Unkind Thought and Mortal Sin

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Thanks for the support Vico, the stress over worrying about all this can actual make me feel physically spent.

Joseph,

I don’t feel equipped to confidently say whether it was a distinct sin or not, but I am bent toward thinking it was venial due to it’s judgmental and unkind nature.

Thanks
 
Whenever I feel I’m not in the state of grace, I don’t receive Communion. Sometimes it’s embarrassing because I’m the only one in a small group at Mass who is not receiving but I feel it’s better than committing a sacrilege!
 
Hi friend

do you have scrupulousanonymous? It’s very helpful, coming from someone who has scruples.
 
Hi Praise Christ,

I do have some of the newsletters downloaded from Scrupulous Anonymous.

There is definitely some welcome advice in there and comforting to hear that others have dealt with similar concerns so it’s not just you as some anomaly.

Are you a convert? I feel some of my scruples are due to me getting used to the new way of living which is Catholic.

Thanks.
 
Sorry for the delay, I grew up catholic but was more of a naturalist, later in around 2014 I became more religious, but developed scruples
 
Hey PraiseChrist,

Thanks for the reply, what would you say is the root cause of your scruples?

Not understanding the Church’s teaching well enough on moral issues (because that’s what I’m currently working through).

God bless, hope all is well.
 
The root cause of my scruples was being poorly catechized, not listening to my confessors, lack of obedience, and too much trust in myself to avoid sin, than in grace.
If left untreated, scruples can lead to despair, so it’s important to not trust in ourselves, but in our confessors. If necessary, a catholic psychologist can help, since there may be depression that develops, which is not a spiritual problem but a psychological problem.
Indeed, scruples is awful. St John of the Cross said that lack of trust in the confessor (not scruples itself) is a lack of faith, since he said that “he who hears you hears me”.
🙂
 
Hey there,

I could see how those things would contribute to scruples.

Not knowing the answer to a moral question can cause that fear and anxiety of doubt that scrupulosity feeds on.

And the other issues could make it worse too, I agree. You probably have more experience with that than me.

I really appreciate the Ask an Apologist section on this forum because it helps to clear up the doubt on a lot of issues, and you know it should be orthodox teaching on this site.

I have already noticed that it has helped me with my scruples. Has it for you?
 
NH93 said:
Hi Vico,

The issue is because I do think they knew what they were talking about, but in that moment I entertained the prideful judgmental thought that they didn’t.

I could tell in myself that it was not a charitable thought when it happened. I could feel that evil smirk pride feeling.
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the whole premise of this is not a sinful thought 🤷
 
If that’s a sin, I’m already damned.

Most people only think things because other people told them…

My saving grace is that I don’t hold grudges 🤷
 
NH93 said:
Hey there,

I could see how those things would contribute to scruples.

Not knowing the answer to a moral question can cause that fear and anxiety of doubt that scrupulosity feeds on.

And the other issues could make it worse too, I agree. You probably have more experience with that than me.

I really appreciate the Ask an Apologist section on this forum because it helps to clear up the doubt on a lot of issues, and you know it should be orthodox teaching on this site.

I have already noticed that it has helped me with my scruples. Has it for you?
Click to expand...
Hi,

Yes, it has helped, but they don’t take every question, so going to a spiritual director outside of confession would help. Obviously, that’ll take a lot of time scheduling an appointment, which is why st alphonsus liguori would wear out his priests because of his scruples. So I think it’s best to go to a director, preferrably outside of confession, to clear out problems.
If necessary, a catholic therpaist would help, if this is extreme. These things don’t leave easily, but they can be lessened greatly
 
Hey,

Yeah I agree, some questions are not present.

I think I may want to look into getting a spiritual director about my questions.

It would be nice to have the Pope always available to call up about an issue! Haha

Fortunately, I know a couple priests personally as friends, so I could message them if need be about an issue.

I’m sure you probably have, but I have been asking for the intercession of St. Alphonsus Ligouri, St. Ignatius of Loyola, and St. Maximillian Kolbe (he had a bad bout of scruples in his life) for help.

Some of my scruples right now are centering around obeying the speed limit (never going over it even by some mph), whether watching a movie that has a good message, but contains some problematic material would be sinful to watch, and trying to understand when talking becomes gossip or detraction.

In Christ,

Neil
 
NH93 said:
Hey,

Yeah I agree, some questions are not present.

I think I may want to look into getting a spiritual director about my questions.

It would be nice to have the Pope always available to call up about an issue! Haha

Fortunately, I know a couple priests personally as friends, so I could message them if need be about an issue.

I’m sure you probably have, but I have been asking for the intercession of St. Alphonsus Ligouri, St. Ignatius of Loyola, and St. Maximillian Kolbe (he had a bad bout of scruples in his life) for help.

Some of my scruples right now are centering around obeying the speed limit (never going over it even by some mph), whether watching a movie that has a good message, but contains some problematic material would be sinful to watch, and trying to understand when talking becomes gossip or detraction.

In Christ,

Neil
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Dear Neil,

I also have the same problems with scruples and obeying the speed limit, discerning what movies to watch, and what makes detraction. I also have trouble with doing my school work, thinking that it may be a sin to say something against the Church in history, or reading a book for English that might be impure, or something else.
Though you may not have Pope Francis as your director, or some bishop, God can easily provide you a good one.
If you have a good religious order near you, you can ask for spiritual direction there (my Pastor’s advice) or if your pastor is free.
Indeed, just about every saint had a good director/companion in the spiritual life.
It’s very good to pray to saints to help with scruples. It’s also good to build a fervent devotion to Mary. I need to work on this of course, but St Louis de Montfort said that those who have a strong devotion to Mary won’t have scrupulosity–I just remembered that.
 
Hello again,

Thanks for telling me about your sharing the same issues. They can be hard to work through since the mind always finds loopholes in order to make you feel like you’re justifying evil.

A priest gave me some good advice at a confession of mine: he said to ask God to purify that which was good in my scruples (caring about right and wrong) but to discard what is bad (worrying so much that your spiritual joy is sapped). And he reminded me that God knows my heart and that is what He cares about.

I realize that there can still be scruples with that advice, but I thought it was nice advice all the same.

I think I will try and look into a spiritual director, but then again I have already been talking to one of my priest friends about my scruples so perhaps he could be my director.

Thank you for the advice about praying to Mary. I have been praying for her intercession in all of this. It is nice to know that their are people in heaven, untainted by sin, who are praying for you.

Would you say you have made progress with your scruples at all from when you first got them?
 
NH93 said:
Hello again,

Thanks for telling me about your sharing the same issues. They can be hard to work through since the mind always finds loopholes in order to make you feel like you’re justifying evil.

A priest gave me some good advice at a confession of mine: he said to ask God to purify that which was good in my scruples (caring about right and wrong) but to discard what is bad (worrying so much that your spiritual joy is sapped). And he reminded me that God knows my heart and that is what He cares about.

I realize that there can still be scruples with that advice, but I thought it was nice advice all the same.

I think I will try and look into a spiritual director, but then again I have already been talking to one of my priest friends about my scruples so perhaps he could be my director.

Thank you for the advice about praying to Mary. I have been praying for her intercession in all of this. It is nice to know that their are people in heaven, untainted by sin, who are praying for you.

Would you say you have made progress with your scruples at all from when you first got them?
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Yes and no.

Yes in the sense that I now know that I cleared up some uncertainties by studying more about the Faith.
No in the sense that I sometimes disobey my confessors, or constantly think I have to redo every confession in my life, and this can lead me to despair and give up religion.

I think obedience in literally everything is the way
 
Hey PraiseChrist,

Thanks again for your reply. I’m glad you’ve made some progress with some of your scruples.

Every one resolved is a step towards more peace of mind.

I think I can relate about the despair part - I had an episode a week or so ago where I felt that way.

But with the scruples, you can feel like you’re never doing anything right and then be lead to the despair. I understand what you’re saying there.

Why do you think you disobey your confessors? Because you think they aren’t saying orthodox advice?

In Christ,

Neil
 
NH93 said:
Hey PraiseChrist,

Thanks again for your reply. I’m glad you’ve made some progress with some of your scruples.

Every one resolved is a step towards more peace of mind.

I think I can relate about the despair part - I had an episode a week or so ago where I felt that way.

But with the scruples, you can feel like you’re never doing anything right and then be lead to the despair. I understand what you’re saying there.

Why do you think you disobey your confessors? Because you think they aren’t saying orthodox advice?

In Christ,

Neil
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Yes, because I don’t think that they’re saying orthodox advice. But to find a holy and learned confessor and obeying completely no matter what is enough. I think that finding a priest from the Fraternity of St Peter is also very good, as the priests from this society tend to be very orthodox. There are good priests who offer the Novus Ordo (Ordinary Form) Mass, but I really am impressed by the FSSP.
 
I have heard of the FSSP, they are in full communion with Rome? Yes?

I know the SSPX is not.

Do they have many churches?
 
NH93 said:
I have heard of the FSSP, they are in full communion with Rome? Yes?

I know the SSPX is not.

Do they have many churches?
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The FSSP is indeed in full communion with Rome. Hopefully, the SSPX will one day also be in full communion.

The FSSP has a good amount of churches.
Here’s a list from their site on their church locations:
fssp.org/en/messes.htm
 
Hey cool, thanks for the links!

I think I’d probably enjoy attending a Mass at one of their parishes. 🙂
 
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