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KCT
Guest
Why do you think people give unsolicited advice?
I’m sure there are many reasons. What do you think?
I’m sure there are many reasons. What do you think?
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anna1978
Guest
My MIL always says she is ‘only trying to help’, so I’d go with well-meaning!
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KCT
Guest
A solicited opinionAre you asking for my opinion or for my advice?
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francesca_gen
Guest
If you figure it out, let me know. My mom did it all the time and my aunt, her younger sister, does too. My mom’s family also has a penchant for sharing stuff I ask them not to. For instance, I can’t stand stories of animal death or of husbands being mean to wives. They will start to tell something on one of these subjects I know ends badly, ask them to stop, and they’ll say, “Oh but” and keep going. ACK!
I guess it depends on the person. Some people are well-meaning, some people are overbearing, some people are clueless.
Francesca
I guess it depends on the person. Some people are well-meaning, some people are overbearing, some people are clueless.
Francesca
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LongingForLight
Guest
I’ve found two basic reasons:
They are the kind of person who always loves to hear advice, so they assume you want to hear it. In other words, well-meaning.
Or.
They think, at some level, that you are too stupid / young / naive / blindly Catholic (oops, that got a bit specific there ) to do the right thing, so they’d better tell you what the right thing is. Often this is still well-meaning as well as patronizing, and I actually get this most often from elders who really care about me . . . but the underlying opinion still grates, and these are often the sort of people who get upset if you don’t take their advice. When total strangers do this, however, I have trouble believing that they aren’t being at least a little self-righteous.
They are the kind of person who always loves to hear advice, so they assume you want to hear it. In other words, well-meaning.
Or.
They think, at some level, that you are too stupid / young / naive / blindly Catholic (oops, that got a bit specific there
) to do the right thing, so they’d better tell you what the right thing is. Often this is still well-meaning as well as patronizing, and I actually get this most often from elders who really care about me . . . but the underlying opinion still grates, and these are often the sort of people who get upset if you don’t take their advice. When total strangers do this, however, I have trouble believing that they aren’t being at least a little self-righteous.
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puzzleannie
Guest
because they mistake a comment or story you relate as an appeal for help or advice
because they think they have some authority or duty toward you (parent, MIL for instance) and that their (name removed by moderator)ut will always be welcome
because they see you about to make a mistake and want to stop it
because in the past they have given you welcome advice and now are in the habit
because they have control issues
because they have some need, rooted in a disorder in their own personality, to appear more knowledgeable and competent than others
because they had a good experience in this regard and feel eager to share with others (ever been around someone who lost a lot of weight or stopped smoking?)
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