Unsure what to think of these desires

[TheDumbFox]

Hello all! My apologies for making this type of post, I usually do not like to talk about myself or about issues of sexuality like this but it seems like no one else can help me. I’m kind of embarrassed and am thinking about deleting this later if possible…

Generally what the deal is, is that I am currently discerning religious life. I strongly believe that the religious brotherhood might be where God is calling me. My problem is, is that I’ve never really been the most pure. Now, I have been working on this, and with God’s grace am doing really great. Yet, although I am refraining from unchastity in my body, I still find myself deeply desiring those privlages that come from being in a committed relationship, such as kissing, cuddling, hand-holding etc. And the thought of not sharing that with another person makes me very sad.

To be honest, yes some of that maybe does come from lust, but another part comes from what I believe to be generally good desires. When I begin to miss these, as stated I become sad, I feel empty and my thoughts typically become those of frustration as it is in conflict with my possible religious vocation.

My question is: What should I do with these feelings/desires, and where do I need to be as far as ‘emotional chastity’ before I enter a religious order? I am still trusting that if God plans for me to embrace celibacy, then I will find fulfillment.

Thanks, and God Bless

 

[CRV]

After reading your post - are you really sure that religious life is what God wants?? Because that doesn’t come across that it is. In fact, the opposite seems to me to be where God is trying to lead you - to the vocation of marriage. Where ones thoughts are 99% of the time, what the heart desires, generally indicate the path God wants. So if someone is thinking of a close relationship with another , about pretty girls or one girl in particular (if you’re a she, then please substitute a boy or boys in the above words), wants to have a family someday, thinks and wishes to grow old with someone, longs for a commited relationship and the sexual intimacy that comes with marriage - that would indicate where your vocation lies.

A ‘test’ to discern a matter was recommended to me once. For 3 days you make a FIRM decision to ____, and do not waver in that decision, do your utmost not to waiver and think along other lines. Then for the next 3 days, make a FIRM decision not to ____. And see how you feel, what your thoughts are, what happens during each of those times.

When I begin to miss these, as stated I become sad, I feel empty and my thoughts typically become those of frustration

very much as you have here, which would indicate to me that that is where your path lies - in marriage. If picturing all these good desires lifts your heart and makes you feel content, happy, positive - in other words the opposite to the above - again that seem pretty clear to me where your vocation lies, and this doesn’t indicate religious .

Here are St. Ignatius’ 8 rules for the discernment of spirits

Discerning Gods’ Will

 

[Guest1]

Pray about discerning your vocations and ask the saints for their prayers concerning this.

Please speak to a priest about this and if you can look up “vocation director” maybe one can assist you.

 

[JHFamily]

Seems to me that you need more time to become purified and healed. The physical parts have been taken care of, but not the spiritual/emotional desires. It takes time. Then, you will be in a better be in a position to discern. You are simply not ready for either marriage or religious life.