Tubal If a woman realizes it's wrong after the fact, then what?

[dizzy_dave]

I know someone who had a tubal after the birth of her second child. Her and her husband then decided she’d have a tubal because they couldn’t afford any more kids, if she knows it’s wrong and can’t afford to reverse it then what should they do?

 

[sparkle]

Hey–are you talking about me?

This is my situation exactly!

I didn’t know any better at the time which was many years ago, now I do, and I really regret it! If I knew then what I know and believe in my heart now, I of course would never have done it. Now I’m too old to have kids. Such is hindsight being 20/20 right?

If your friend is still wanting children–she can get a reversal.

Otherwise–she should forget it and move on. She probably didn’t know any better then either, and it’s no use crying over spilt milk! The past is the past --dead and gone—Thanks be to God!

God knows our hearts…

 

[Scout]

This situation happened to me last year. After the birth of my third child, I had a tubal. I wasn’t Catholic then, and had no idea of the teachings of the Catholic Church on sterilization. I talked about this with my priest during my First Confession, and I was absolved and it’s no longer an issue. My priest told me that, in my case, it would not be considered a mortal sin anyway, because I was unaware of the gravity of the situation.

I can’t afford to have the procedure reversed right now, either. I keep hoping and praying that I will one day, but right now I just continue on with my life and know that God has forgiven me.

You might want to have your friend check out onemoresoul.com. This website might be able to help her cope with any grief she may have, and it may also help put her in touch with a Dr. who will perform the operation at a significant discount.

I hope I’ve been of some help.

Scout :tiphat:

 

[1ke]

dizzy_dave:

I know someone who had a tubal after the birth of her second child. Her and her husband then decided she’d have a tubal because they couldn’t afford any more kids, if she knows it’s wrong and can’t afford to reverse it then what should they do?

She should go to Confession and then after that she should continue to pray about the possibility of reversal in the future. But… There is no obligation to have a reversal.

Also, she could-- if she wanted to-- study NFP and abstain during the fertile period just as if she did not have a tubal. This should could offer up in solidarity with women who are infertile and desparately want children and in reparation for her tubal. Again, not required in any way but a voluntary thing.

 

[asquared]

Yours is a hypothetical question, right? I am sure you would not be speculating about the sin or state of soul of someone you know, which is N.O.O.B. none of our business. Things that are matter for the confessional are not matter for discussion or speculation by others, particularly for Christians who are guided foremost by charity.

 

[conniejean]

My husband and I went through this last fall. He talked to our priest about his vasectomy during reconciliation and he said that his sin has been forgiven, but, because of his age, and my age, that he recommended we get his vasectomy reversed. We got a consultation with a doctor and found it would cost $8,000 to have it done! We prayed for another source, and by the grace of God we found one. We found a doctor in Texas that does reversals as a ministry. It cost us $2500. Even with the airfare, hotel and food, it was still cheaper. The doctors website is: www.reversals.com. It was a wonderful experience for us (how many doctors have prayed with you before surgery!?) and we hope for more children. I am 40 and my husband is 45. We currently have three kids. I recommend that you pray about it. Maybe you can contact Dr. Leverett at the above website and see if he has any referrals for you. There is a couple in our parish that had a reversed tubal and got pregnant.

See my post on the “Ask an Apologetic” Forum regarding reversals and more children. Fr. Serpa gave me a beautiful reply. God bless him for being so honest.

Good luck to all of you contemplating a reversal. God will show you the way - you just have to listen.