Types of Homosexuality

[Ghosty]

I’m in Thailand right now visiting friends and family, and I’ve come to learn something very interesting. I met a friend of a friend here who is clearly gay. He calls himself gay, he acts in a feminine manner, and even uses the female modifiers for himself when speaking. We were all out bowling together last night when another friend showed up who was clearly a lesbian, doing all things, including speaking, in a male manner.

My confusion began when the gay man and the lesbian began flirting with eachother and holding hands, obviously interested in eachother. I asked one of my friends about it, saying “Are they flirting?” He said they were, and that they might begin dating. I said I thought the man was gay, and he said he was. It took me a while to work it out, but it turns out that most “gay” and “lesbian” people in Thailand have sex exclusively with the opposite sex, but with reversed personas. Those men who are feminine growing up, what we would consider “always having been gay” pursue “lesbians” rather than other men. These “homosexuals” marry, have children, and raise families just like any other couple, albeit with reversed roles. Of course there are some homosexuals who do have sex with the same sex, but they are not nearly as common as in the US. When I asked about people having sex with the same sex, even the “gay” man was a little shocked. The response of my Thai friends was that “that’s too unnatural!” When I told them that in the US most gay men slept only with other men, they were very suprised.

So it seems that the Thai culture has a completely different environment for homosexuals, one that recognizes the differences in gender preferences, but also encourages male and female coupling. This gay culture is open and free, with all of the trappings of American gay culture, but with natural sexual relationships preserved with reversed genders. These people are completely comfortable in who they are, with no apparent self-denial or self-hatred. I’ve never seen anything like it.

So what do others think of this? I’ll have to do a bit more questioning and research, but it seems that they may have found a novel way of dealing with the “homosexual” impulse that does seem to be present in many people from a young age while not abandoning Natural Law. Personally I’m fascinated by this, and I’m curious how such a set up would work in the US with its strong push for people with opposite gender identities to couple with people of the same sex.

 

[Xenon-135]

oh my head is spinning. So if the gay man and the lesbian marry, is it considered a “Gay” marriage, but only between members of the opposite sex?

Also, who gets control of the remote in that kind of a situation?

 

[Tom]

Ghosty:

the gay man and the lesbian began flirting with eachother and holding hands, obviously interested in eachother.

Perhaps we need to define homosexual? Webster’s:

homosexual 1. adj of, characterized by or involbing sexual attraction felt by a person for another person of the same sex.

So in the situation you describe, one male and one female, is not a homosexual relationship.

Ghosty:

it turns out that most “gay” and “lesbian” people in Thailand have sex exclusively with the opposite sex, but with reversed personas.

Then they aren’t homosexual

Ghosty:

This gay culture is open and free, with all of the trappings of American gay culture, but with natural sexual relationships preserved with reversed genders.

I’m trying not to laugh, but without changing plumbing, how do you “reverse genders”? Do the parts still line up? Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. Where’s the Holy Spirit when I need Him… lol

 

[DaveBj]

Oh my! I need a nap after that one

I can just imagine the country-western songs that are waiting to be written about these situations.

DaveBj

 

[Tom]

DaveBj:

Oh my! I need a nap after that one
I can just imagine the country-western songs that are waiting to be written about these situations.
DaveBj

LOL. Sing it with me!!!

 

[Exalt]

This is very interesting. (I’m sort of annoyed that some people are not taking it very seriously)

By the way, “gender” and “sex” are different. “Sex” are the biological differences, “gender” is what a given person percieves themselves to be. (Speaking psychologically, of course)

It does sort of make sense, however, in a strange way.

 

[JimG]

So maybe this is an ideal solution? Now you just need to convince gay men and lesbian women to start dating each other.

 

[tTt]

so the feminine man is attracted to the masculine characteristics of manly women. (and vice versa) I already know people like this and I already consider him to be gay. i don’t know if they consider themselves to be gay.

Are they?

 

[Faustina]

Exalt:

This is very interesting. (I’m sort of annoyed that some people are not taking it very seriously)

By the way, “gender” and “sex” are different. “Sex” are the biological differences, “gender” is what a given person percieves themselves to be. (Speaking psychologically, of course)

It does sort of make sense, however, in a strange way.

Well, I can understand the humor, especially about the t.v. remote

I do agree, that in some twisted, alter-dimensional world way, it does make sense. If you think about it, there are two types of gays (both male and female) For the males, you have either the feminine-mannered or the more masculine type. Same for gay females. So it would make sense that the feminine gay male, who is usually looking for a more male figure, would be attracted to a masculine female. I know some very feminine heterosexual woman that are more masculine than some feminine gay males.

 

[The_Hidden_Life]

Actually, I’ve heard of this type of behavior before. It is specific to that area of the world and a long-standing tradition. If I remember it correctly some people consider them to be more of a “third sex” rather than just men and women with unusual behaviors. It was a long time ago that I read about it, sorry.

It is not what I would consider “gay” behavior as we understand it in the US. You’re right that this behavior could have developed as a social outlet for people with these kinds of feelings. But in the US it seems unlikely to ever catch on. In the Western world it is all tied up with the desire to be subversive to society, to buck Christian norms, to shock others and in a way also to avoid the responsibility that comes with having a mature male-female marriage relationship and the usually resulting care of children.

Segue: I once read that Sting (the musician) had been interviewed by The Advocate (popular gay magazine) and asked what he thought about homosexuals. He said he hadn’t thought about it much and thought mainly they were people that had failed to mature properly and were infantilized in their behaviors, i.e. that having a relationship with a person of the same sex is easier and is less of a responsibility than marrying the traditional way.

These Thai “gays” are not bucking their culture. I don’t think anyone in Thailand finds them shocking–wherease “true homosexual” behavior is shocking.

They may have adopted the word “gay” to describe themselves but a better descriptor would be “effeminate men” and “masculine women,” although in a very extreme way.

Just goes to show you, you can’t judge a book by its cover, right? Nor can you judge a man by his lisping speech, fancy clothes and well-coiffed hair! Please read this with a sense of humor.

 

[puzzleannie]

I’m curious, perhaps someone from Massachusetts can answer, when same-sex civilly recognized unions (I refuse to use the word marriage, an oxymoron) becomes legal, how do the two men or two women refer to each other, in preference to the current awkward usage of “partner” husband and husband? wife and wife? Actually in California the “third” sex (where is Simone Beauvoir when you need her) is lobbying for official recognition and status so I guess what you describe is another cultural construct of the gay lifestyle.

 

[Ghosty]

These Thai “gays” are not bucking their culture. I don’t think anyone in Thailand finds them shocking–wherease “true homosexual” behavior is shocking.

They may have adopted the word “gay” to describe themselves but a better descriptor would be “effeminate men” and “masculine women,” although in a very extreme way.

They definately aren’t bucking their culture, and not even the most conservative types, like my friend, are shocked by this behavior. I use the term gay simply because that’s the word they use to describe themselves.

I also don’t find it likely to catch on here, but I think it’s a rather brilliant way of directing such impulses, a method that the West seems to have passed over or missed entirely. They apparently have a much smaller percentage of “real homosexuals” by the Western understanding, because the traits that most homosexuals seem to identify themselves by are accepted and properly channeled into a completely healthy AND natural relationship structure. It just goes to show that homosexuality is not as clear cut as either the Western gay culture OR the Western Church make it out to be.

 

[Faithful_2_Rome]

Strange…

All of a sudden I’ve developed a craving for some Asian food

Anyone recall that old Saturday Night Live skit with Dana Carvey? He acted like a TOTAL Queer, but yet was straight and married with kids? He had his own theme song as well!..darn, I wish I could remember it…

 

[Catholic2003]

How about we just go back to the good old days, when “gay” just meant happy (or festive).