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CharlesFulkerson
Guest
As teens we all have things we don’t like about our parents. Tell a couple examples and what you do to try to meet there requirments.
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Trishie
Guest
We parents do try, you know.
We were just kids who grew up, and found ourselves later as parents. We needed a detailed manual for each child.
There wasn’t one.
As our children grew beyond their time with, us…and they started making choices that break our hearts for them, yet we can’t help, except in tiny ways, if then
it’s the hardest time since we brought you home from hospital, with our world turned upside down, for years.
Ourselves put last, and picking our way through dilemmas to find the best way to go forward, to help, to guide.
Children expect so much of us…but we are just people too,
and the child is still there in us however many years pass!
I tried with the following prayer as my children hit the world and the world hit them:
Jesus, they stand at the crossroads, our youth. They no longer trustfully accept the values or directions of their seniors, unless it proves convenient or appears to have integrity enough to override convenience. They no longer trustfully accept the values or directions of their seniors unless these have integrity enough to override worldly values.
Grant us grace to live and love in cheerful and sincere witness of Your gospel, striving for goodness, justice, and unselfish caring in the way that we deal with them. Thus, they may perceive the value and validity of Christian (Catholic) commitment. Let them recognise, however, that they can no more expect us to be perfect and faultless than we should expect perfection of them.
By not demanding more than they can reasonably offer, let them see that while none of us is perfect, each ought to try for one’s best according to nature and ability. Grant us wisdom and love to permit them their freedom to follow their own directions, which are as valid to them as ours are to ourselves.
(Next post or it won’t fit)
We were just kids who grew up, and found ourselves later as parents. We needed a detailed manual for each child.
There wasn’t one.
As our children grew beyond their time with, us…and they started making choices that break our hearts for them, yet we can’t help, except in tiny ways, if then
it’s the hardest time since we brought you home from hospital, with our world turned upside down, for years.
Ourselves put last, and picking our way through dilemmas to find the best way to go forward, to help, to guide.
Children expect so much of us…but we are just people too,
and the child is still there in us however many years pass!
I tried with the following prayer as my children hit the world and the world hit them:
Prayer for Youth
Holy Spirit please bring Your great power and influence into their lives and lead students into the fullness of God’s love and God’s purposes for their lives and for the mental, physical and spiritual needs of themselves and of othersJesus, they stand at the crossroads, our youth. They no longer trustfully accept the values or directions of their seniors, unless it proves convenient or appears to have integrity enough to override convenience. They no longer trustfully accept the values or directions of their seniors unless these have integrity enough to override worldly values.
Grant us grace to live and love in cheerful and sincere witness of Your gospel, striving for goodness, justice, and unselfish caring in the way that we deal with them. Thus, they may perceive the value and validity of Christian (Catholic) commitment. Let them recognise, however, that they can no more expect us to be perfect and faultless than we should expect perfection of them.
By not demanding more than they can reasonably offer, let them see that while none of us is perfect, each ought to try for one’s best according to nature and ability. Grant us wisdom and love to permit them their freedom to follow their own directions, which are as valid to them as ours are to ourselves.
(Next post or it won’t fit)
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Trishie
Guest
Give us grace to understand and to forgive their mistakes, knowing that we ourselves frequently err. Grant them to discover You through our understanding and forgiveness, and lead them to find healing and growth in Scripture and in Your Sacraments. Let us witness to them, without trying to break them to our mature wisdom, lest we, by our inflexibility or judgement, cause anyone to lose himself/herself and You for a time or forever.
The pain in our hearts they may not understand until in their own young they confront these moments of anxiety, conflict and uncertainty.
Heal our hearts and minds with hope. Give us trust in Your hidden leading and protection of them, so that we respond to them gently, steadily, wisely, and with peace. Help us to preserve their balance and identity, to foster their reverence for and nurture of Your unique image within themselves and in others for the way that we love and respect them.
Grant Your light to illuminate their paths, so that they may see to clear away errors and barriers that dim the wonderful unique celebration of Your living image within them.
Dear Jesus, we confess our frailty, our sinfulness, our meagre witness, and appeal humbly to You. We cannot contend alone with such sensitive and crucial responsibility regarding our young ones, and our anxieties may sometimes threaten to swamp our faith or judgement. Please help us to be wise, trusting and mature.
Our failures and mistakes regarding them appear to remain as crosses in their lives and in our hearts. Please do not allow our sadness to become self-recrimination, nor impatience towards them. Let it simply be confident prayer that You will take them to your heart, and fill them with Your Spirit to heal them and lead them patiently into the way of Your living gospel. If this path is long and arduous, please grant us the powerful faith of a Monica.
Whatever paths they wander by, our children — through us, their elders put Your hand gently on their shoulders, steady and warm. Look into their eyes with deep caring and friendship. Let them see their preciousness, their rich possibilities, and their kinship in You.
Let them know that they can share their laughter as well as their sorrows. Eat bread with them, listen and respond. Teach by example that is cheerful, faithful, gentle, and strong. Walk with us beside them supportively without intrusion—letting go, as their need requires but always prayerfully near in the quiet presence of Your Spirit.
Thank You, dear Jesus who loves our young ones more than we fathom. You are our hope for them.
(from my 'handful of wildflowers)
The pain in our hearts they may not understand until in their own young they confront these moments of anxiety, conflict and uncertainty.
Heal our hearts and minds with hope. Give us trust in Your hidden leading and protection of them, so that we respond to them gently, steadily, wisely, and with peace. Help us to preserve their balance and identity, to foster their reverence for and nurture of Your unique image within themselves and in others for the way that we love and respect them.
Grant Your light to illuminate their paths, so that they may see to clear away errors and barriers that dim the wonderful unique celebration of Your living image within them.
Dear Jesus, we confess our frailty, our sinfulness, our meagre witness, and appeal humbly to You. We cannot contend alone with such sensitive and crucial responsibility regarding our young ones, and our anxieties may sometimes threaten to swamp our faith or judgement. Please help us to be wise, trusting and mature.
Our failures and mistakes regarding them appear to remain as crosses in their lives and in our hearts. Please do not allow our sadness to become self-recrimination, nor impatience towards them. Let it simply be confident prayer that You will take them to your heart, and fill them with Your Spirit to heal them and lead them patiently into the way of Your living gospel. If this path is long and arduous, please grant us the powerful faith of a Monica.
Whatever paths they wander by, our children — through us, their elders put Your hand gently on their shoulders, steady and warm. Look into their eyes with deep caring and friendship. Let them see their preciousness, their rich possibilities, and their kinship in You.
Let them know that they can share their laughter as well as their sorrows. Eat bread with them, listen and respond. Teach by example that is cheerful, faithful, gentle, and strong. Walk with us beside them supportively without intrusion—letting go, as their need requires but always prayerfully near in the quiet presence of Your Spirit.
Thank You, dear Jesus who loves our young ones more than we fathom. You are our hope for them.
(from my 'handful of wildflowers)
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Trishie
Guest
What our parents did wrong? My Mum’s worst act was to die when I was 18, not her fault, but left a gap and a grief, and I still have living emotions and thoughts of her.
But there were never adult girl-chats, no sharing insights, no shared coffees, no sharing of my children, her grandchildren.
One day years later I looked around at my three young children with the shattering awareness that Mum and I would never sit there and share a cup of tea and laughter, or my children, and I cried on and off for three days.
My children’s gift for a special birthday was for them to put together for a trip to London, Scotland the land of our ancestors, Rome and Florence. One son accompanied me, delightful travel companion. I remember, as we listened to glorious music in the square below, across from Florence Cathedral, my heart once again, as it has sometimes through the years, felt the pain of little failures, like where it really would have been okay to say yes instead of no, for instance. and with tears in eyes I said to him, “Darling, I’m so sorry for any mistakes I made when you children were growing up. I think of things sometimes, and it hurts so much.”
"Mum, he instantly responded, “You were a good mother. You always loved us.”
Forgive us, as we forgive you!
But there were never adult girl-chats, no sharing insights, no shared coffees, no sharing of my children, her grandchildren.
One day years later I looked around at my three young children with the shattering awareness that Mum and I would never sit there and share a cup of tea and laughter, or my children, and I cried on and off for three days.
My children’s gift for a special birthday was for them to put together for a trip to London, Scotland the land of our ancestors, Rome and Florence. One son accompanied me, delightful travel companion. I remember, as we listened to glorious music in the square below, across from Florence Cathedral, my heart once again, as it has sometimes through the years, felt the pain of little failures, like where it really would have been okay to say yes instead of no, for instance. and with tears in eyes I said to him, “Darling, I’m so sorry for any mistakes I made when you children were growing up. I think of things sometimes, and it hurts so much.”
"Mum, he instantly responded, “You were a good mother. You always loved us.”
Forgive us, as we forgive you!
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CharlesFulkerson
Guest
Gee, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend. Its just that me and my parents can not agree on really anything right know. My mom is always accusing me of stuff that I would never do and my dad always backs her up on it. Then of course there’s the fact that I’m expected to be a perfect student like my older brothers. I have the best grades I’ve had in years but they aren’t satisfied. That song in the original post pretty much sums up my relationship with my parents right know. And the worst is is that they never drop anything. I made some mistakes(sneaking out to be with my girlfriend. Not doing anything bad but just hanging and watching the stars) in May and I still hear about it as little comments at the worst times. Like sometimes my parents are great but they just aren’t there when I need them. I was sort of depressed the other week and all my mom did was pester me about doing my work and not taking breaks to play guitar (I’m home-schooled. the rest of my family isn’t but that’s just another one of my parents little “plans”). But it sort of sucks because most of my songs that I’ve written lately are about depression and stuff. I honestly feel like I live in the wrong place and at the wrong time. I’m not saying I’m suicidal but something just feels wrong about living were I live. I feel like I don’t belong. I know where I feel like I’m suppose to be but I obviously cant move there another for 4 years. And to make it worse my music and the people who like my music are completely rejected by modern society outside of our community. Heavy metal IS a serious music genre and it DOES have a meaning. Some people just hear screaming but I hear peoples lives being saved because I hear the meaning. Well anyhow Im going to stop venting and go watch some TV.
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Trishie
Guest
Charles, no offense whatever! 
I just wander off on a track sometimes
We parents can be a pain , and sometimes hugely so.
It’s a good thread!
I just wander off on a track sometimes
We parents can be a pain , and sometimes hugely so.
It’s a good thread!
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Trishie
Guest
I’m so sorry that is your experience, Charles
It would be very difficult to be what I think of as being ‘hot-housed’.
I hope things improve for you.
I don’t suppose you can speak to your parents about how you feel?
In their way, I think your parents may be fearful, so they keep you on a tight leash.
They mean the best, but it can cause difficulties, and some of the outcomes they are trying to prevent.
And it can result in the depression and suppression that you feel
And it’s tough to be compared with an older sibling’s achievements and ability.
We are all different and have our own abilities, and deserve to be allowed to be the person we are.
All the best with your music. Our creative outlets can help us to survive.
Please take good care of yourself
It would be very difficult to be what I think of as being ‘hot-housed’.
I hope things improve for you.
I don’t suppose you can speak to your parents about how you feel?
In their way, I think your parents may be fearful, so they keep you on a tight leash.
They mean the best, but it can cause difficulties, and some of the outcomes they are trying to prevent.
And it can result in the depression and suppression that you feel
And it’s tough to be compared with an older sibling’s achievements and ability.
We are all different and have our own abilities, and deserve to be allowed to be the person we are.
All the best with your music. Our creative outlets can help us to survive.
Please take good care of yourself
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CharlesFulkerson
Guest
I think I get my message across with my music. Both what I listen too and what I write. I mean outside of my relation with my parents life is pretty good so I’ll try to hold it together. I have a chance at being in a pretty cool band and I’m excelling at guitar more than I ever thought I would. I don’t have many friends as I’m home-schooled but the friends I do have are enough for me. My girlfriend left me but who ever expects high school relationships to last? But honestly I’m a happy guy for the most part and when my parents aren’t on my case they can be pretty cool. But thanks for your concern!
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Trishie
Guest
I’m so pleased that you do have spaces to be free and happy.
I’m delighted that you are playing so well. It’s a gift to be able to enjoy music, and even more to have a genuine gift for excellence!
Even if my ramblings lifted your mood to concentrate more on the happier and most rewarding aspects of life, them this thread was the best one in the forum today!
Charles, I’m sorry about the girlfriend. Good to be philosophical, but it still takes a toll.
It is nice to kind-of meet you.
All the best with everything in your life.
May God bless you in all things, temporal and spirtual
I’m delighted that you are playing so well. It’s a gift to be able to enjoy music, and even more to have a genuine gift for excellence!
Even if my ramblings lifted your mood to concentrate more on the happier and most rewarding aspects of life, them this thread was the best one in the forum today!
Charles, I’m sorry about the girlfriend. Good to be philosophical, but it still takes a toll.
It is nice to kind-of meet you.
All the best with everything in your life.
May God bless you in all things, temporal and spirtual
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DarkLight
Guest
Anyone who says high school is the best years of your life probably doesn’t remember high school very well. Just an FYI. Some parts are good, but not being able to be in charge of taking care of your own needs can really suck, especially if the adults around don’t seem to be taking you seriously.
Hang in there, and talk to your priest if it gets worse.
Hang in there, and talk to your priest if it gets worse.
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CharlesFulkerson
Guest
Ok Dude thanks for the advice. Yeah I’m just a freshman so I still have like 3 1/2 years. Its not too bad but its sort of annoying.
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DarkLight
Guest
No worries. I had some pretty major issues with my parents too. No siblings, but I was homeschooled and I had a lot of cases where I felt like I really had no idea what the rules were that I was in trouble for breaking. And it seemed like every mistake I made was obviously me being difficult or lazy. It really does get better. Just focus on doing what you can.
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Usige
Guest
Hahaha… I always said the best part of high school was graduating. All the rest? Not so much. At 25 years removed I can look past some of the hurt and bitterness, but I’ll never wax nostalgic for those day
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