Trying to trust God

[Monica4316]

Hi,

for a long time now I’ve been feeling drawn to the whole concept of religious life.

however, I don’t understand why God would give me this desire cause it seems really impossible, at least at this moment.

For one, I have a lot of loans, and also a family situation that might prevent me from being a nun. Also, sometimes I also feel drawn to marriage and having children. I’m really torn between these two possible vocations, and at this point it’s basically 50/50… but somewhere in my heart I still wish I had a religious vocation.

I know that my present task is to grow in holiness right where I am, and I’m trying to do this…

but how do you keep on trusting God when nothing seems to make sense?

have any of you ever gone through something similar, …is it possible to have a liking for the religious life but not be called to it? or is it possible for God to call someone even though the situation seems impossible… after all, there is nothing impossible with God?

thank you

 

[Ed_Montgomery]

Dear Monica4316:

God is the closest when you don’t feel him at all. If you feel you have the calling to the Religious life, then I urge you to check out the nearest convent on a -retreat- sort of way. You can tell them your situation, and I’m sure they will give you a tour.

Also, who do you think put that religious call into your head? I presume it had to be from the Almighty. Isn’t that cool when you know God, like THEE God wants you to be a servant of His will? I think there are hours of dedicated prayer that should go into this. Being torn in between is the hardest of all for myself.

It was also be a great examination of conscious time. I hope you will discern wisely, just remember. Pray pray pray!

Your in my prayers;
Ed

 

[Tyuiop411]

Just pray to God and will reveal which path is right I myself am currently trying to figure out if i want to become a Monk and not go to College so i feel for you.

God Bless

-Tyler

 

[Primox]

God is the closest when you don’t feel him at all.

Is he the farthest from us when we feel his presence?
Does God, who is in and about everything, near or distance himself according to our intuition?
Or at all?

To the OP, I have a friend who has the same struggle. His revelation has been that, while he is called to either religious life or priesthood, God has expressed that he wants him to discern for himself, according to God’s Will, and according to his heart’s inclination. It’s a healthy gambit to ponder: God delights in our free will, as we ourselves do.

May your prayers be fruitful and well-heard,
God Bless!

 

[Monica4316]

thank you everyone

I was thinking more about this today…I just don’t understand why God would give me this desire for the religious life when He knows that right now, I can’t do anything about it. I just became Catholic this Easter, so I need to be Catholic for at least 2 years more, and also I need to discern, maybe get a spiritual director, and most of all - I have to sort out some family stuff and pay off a big student loan.

(they don’t let people in with loans and financial obligations right? cause you take a vow of poverty…)

But today, I had this thought that maybe God is telling me this now to prepare me for the future… OR, maybe He doesn’t want me to be a nun, - after all, I have a desire for marriage and children too, - and maybe He just wants me to learn obedience. Maybe He wants me to die to self more through this… and learn to trust, and have blind faith.

perhaps if I’m not meant to enter a religious order, God is still calling me to give all of me to Him and to not be afraid to give things up. Maybe He wants me to start now, and that’s why He gave me these thoughts.

So I think even if I don’t have a religious vocation, - and that is likely, too - there’s still a purpose to all this.

I just really want to learn to love God first and to truly count the world as loss compared to Him, and maybe through this little trial, I’ll be a bit closer…

well in all things, I pray that His will would be done.

 

[skallal]

Hey Monica,

I think it’s really wise at this point to not even worry about discernment, and just focus on getting closer to God, as you suggested. With time, His Will shall become more clear.

Also there is a charitable organization that helps men and women with vocations to pay off their student loans, average gifts are usually about $10,000 I think.

http://fundforvocations.org/Mission

They might be able to help you.

Most of the other obstacles you mentioned are more imaginary than real. A spiritual director is helpful, not necessary. Same with the time as a Catholic for less formal communities. Of course, I can’t comment specifically on your family situation without more details. That could be an obstacle, but who knows? Stranger things have happened…

I’m here for you in the future…

In Christ,

Brother Scott
Semarian
Apostles of the Interior Life, Rome

 

[LilFranciscan25]

Hi,

for a long time now I’ve been feeling drawn to the whole concept of religious life.

however, I don’t understand why God would give me this desire cause it seems really impossible, at least at this moment.

For one, I have a lot of loans, and also a family situation that might prevent me from being a nun. Also, sometimes I also feel drawn to marriage and having children. I’m really torn between these two possible vocations, and at this point it’s basically 50/50… but somewhere in my heart I still wish I had a religious vocation.

I know that my present task is to grow in holiness right where I am, and I’m trying to do this…

but how do you keep on trusting God when nothing seems to make sense?

have any of you ever gone through something similar, …is it possible to have a liking for the religious life but not be called to it? or is it possible for God to call someone even though the situation seems impossible… after all, there is nothing impossible with God?

thank you

Honey, I know exactly what you are going through! My situation is not exactly the same, but very similar. I thought discerning religious life was absolutely hopeless because of problems with my mental health (I have suffered with depression and anxiety issues), but a wise Carmelite Prioress once told me that it all depends on what the situation is. If I was able to function in the order on an antidepressant (if needed), they would allow me to enter. She told me that needing medication for depression is not so different from needing medication for diabetes. It’s not like we asked for the illnesses, right?

I have to tell you, that after that, I knew there was hope. Previous superiors had told me that having depression cannot admit one to religious life because of the various difficulties that come along with the illness, but I wanted more than anything just to try the life. The calling would just not go away no matter how much I pushed it out of my mind. I knew marriage would not satisfy my heart in the same way. So, I kept looking, determined to find an order that would accept me in spite of my limitations. I found another active/contemplative order of Carmelites and applied to join them, but then God told me that something even better was out there. Now, I am looking into the Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal. (I’ve since gotten off the medication, and I’m able to function normally. So my chances are much better.)

Have you looked into programs that would help you pay off your student loan? There is the Laboure Foundation and the Mater Ecclesaie Fund for Vocations. Serra Club even tries to help when needed.

labourefoundation.org/
fundforvocations.org/
catholic-foundation.com/index.php?page=vocations-funds

I just want to encourage you. It may seem, at times, like all is lost, but don’t give up unless every order on the planet has told you that they won’t accept you.

Pax et Bonum!

 

[Monica4316]

Hey Monica,

I think it’s really wise at this point to not even worry about discernment, and just focus on getting closer to God, as you suggested. With time, His Will shall become more clear.

Also there is a charitable organization that helps men and women with vocations to pay off their student loans, average gifts are usually about $10,000 I think.

http://fundforvocations.org/Mission

They might be able to help you.

Most of the other obstacles you mentioned are more imaginary than real. A spiritual director is helpful, not necessary. Same with the time as a Catholic for less formal communities. Of course, I can’t comment specifically on your family situation without more details. That could be an obstacle, but who knows? Stranger things have happened…

I’m here for you in the future…

In Christ,

Brother Scott
Semarian
Apostles of the Interior Life, Rome

thanks so much!! that helps…

Honey, I know exactly what you are going through! My situation is not exactly the same, but very similar. I thought discerning religious life was absolutely hopeless because of problems with my mental health (I have suffered with depression and anxiety issues), but a wise Carmelite Prioress once told me that it all depends on what the situation is. If I was able to function in the order on an antidepressant (if needed), they would allow me to enter. She told me that needing medication for depression is not so different from needing medication for diabetes. It’s not like we asked for the illnesses, right?

I have to tell you, that after that, I knew there was hope. Previous superiors had told me that having depression cannot admit one to religious life because of the various difficulties that come along with the illness, but I wanted more than anything just to try the life. The calling would just not go away no matter how much I pushed it out of my mind. I knew marriage would not satisfy my heart in the same way. So, I kept looking, determined to find an order that would accept me in spite of my limitations. I found another active/contemplative order of Carmelites and applied to join them, but then God told me that something even better was out there. Now, I am looking into the Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal. (I’ve since gotten off the medication, and I’m able to function normally. So my chances are much better.)

Have you looked into programs that would help you pay off your student loan? There is the Laboure Foundation and the Mater Ecclesaie Fund for Vocations. Serra Club even tries to help when needed.

labourefoundation.org/
fundforvocations.org/
catholic-foundation.com/index.php?page=vocations-funds

I just want to encourage you. It may seem, at times, like all is lost, but don’t give up unless every order on the planet has told you that they won’t accept you.

Pax et Bonum!

thank you!! I had no idea programs like this existed.

I hope everything goes well with your search as well… it’s difficult when there are obstacles, but I was thinking maybe that is how God teaches us to trust Him? And if it seems difficult or impossible to enter a religious order yet you still do it, maybe this would really glorify God cause then it would be obvious that it was His work.

I guess it does take a while to figure things out… at the moment, I don’t even have any particular order/community in mind, lol. I love the Carmelites and the Poor Clares but many other ones as well!!

something that’s been on my mind lately, is how to deal with the fear… I have A LOT of fear about all this… I want to love God so much yet I’m afraid to just ‘let go’ of the world, and I see now how many ‘attachments’ I have I still have so far to go!

Anyways… thanks for all your help everyone…

God bless!!

 

[Poor_Clare_tobe]

thanks so much!! that helps…

thank you!! I had no idea programs like this existed.

I hope everything goes well with your search as well… it’s difficult when there are obstacles, but I was thinking maybe that is how God teaches us to trust Him? And if it seems difficult or impossible to enter a religious order yet you still do it, maybe this would really glorify God cause then it would be obvious that it was His work.

I guess it does take a while to figure things out… at the moment, I don’t even have any particular order/community in mind, lol. I love the Carmelites and the Poor Clares but many other ones as well!!

something that’s been on my mind lately, is how to deal with the fear… I have A LOT of fear about all this… I want to love God so much yet I’m afraid to just ‘let go’ of the world, and I see now how many ‘attachments’ I have I still have so far to go!

[One other note here… Do not feel like you must be free of all attachments before you think of religious life or even upon entering religious life. Yes it might be good to live simply ( If you feel called to religious life) However one does not enter religious life being perfect, Rather one enters as ready as an individual can be and is trained (so to speak) though formation on how to “become” a religious and become detached from “things”… ]… I hope this helps a bit and perhaps other religious can share more to their experience on this part of their journey?]

Anyways… thanks for all your help everyone…

God bless!!

Hi Monica,

I just wanted to add a few thoughts here.

First of all time is on your side… especially seeing as how you have a few years before an order would accept you for entrance. (There is a waiting period for converts… just to be sure that the desire for religious life isn’t a phase… not to be to technical here)…that being said you can do some practical things now:

Such as: 1) Learning more about the Church.

           2)  Really thinking about whether or not you are feeling called to religious life or to marriage.

           3) Work on not increasing your debt... pay off what you can while you wait. (This benefits you whether you decide marriage is for you, or religious life)

           4) Establish some contacts now with either committed young people or with a few religous. Perhaps become involved with your RCIA program in your parish. Start being connected in your local parish or if in school your college community.

          5) Determine if the family situation you mention needs your attention??? 
              [It is difficult to offer concrete advice not knowing what your situation is]

          6) Eventually you will need to find a mentor or spiritual director to help you. It helps immensely to have someone to speak to again this may be way further down the road ..... As time progresses if you still feel called seriously  to investigate the religious life.........

some things to think about are:
What spirituality attracts you??? [For the present why not read the lives of the saints this may help you to get a feel of the different variations]
What Rule do they follow?
Active? [what apostolate?]
Contemplative? Semi Cloistered?
Again note:These questions would be for further on down the road.

A personal note here if it helps:
  I was a professed Franciscan in an active community. The community disbanded and about the time I was discerning to find a new home a family situation came up. I was the eldest child and most able to step in to help out. Well 15 years later with now grown up siblings I have found a way to return to religious life. I had a massive amount of debt [student loans, and helping family and lay offs]... Suffice it to say.. Miracles happen.   

Again remember God does not call us to something we can not do. Pray and live in the moment. Do not fear. Enjoy your today.

Blessings of Peace and All Good! *

 

[Monica4316]

thank you so much!! that definitely helps me.

I’ve been praying about all this and I feel more peace now…

God bless!!