T
TruthSeekerForever
Guest
I’m sorry in advance that this is long and I also want to say that this is serious stuff please read at your own discretion.
Growing up I faced a lot of maltreatment at the hands of my parents. I was psychologically, spiritually, and physically abused. When I left home in my early 20’s, my parents went ballistic because they realized that I began to understand that they were abusive and that meant they couldn’t control me anymore. This is when the character assassination began. They first tried everything they could to guilt and shame me for gaining independence. I was “selfish, ungrateful, and immature” for choosing what I wanted to do with my life (which was to get married to a very honorable Catholic man) because it did not align with their vision for me (which would have been living under their roof to give them constant narcissistic supply). After I left home and the blame shifting, and manipulation didn’t work, they started spreading lies about me and my husband. I have heard from the grapevine (extended family) what they are saying and it is insane. I even get random letters from people I knew from church (but were not close to) and other family members (I was not close to) telling me how amazing and incredible they are. Little do those individuals know the times they hit me in the face as a child or didn’t bring me to the hospital when I broke a bone or the times they made me feel worthless and like I was going to hell for disagreeing with them (and these times don’t even scratch the surface of what I went through).
I highly suspect they have some level of narcissism going on, though I would not be surprised if they had full-blown NPD. Because of them, they have turned everyone I knew (before I left home) “against” me. They tell everyone I am the crazy one, or that I am bratty or that I am just trying to get back at them because they disciplined me or that my husband is abusive (which is the worst IMO). Sometimes they play the “you’re a sinner” card which is ironic since they think they are perfect. They are very crafty in their stories, so they know how to manipulate each person they talk to.
So my concern right now is, how do I pick up the pieces and start my life over again with my husband? I’m starting counseling, but I have lost everything I had before I was married. They have all my belongings (wedding gifts, bridal shower gifts clothes, etc.). I lost all the people I knew, and they turned all my extended family against me. I honestly don’t even know who I am, because they stole that too. I guess I just need some encouragement right now. I honestly feel like they murdered me without killing me. I have PTSD right now from everything I went through, so I’m not even sure how soon I will be able to work and pay bills like my monstrous college debt. I’m a mess. I couldn’t sleep last night because I have memories flashing back in my mind.
(continued)
Growing up I faced a lot of maltreatment at the hands of my parents. I was psychologically, spiritually, and physically abused. When I left home in my early 20’s, my parents went ballistic because they realized that I began to understand that they were abusive and that meant they couldn’t control me anymore. This is when the character assassination began. They first tried everything they could to guilt and shame me for gaining independence. I was “selfish, ungrateful, and immature” for choosing what I wanted to do with my life (which was to get married to a very honorable Catholic man) because it did not align with their vision for me (which would have been living under their roof to give them constant narcissistic supply). After I left home and the blame shifting, and manipulation didn’t work, they started spreading lies about me and my husband. I have heard from the grapevine (extended family) what they are saying and it is insane. I even get random letters from people I knew from church (but were not close to) and other family members (I was not close to) telling me how amazing and incredible they are. Little do those individuals know the times they hit me in the face as a child or didn’t bring me to the hospital when I broke a bone or the times they made me feel worthless and like I was going to hell for disagreeing with them (and these times don’t even scratch the surface of what I went through).
I highly suspect they have some level of narcissism going on, though I would not be surprised if they had full-blown NPD. Because of them, they have turned everyone I knew (before I left home) “against” me. They tell everyone I am the crazy one, or that I am bratty or that I am just trying to get back at them because they disciplined me or that my husband is abusive (which is the worst IMO). Sometimes they play the “you’re a sinner” card which is ironic since they think they are perfect. They are very crafty in their stories, so they know how to manipulate each person they talk to.
So my concern right now is, how do I pick up the pieces and start my life over again with my husband? I’m starting counseling, but I have lost everything I had before I was married. They have all my belongings (wedding gifts, bridal shower gifts clothes, etc.). I lost all the people I knew, and they turned all my extended family against me. I honestly don’t even know who I am, because they stole that too. I guess I just need some encouragement right now. I honestly feel like they murdered me without killing me. I have PTSD right now from everything I went through, so I’m not even sure how soon I will be able to work and pay bills like my monstrous college debt. I’m a mess. I couldn’t sleep last night because I have memories flashing back in my mind.
(continued)