Unmarried Protestant Pastor, Seeking a Job, Sees Bias

[Dale_M]

[M]r. Almlie, despite a sterling education and years of experience, has faced an obstacle that does not exist in most professions: He is a single pastor, in a field where those doing the hiring overwhelmingly prefer married people and, especially, married men with children.

Mr. Almlie, 37, has been shocked, he says, at what he calls unfair discrimination, based mainly on irrational fears: that a single pastor cannot counsel a mostly married flock, that he might sow turmoil by flirting with a church member, or that he might be gay. If the job search is hard for single men, it is doubly so for single women who train for the ministry, in part because many evangelical denominations explicitly require a man to lead the congregation.

Mr. Almlie, an ordained evangelical minister who lives in Petaluma, Calif., has also had to contend with the argument, which he disputes with scriptural citations of his own, that the Bible calls for married leaders. “Prejudice against single pastors abounds,” Mr. Almlie wrote in articles he posted on a popular Christian blog site in January and February, setting off a wide-ranging debate online on a topic that many said has been largely ignored.

nytimes.com/2011/03/22/us/22pastor.html

Does Mr. Almlie have a point? He says that search committees often use code words to indicate their preference, such as “seeking a Biblical man” (which would mean a husband and a provider.)

An emeritus professor of religion at Duke Divinity School says that this phenomenon has intensified during the past 50 years, with Evangelicals worried about threats to the family and wanting to be sure their pastor will present a wholesome image.

 

[GeorgeTheWild]

He’s not wrong in that many search committees are only looking for married men. When my Church has looked for new pastors, I’m fairly certain it exclusively looked for married men. Like Mr. Almlie says, I think the preference towards married men arises from the following ideas.

1. The idea that a married man is less likely to engage in sexual sin (adultery with married women of the congregation or inappropriate conduct with the youth or children of the congregation.)
2. A married pastor is essentially a two for one deal because his wife is almost always very involved in Church activities.
3. They mesh with the community better which is usually made up mostly of families with a minority percentage of singles.

 

[JohnnyReb]

I think he has a valid point: Here is why. I have experienced the repercussions of this first hand. When I graduated from seminary, starting with the 6 months before all the way until 3 years after, I put in at least 500 resumes and applications to churches across the denominational field.

I came close a couple times to finding that one place to minister. On about 5 occassions, I was a finalist for the job, but would always be passed over for someone “more experienced”. One of the first questions many churches ask (which is illegal to ask, buy the way) was about my marital status. Often times, when my qualifications where reviewed, the churches would be on me like white on rice. Then if I told them I was single, I could almost sense the disappointment through the phone.

I couple of friends of mine that are also single have had similar experiences. The thing is, its not always been this way. My mom, aunts and uncles don’t get it, because they remember that in small country churches growing up, there would often be the young single pastors right out of school doing ministry, or that in larger churches, there would be single men on staff in a variety of roles along with other married ministers. So I do think this is a recent development of the last few decades.

I can’t tell you how many pastoral ads for jobs I have seen that said they specifically wanted a married couple. The only offer I got was an unpaid position in Alaska. The pastor offered to let me stay with him until I found work. I would have taken it, but decided to move back home to help my disabled mother after my dad passed from cancer. So I have come to accept this as God’s will. I had to give up alot of bitterness and resentment towards Christian institutions. I studied hard and have a heart of people, but there seems to be no place for single people in church leadership (I mean in Protestantism). Actually as a whole, single 20 somethings and 30 somethings are being missed by the church as a whole. We are one of the fastest growing demographics in America, but churches really seem to miss us for a variety of reasons.

 

[puzzleannie]

I t I studied hard and have a heart of people, but there seems to be no place for single people in church leadership (I mean in Protestantism). Actually as a whole, single 20 somethings and 30 somethings are being missed by the church as a whole. We are one of the fastest growing demographics in America, but churches really seem to miss us for a variety of reasons.

could God be calling you to create a ministry for this under-served group in your denomination?

 

[Jerusha]

Perhaps a denomination which is closer to Catholicism and the teachings of the New Testament on single celibacy might do you better; Methodist, Anglican, Lutheran, EO etc. Or perhaps conversion to Catholicism?

 

[JohnnyReb]

could God be calling you to create a ministry for this under-served group in your denomination?

Perhaps, and probably he is of others too. 20 somethings and 30 somethings are the most missing group in most churchs both Catholic and Protestant, especially those who are single. They used to come back once they had kids, but that is starting to change.

 

[meltzerboy]

He’s not wrong in that many search committees are only looking for married men. When my Church has looked for new pastors, I’m fairly certain it exclusively looked for married men. Like Mr. Almlie says, I think the preference towards married men arises from the following ideas.

1. The idea that a married man is less likely to engage in sexual sin (adultery with married women of the congregation or inappropriate conduct with the youth or children of the congregation.)
2. A married pastor is essentially a two for one deal because his wife is almost always very involved in Church activities.
3. They mesh with the community better which is usually made up mostly of families with a minority percentage of singles.

Protestantism may also have been influenced by the teachings of Torah Judaism regarding this issue. Celibacy among men in general is frowned upon in Torah Judaism, because it is believed that a man is incomplete without a wife, based on the story of Adam and Eve in the Bible. And, along the same line (“Be fruitful and multiply”), not only marriage is essential but children. And for a rabbi to be unmarried and without a family is doubly frowned upon.

 

[4Squarebaby]

Protestantism may also have been influenced by the teachings of Torah Judaism regarding this issue. Celibacy among men in general is frowned upon in Torah Judaism, because it is believed that a man is incomplete without a wife, based on the story of Adam and Eve in the Bible. And, along the same line (“Be fruitful and multiply”), not only marriage is essential but children. And for a rabbi to be unmarried and without a family is doubly frowned upon.

And thus is an argument for Saint Paul being a widower. Since as Saul he would have had no power to persucute the Church since others would have seen him as not leadership material.

 

[gmcbroom]

Hmmmmm…perhaps Catholism, Anglicanism, or the Orthodox Church may be an option. The pay isn’t the same of course but then going into ministry for the money never works. my brothers old minister did that and now he’s(the minister) grown bitter and left the church.

 

[Hboggs]

As a former Southern Baptist for 30 odd years, I seem to remember NO single men being considered for pastor at the FBC I attended with my family.

I wonder if any of these single men with excellent theological backgrounds have given any thought to becoming Catholic and then possibly a Priest? (I.E. Coming Home Network.)

Maybe God has a plan and just hasn’t informed them yet:

 

[JohnnyReb]

As a former Southern Baptist for 30 odd years, I seem to remember NO single men being considered for pastor at the FBC I attended with my family.

I wonder if any of these single men with excellent theological backgrounds have given any thought to becoming Catholic and then possibly a Priest? (I.E. Coming Home Network.)

Maybe God has a plan and just hasn’t informed them yet:

If God finds a way to overcome my massive school loan debt, sure. I mean our God is a God of miracles. Shortly after I was confirmed in the CC, my Catholic relatives ribbed me about becoming a priest. Frankly I was scared of that. Too much responsibility, and I am and would be so unworthy. Of course I would need to return to the church, but I am considering that anyway.

 

[Alexander_Roman]

I’ve never heard of a celibate Protestant pastor (unless High Anglican etc.).

Perhaps he truly does have a calling to the Latin Catholic Church as a priest and should investigate this!

I’m surprised he hasn’t already been branded as a papist by his confreres!

Alex

 

[Hboggs]

If God finds a way to overcome my massive school loan debt, sure. I mean our God is a God of miracles. Shortly after I was confirmed in the CC, my Catholic relatives ribbed me about becoming a priest. Frankly I was scared of that. Too much responsibility, and I am and would be so unworthy. Of course I would need to return to the church, but I am considering that anyway.

First of all, tought game for VCU tonight.

I have read where people with large student loans have been “taken care of” by either individuals, dioceses, seminaries or combinations of the above. God does work miracles.

I’ll pray things work out.

 

[JohnnyReb]

First of all, tought game for VCU tonight.

I have read where people with large student loans have been “taken care of” by either individuals, dioceses, seminaries or combinations of the above. God does work miracles.

I’ll pray things work out.

I hope we beat Kansas tomorrow but I am happy we came this far regardless of what happens. I can’t believe we made the final 8.

 

[Dale_M]

I’ve never heard of a celibate Protestant pastor (unless High Anglican etc.).

I wonder if maybe “celibate” isn’t the right word. I would think most conservative denominations would expect an unmarried pastor to be be celibate, since sex outside of marriage is fornication.

I think the real issue is marriage vs the single life. In the case of the man mentioned in the NYT article, he is 38 years old which is getting up there. I suppose the possibility is real that he will never marry, or if he does, will not have children due to the age of his wife. And that is the sticking point.

I seem to recall that US Protestant denominations which currently allow gay or lesbian clergy did so incrementally. First, it was to be secret. Then, if the sexual orientation of the pastor was public knowledge, they were expected to be celibate.