Types of Friends who leave the Church

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DisorientingSneeze

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An interesting read about friends who leave the church. I almost shared this article with some friends, but I was bothered about the repetition of the phrase “rape the soul.”

What do you make of the categories she came up with? I used to run into mostly the first three categories, but lately it is mostly people like those in this story I meet, people who have been hurt or wronged. Some could have been personally hurt masquerading as one of the other categories, because we don’t share our hurts with everyone.

 
Where’s her category for lazy sods who still believe but think God doesn’t really care if they commit certain sins and it’s just an old fashioned idea that he’s bothered by them? That would be my group but she doesn’t seem to even realize it exists.

I’m not really big on categories. There are as many reasons why people leave as there are why they rejoin. All individual.

All the “judge not” stuff is somewhere between cute and tiresome.
 
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Where’s the category for all those people who don’t want any limits on their sex lives? I imagine that’s a big one.
 
Most people I know would probably say that they don’t get anything out of Mass or bible studies or anything like that. If they do happen to go to a Mass it doesn’t have any impact on them, unless maybe the homily is very, very good.

Judgement is another thing. Self righteousness. Boring. They just don’t want any part of it.
 
DisorientingSneeze said:
What do you make of the categories she came up with?
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I prefer the Categories Jesus listed when he explained the parable of the sower:

This is the meaning of the parable:

The seed is the word of God. Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved.

Those on the rocky ground are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away.

The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature.

But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop. Luke 8:11-15
 
I consider not being able to use contraception also a limit because it means you can’t have sex whenever.
 
Well, I don’t know anyone who has stopped going to Church just because they use contraceptives.
 
1Lord1Faith said:
Well, I don’t know anyone who has stopped going to Church just because they use contraceptives.
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I know 2 (though one in a broad sense just didn’t want anyone telling them what to do but they mainly gripe about contraception to anyone who will listen, they’re also a pain to work with because that attitude carries over to having people manage them) and I know 1 who won’t even consider being Catholic because she won’t be able to “date properly” and make sure her and her boyfriend are “sexually compatible” before marrying him. Oddly enough, she does hold to marriage with no divorce.
 
I found the article boring and uninformative. I also find it odd that it is called ‘Types of Friends who Leave the Church’ only to end with us finding out none of the people left ! Kind of a contradiction.

Not to mention, what is the point on concentrating on others who leave? Are we called to do our best without judging others?
 
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Not to mention, what is the point on concentrating on others who leave? Are we called to do our best without judging others?
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It was weird in a lot of ways. I don’t know if its neccesarily about judging others so much as understanding them so we can help.
 
DisorientingSneeze said:
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Not to mention, what is the point on concentrating on others who leave? Are we called to do our best without judging others?
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It was weird in a lot of ways. I don’t know if its neccesarily about judging others so much as understanding them so we can help.
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Well… if it was about helping others, why wasn’t any practical advice given?
 
Maybe she was confusingly plugging her book? I’m not sure.
 
DisorientingSneeze said:
I almost shared this article with some friends
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I myself would not share that article any further than this thread. I don’t think the article helps much to understand the problem of people leaving the Church. I don’t think the article will help to build faith in God or the Church. It makes priests and bishops look bad, very bad. The author struggles to preach healing and hope, but doesn’t quite accomplish it. These are my opinions.
 
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I think you’re right. It’s hard to know its intended effect. I guess what interested me about it is how much it did help me empathize with people who left (even though every example she gave was someone who didn’t leave). All my life I’ve only seen good and holy priests and my gut reaction is sometimes far from empathy when people leave unless the person were attacked or something.
 
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DisorientingSneeze said:
my gut reaction is sometimes far from empathy when people leave unless the person were attacked or something.
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Unless the person was mistreated or abused or otherwise victimized, you don’t need to have empathy for why they left. You should try to be kind and tactful to them because they are obviously going through something personal to them, and denouncing them is not going to help the situation and may drive them farther away. But it’s not necessary for you to relate to it. I think in most cases we’re simply not going to be able to relate to it because it’s not our experience. Like, I had a doubt one time years ago but that doesn’t mean I can relate to someone else’s doubt on a completely different topic about which I have no or almost no doubt.
 
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