Uncomfortable with headcovering and jewerly still

[katpants]

I STILL struggle with things from my former fundamentalist Baptist days. I would like to start head covering but it reminds me too much of the legalism I put myself through that fed my nervous breakdown.

I want to look pretty, but have a huge aversion to jewelry still and make up. I feel it’d be a “fake me” If I wore something like that.

HOW LONG does it take to lose the identity of a former fundie…because it’s really bugging me.

Anyone else felt this way?

Thanks!

Kat

 

[Della]

It takes time to adapt to new ways of thinking, behaving, so give yourself all time you need.

And you are right about head covering. It’s an option because it is merely a devotional, not a doctrinal practice. If it makes you uncomfortable, don’t wear one. If you want to cover your head a nice hat will do perfectly well. Catholic women haven’t always worn mantillas, except in Espanic cultures. So don’t let anyone pressure you into wearing one.

As for make-up and jewelry, again that’s a personal choice not anything to do with doctrine. Either, tastefully worn, are just fine. When I was young I didn’t need make-up, but now I wear some to emphasize my good features and downplay my bad ones, such as dark circles under my eyes. If others can tell you’re wearing make-up in ordinary situations, then too much has been used. That’s a simple criteria for applying it.

Jewelry, to my mind, ought to be fitting to the occasion. What I’d wear to a wedding or out shopping might be quite different from what I wear to Mass. A nice pair of earrings, maybe a brooch, or watch/bracelet are not going to cause scandal for anyone. As with any outift, it should enhance your personality and be pleasant to look at, but not gaudy or inappropriate at Mass. A nice pair of slacks and a blouse are fine, as well as a skirt or dress. Modesty is what is called for, and not drawing undue attention. At least that’s how I see it.

 

[DebChris]

As Della said, headcovering is optional.
There was a time when a woman did not enter a Catholic church without any type of headcovering. Contrary to modern opinion it was not necessarily a mantilla. It could be a simple hat or scarf. Actually efforts at compliance became so ridiculous that as women in society stopped wearing hats on a daily basis, they looked in their purses for anything that would work from handkerchiefs to Kleenex. I even heard that in some cases they even pinned gloves on their heads.
It is not until the 1960’s that the mantilla or a small chapel cap became popular as a simple and feminine alternate to meet the mandate to have something on the head when entering a church or chapel. Thankfully the legalism is gone. If you don’t want to wear anything, then don’t. If you want to wear a nice barrette in your hair, by all mean do so, or a nice hairband. The choice is yours. Dress as you feel is pleasing to the Lord without regard to what others may think.
I am not one to wear makeup, although occasionally I may. Again that is your choice.
Likewise I tend to forget to put on any jewelry.
God wants you as you are. The key to dressing properly for Mass, as Della stated, is modesty. Somehow I don’t think that’s an issue.

 

[Antegin]

Dressing for mass is not about showy hats, elegant mantillas or flashy jewelry. It’s about the importance of the mass in our lives and dressing accordingly. When I go to work or out to dinner, I don’t wear torn jeans, short shorts or tank tops.

When admonishing women to cover their head when in prayer, Paul was admonishing the hostess of a house church to wear her marriage veil (“cover her head”) because “church” was a public event and because respectable Roman women covered their heads in public. These Corinthian women were treating church like their private dinner parties. These dinners (convivia, or “wine parties”) were known for other immoral activities including dinner “escorts” (1 Cor 6), idol meat (1 Cor 8–10), adultery (1 Cor 10) and drunkenness (1 Cor 11). The issue was modesty, but not sexual modesty. These women were co-opting an activity about God for personal benefit. They were treating church as a social club. - See more at: toughquestionsanswered.org/2014/09/08/why-did-paul-tell-women-to-cover-their-heads/#sthash.0i7HlFE7.dpuf

So if we translated this into modern vernacular, Paul is demanding attire and deportment that reflects the sacred nature of the mass. It is a meal, but not a picnic or dinner theater.

 

[KendraDZ1902]

I know A LOT of Baptists. I am from a small town, graduated with only 80 something kids from high school and there are 5 Baptist churches, I don’t know any Baptist that doesn’t wear makeup/jewelry for religious reasons. I thought that was more of a Holiness/Pentecostal thing.

However, if you aren’t comfortable with it, don’t do it. There is nothing that says you HAVE to wear a headcovering, makeup, or jewelry.

 

[katpants]

Thanks for all the answers! I’m a former Torah Keeper/ Baptist…interesting mix of a group that was out there many years ago .

Kat

 

[AnneElizabeth]

…
There was a time when a woman did not enter a Catholic church without any type of headcovering. Contrary to modern opinion it was not necessarily a mantilla. It could be a simple hat or scarf. …

Something I never really understood was why women were supposed to cover their hair, because its her crown and glory, but then wear something beautiful like a lacy cloth or a fancy beautiful hat… doesn’t that defeat the purpose of covering one’s head in the first place? I thought head covering was supposed to be for humility, yet the fancy and stylish hats and pretty lacy things seem to scream “look at me!”. ??? Maybe that is where head covering went wrong? Maybe it was one of those things that kind of crept up on everyone so slowly or silently that no one recognized it was the wrong way of doing something that is holy. ?

 

[Della]

Something I never really understood was why women were supposed to cover their hair, because its her crown and glory, but then wear something beautiful like a lacy cloth or a fancy beautiful hat… doesn’t that defeat the purpose of covering one’s head in the first place? I thought head covering was supposed to be for humility, yet the fancy and stylish hats and pretty lacy things seem to scream “look at me!”. ??? Maybe that is where head covering went wrong? Maybe it was one of those things that kind of crept up on everyone so slowly or silently that no one recognized it was the wrong way of doing something that is holy. ?

Head coverings are not for humility, as if women needed to demonstrate humility more than men do. No, it was a part of canon law, due to a certain interpretation of St. Paul’s words and was always purely a disciplinary matter not a doctrinal one. The canon has been changed because it was never about women being more humble than men. Headcovering was a custom held over from ancient times that has no bearing on anyone’s spiritual state.

As for fancy hats, well there are plenty of ways people can attract undue attention through what they wear, men and women alike. The best thing is to dress nicely but modestly for Mass no matter who we are or what sex we are.

 

[AnneElizabeth]

Head coverings are not for humility, as if women needed to demonstrate humility more than men do. No, it was a part of canon law, due to a certain interpretation of St. Paul’s words and was always purely a disciplinary matter not a doctrinal one. The canon has been changed because it was never about women being more humble than men. Headcovering was a custom held over from ancient times that has no bearing on anyone’s spiritual state.

As for fancy hats, well there are plenty of ways people can attract undue attention through what they wear, men and women alike. The best thing is to dress nicely but modestly for Mass no matter who we are or what sex we are.

I’m not sure I’m understanding where you are coming from at all. Scripture plainly says that a woman (specifically) should cover her head “because of the angels”. I did not state anything about a woman needing to ‘demonstrate’ humility more than men, or that women should be more humble than men. It is written that men have their own prescription for that too. (not to cover their heads) I think what I was trying to say was that the custom can turn into a type of vanity, by dressing up, wanting to draw attention to the pretty hat one bought etc.

I hardly doubt that head covering was" just a custom" that has no bearing on anyone’s spiritual state… otherwise if that is the case, so is the Eucharist, or any other ‘customs’ that have been handed down for centuries. Why would it be said that a woman should cover her head “because of the angels” if there was no bearing on someone’s spiritual state? That makes no sense.

I never heard that the cannon was actually changed. I just heard it was basically dropped from being an issue. The Word of God will always be- it is not changed.

Sorry, but I just don’t understand where you are coming from at all. What do you make of the phrase in Scripture “because of the angels” as it relates to women head covering then? How does that fit what you said here? Can something be just a custom, but also should be done in respect to God’s heavenly hosts? ???

1 Corinthians 11:9-11 Roles in Worship
…9for indeed man was not created for the woman’s sake, but woman for the man’s sake. 10Therefore the woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels. 11However, in the Lord, neither is woman independent of man, nor is man independent of woman.…

 

[DebChris]

I’m not sure I’m understanding where you are coming from at all. Scripture plainly says that a woman (specifically) should cover her head “because of the angels”. I did not state anything about a woman needing to ‘demonstrate’ humility more than men, or that women should be more humble than men. It is written that men have their own prescription for that too. (not to cover their heads) I think what I was trying to say was that the custom can turn into a type of vanity, by dressing up, wanting to draw attention to the pretty hat one bought etc.

I hardly doubt that head covering was" just a custom" that has no bearing on anyone’s spiritual state… otherwise if that is the case, so is the Eucharist, or any other ‘customs’ that have been handed down for centuries. Why would it be said that a woman should cover her head “because of the angels” if there was no bearing on someone’s spiritual state? That makes no sense.

I never heard that the cannon was actually changed. I just heard it was basically dropped from being an issue. The Word of God will always be- it is not changed.

Sorry, but I just don’t understand where you are coming from at all. What do you make of the phrase in Scripture “because of the angels” as it relates to women head covering then? How does that fit what you said here? Can something be just a custom, but also should be done in respect to God’s heavenly hosts? ???

1 Corinthians 11:9-11 Roles in Worship
…9for indeed man was not created for the woman’s sake, but woman for the man’s sake. 10Therefore the woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels. 11However, in the Lord, neither is woman independent of man, nor is man independent of woman.…

When reading scripture, one needs to understand the audience. The city of Corinth was a seafaring city, much like San Francisco. It was known for its lewdness. If Paul were addressing Jews rather than Greeks, it is unlikely that he would have placed as much emphasis on dress or decorum during worship services. After all Jewish men wear a yarmulke during prayer. Just as Muslim women are known for wearing the hajib, there are some traditional Jewish sects in which the women continue to cover their heads on a daily basis.
Before following St. Francis into religious life, St. Clare was known for the beauty of her hair. It attracted her many followers. She cut off her beautiful locks before starting the order of the Poor Clares. One of the customs of some traditional convents for nuns taking final vows is to braid their long hair into a special crown before it is cut as an offering for our Lord.
Referring back to the O.T., St. Paul talked about the importance of long hair on women. Short hair on women also had a certain connotation in Corinth at that time.

The Eucharist was instituted by Christ and is dogma.