Uncertain Uncharitable Thoughts

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Melodeonist

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I get these from time to time. Today I was playing music at a nursing home for some wonderful elderly and disabled people. It’s hard to control your thoughts when you are playing music. You can’t focus on playing too much or you’ll screw up, so you have to let your mind wander. Unfortunately, my mind wandered into the uncharitable field. I had some very cruel thoughts about the people and how they looked/acted and some horrible racist thoughts too. I don’t want these thoughts. I definitely am not a racist or a mean person. It’s in the mind though that I struggle with these thoughts.

I tried to get rid of them but they kept coming back. I don’t know if I consented, but at times I felt like I did and was continuing the thoughts.

Grrrr. This gets on my nerves. These thoughts probably stem from my being raised by the internet. Please help!
 
Hey, Mel…

You didn’t consent to these thoughts so give your self a break, for crying out loud. Man, you are just too hard on your self!

When I have difficult thoughts (like, for example, impure thoughts about a priest - during mass 😳 ) I try to say a quick ‘Hail Mary’ or Saint Michael Prayer. It helps - a little - to clear those thoughts and to chase away the evil source.

Be at peace.
 
Yeah our brain is a wonderful thing, but sometimes it does not co-oparate properly with our desires.
Its a part of the body like any other so yes, it sometimes does things you don’t want it to.
I get bad thoughts sometimes too like for example, I am going to go get communion and suddenly my mind connects the thoughts of (communion=no sin) with (no sin=in danger of sin) which then leads to my brain wandering away and saying (yay lets think of swearing as you are going to recieve communion ) I don’t want it to do that.
Thats why it usually isn’t considered a bad thing if you have theese thoughts, as long as you dont act with them. (Its like the homosexuality argument all over again )
Sociology teaches that how we act is depandant also on the people with hang out with. And the internet is a place filled with memes and other things where our minds juggle from one thing to the other as we are scrolling down our feed. So I would say yes, the interent might be playing a large part. I think its important to not let those thoughts get to you, just continue doing what you do with those thoughts in mind and over time you will forget them. Don’t forcefully try to forget them, as that will lead on more focus on that.
If you are having thoughts about murdering someone out of random, you might need to check a doctor or something, since my friend has similliar sympthoms and was told it was because of depression. Either way, just watch what you do , not what you think.
 
Go to your campus counseling center.

I’ve worked on several colleges–traditional, community, 4-year non-traditional. I’ve been to conferences with backwoods ultra-religious 600 enrollment colleges.

They all had counseling centers.

You NEED face to face advice. Please, please, please.

You are suffering needlessly.
 
Sorry you are suffering this. Using an ejaculatory prayer. Jesus, mercy Mary help
 
I suffer from this also, and I agree that it mostly comes from the internet and our generation of “trash talking”.

I used to be more harsh to myself. I hated myself for thinking this way to other people. I hit myself on the head, pinch my own ears, was afraid I commited sin, etc.

I’ve also read alot of things and spoke with alot of people. And what I’ve learned is that most people also get negative thoughts (about themselves, others, people they love, and sometimes God or other spiritual people) from time to time, and it won’t stop till your brain shuts off and you’re 6 feet under.

My best advice would be that you shouldn’t beat yourself up too hard. I learned that the hard way. You didn’t give consent to the thoughts, and you didn’t act upon them too (saying it out loud or actually enjoying the thought). I still get them from time to time also, and my reaction would probably be just dismissing the internal thought immediatly

Prayers definetly help too. Saying a hail mary or I personally like a made up prayer on the spot about what the uncharitable thought was.

I didn’t get a spiritual director, but I did talk about it with my family and some friends I trusted. It would have been solved much earlier if I got one though.

You’re not alone struggling in this. God bless and I hope this helped
 
As per your previous posts and discussions here on CAF you have scruples, anxiety, compulsive/intrusive thoughts, and anger issues.

Advice remains the same: spiritual direction from your priest or his recommendation for another, and counseling with a qualified mental health professional.

This is nothing to be ashamed of, but it is something that requires professional help.
 
Thoughts are not something you can control. Thoughts that just pop into your head especially.

It is somewhat hard going to a nursing home. People who live there are often sick and need special care. Often they can’t control what they say, and sometimes say things that are unkind or even vulgar

Getting an occasional unkind thought isn’t wrong, it’s not something you can control. As long as you don’t act upon them. You are doing a good thing by going to play music for them. You wouldn’t actually do or say anything unkind. Don’t worry about something you can’t control.
 
Why do all posters get told to go to a counsellor? These are just random, run of the mill thoughts flying about like the birds in the sky. Let them fly past, and get working on your goals. This is a First World problem. Use your intellect to solve real problems like how to ameliorate Syrian refugees into society, or how to reduce the number of abortions. To me, this is just your brain finding something to settle on so that it doesn’t have to do real work, a common reaction brought on by boredom, or fatigue.
 
Lara, many of us are quite familiar with the OP. I would suggest that you read his other posts to see where we are coming from.
 
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