Two different faiths- one family

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Jordan_Francis said:
I don’t mean it in the sense that the Church is “just a denomination”. But I do think our priorities should be straight. For a Church that puts so much emphasis on the eternal bond of marriage, we should not be making the poster feel guilty, we should be trying to help.

I’m sure most of the people posting here would agree that divorce is causing massive social problems- yet we’re going to chastise a faithful Catholic who has done all in her capacity to maintain her marriage and instruct her children in the Faith?

My point is the children are baptized into Christ and there will come a time when they, outside of their parents, can make a choice.
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Yes the Church puts much emphasis on the bond of marriage–yet that still leaves us with the matter of — who do we put first : our Lord and what He expects from us or the human.
 
Br.Rich_SFO said:
I think that you should continue to teach. What does he say when you remind him that he promised not to interfere with you Baptizing the children and raising them Catholic in order to obtain the Bishops permission to marry you?
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The non-Catholic Spouse no longer has to make this promise. I have been married for 28+ years and was the only one who had to make this promise for the Bishop’s permission. I did though make that promise and he knew it and knew that I would not have married him if he would not allow me to raise them Catholic! So, my oldest is still a very devout Catholic, the youngest has decided that she doesn’t believe in God as presented in Christianity, “but if I did it would have to be Catholic!”

To answer the OP, keep teaching CCD, talk about it with your children, let them hear about the Faith. Remember one of the things we are to do is raise Saints, do what you can with them to do this. Let them see a good Catholic. My non-believing daughter gets from her friends “I am so sorry for you” when they find out their mom is a devout Catholic but she always tells them not to be because her mom is what a Catholic is supposed to be; you know love the sinner, hate the sin.

Brenda V.
 
Everyone seems to be making the assumption that they married in this state. Perhaps the OP converted after marriage, I don’t have enough information to say either way. If she did convert and had already made promises in the Lutheran Church, then the husband is well withing his rights to say the children cannot be rasied in the Catholic Church.

This is the situation that my wife and I find oruselves in. She converted after many years of marriage. I am not in a position to command her in matters of her faith, but I can ensure that the children do not receive religious training in a faith that lacks the fullness of truth. She agrees with this, so it is not an issue right now, but as the father my duties to my children out weigh my desires to please my wife by allowing the children to go to both services.

A mixed marriage is a terrible burden on the entire family. I would never suggest it from the onset, but if one finds oneself in one afterwards, we are still commanded to remember the sacramental nature of marriage.

If the wife did not promise to bring the children up in the Catholic Church as a condition of marriage, then she must yield to the father’s wishes here and not complain.

As for the original question, it should not preclude her from teaching her own faith and shame on others for judging her.
 
Jordan_Francis said:
1ke,

I think your posts here are coming across as a little harsh. From everything the poster has presented, she is a dedicated Catholic. I do not think we should be making her feel guilty for not raising her children within the Church if she has made it clear doing so would be a serious threat to her married life.

The fact of the matter is that her and her husband DO have children now and I think it would be irresponsible for anyone here to ask her to jepordize her marriage over denominational differences.
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As a person who married first, converted later, and has/is raising our children Catholic while being married to a wonderful man who is still, at best agnostic and at worst atheist, I strongly disagree.
There’s no excuse good enough for not raising the children in the faith and that includes hubby not liking it. I would not be disrespectful of my dh’s differring thoughts, but neither would I allow that to deprive my children of the fullness the faith in the Church.
I would hestitate to allow someone who doesn’t teach their own children the faith the opportunity to teach it to my children. To me, this seems a valid issue to consider.
**And I do have a further question, if the children aren’t being raised Catholic are they being raised Luthern??? or being left to the cruel fate of chance to “decide for themselves” which ususally ends in believing nothing???🤷 **
I’m not angry at you, just telling it from my perspective.
**I’m sure you are scared of losing your hubby’s heart over this, maybe justly feared, but one cannot claim faith when one refuses to take the leap.😦 **
Prayers for your marriage.
I agree with others that this is a huge problem when conflicting faiths are in one marriage.
 
I apologize for not keeping up with this… I appreciate all the posts; and would like to say that as of right now I have only read through post 9.

I don’t have a computer at home, so am at the library and don’tknow how much time my 8 month old daughter is going to give me here.

I wanted to mention to 1ke, that although i appreciate him responding and feel he must live his life very much to the liking of God and the teachings of the Catholic church and so respect his opnions…I have been informed by a number of priests that keeping my marriage together is right now what is of the most importance.

I should have given a little backround on my story…I was married in the lutheran church because as a teenager I had stopped practicing my faith. My husbands Lutheran faith however was very important t ohim though and at the stage I wasat in my life I felt as long as I loved God in my heart; that was all that maattered

Some things happened in 2004 at the age of 29 and aftyer i had already had 3 boys that is what i consider to be a conversion experience and led my back to the catholic faith this time fully undrerstanding the Truth it holds.

In coming back the first thing i was told was that i needed to have my marraige blessed in order to receive communion. Recieving Communion was of incredible importance to me so I preceeded to have the pastor bless my marraige. He explained the rules of the Church to us, and I explained that it was not possible for them to be raised Catholic and for me to remain married…so he emphasized **to the best of my ability **part, and that is exactly what I have done.

My husband allows me to bring them with when I go to daily mass, because otherwise I would need to get a babysitter for them. He respects my faith, and the need I feel to receive communion often, so he allows this…but the actual teaching them in the faith he will not allow.

I thank everyone for your help and very much look forward to reading the rest of the posts. i only want to do the right thing, but as of right now am not sure what tjhat is
 
tossolul said:
I thank everyone for your help and very much look forward to reading the rest of the posts. i only want to do the right thing, but as of right now am not sure what tjhat is
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thank you for shedding light on the issue. Yes, you are in a tough spot. And, I commend you for doing all you can. Clearly you didn’t properly understand your obligations when you entered into your marriage, and your children were born into the Lutheran faith. Their father’s position is understandable in light of this information.

That is sad, and I hope you will continue to bring them as much of the Catholic faith as possible. You are doing what you can with the choices you made, and it’s a terribly tough thing I’m sure. I’m sure your children will recognize your love for God and hopefully will be attracted to the Faith when they are able to make their own decisions.

As to teaching CCD, I still think it is problematic but really something to discuss with your pastor. It is certainly not appropriate for people to gossip about you. The pastor should address this as well.

By the way, I’m a she, not a he.
 
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