Unusual Mantilla question

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Unusual mantilla question. So I attend the NO and just started wearing a mantilla. I’m often the only one at my particular Mass who wears one. Next weekend my Protestant in laws are coming to Mass with us. Would you ditch the mantilla to help them feel “welcome” and not like you expect them to find a head covering too? It feels like the ecumenical thing to do… and also like ditching something important to me just because of how it MIGHT make someone feel. If I worried the rest of the Sunday’s about how others “felt” about my mantilla I might never wear it. But this (Mass with my MIL) feels different. I can’t put my finger on why.

Thoughts?
 
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How is not wearing a mantilla going to make them feel welcome? From what you say, you are the only one wearing one. It’s not like they will feel like the only one not wearing one. I am not sure there is any problem here.
 
No, I’d say, “I cover my head at Mass and I can get you a covering that is the kind that will look like what those of us who wear this kind of thing wear, but it isn’t required and most of the women at my church don’t wear one. You can do whatever makes you comfortable. The chances are pretty high that at this Mass I will be the only woman wearing one. That doesn’t bother me, but I thought I should give you the whole picture.”

I’d also ask them if they have any questions before Mass and reassure them that it is totally OK to be at Mass and not know what you’re doing, that non-Catholics are welcome. (You’d better explain the matter of Holy Communion, if you have not, of course.)
 
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The problem nowadays is far too many times we’ve bent the knee to do the “ecumenical” thing. We’ve lost our Catholic identity.

You should not compromise your Catholic identity for the sake of pleasing human beings, even if they are your in laws. You should focus first and foremost on pleasing God and giving glory to Him.

Our Lord said: “He who puts his hand on the plow and looks back is not worthy of me”.

Being a Catholic means carrying our cross because the world despises us. But we must remember we are not of this world, but by virtue of our baptism and confirmation we are citizens of heaven, and we should always focus on that.

The Catholic Church is the one true Church. And your in laws are coming to Her. “When in Rome”, they should be accommodating your Faith, not the other way around. Show them what being Catholic really is all about, and when you see a woman veiled in the sanctuary, you know the Real Presence is there.

Who cares if they think you’re “weird”, it’s a cross to bear, and one that will surely please God.
 
I wouldn’t ditch it. It’s a reminder to everyone that there is something v different about a Catholic church. I see more ladies wearing them than before although it’s still not a high number. I started a while ago and try not to worry about what people might think though sometimes I do. But they might not be thinking anything of course. Your mum in law might ask you why and it’s an opportunity to explain what is so sacred about a Catholic church
 
I was the only one in our church to wear one but now there was actually two of us
I was proud to wear mine in front of my non religious parents.
 
Since you “just started” wearing a mantilla at Mass, I imagine that your in-laws have not criticized you for doing so. In that case, and assuming that your relationship with them is generally good, don’t hesitate to wear a mantilla at Mass but do be prepared to answer any questions that they might have. 🙂

Under most circumstances, I’m not a fan of modifying legitimate behavior to avoid conflict that may not arise. On the other hand, I wouldn’t advise anyone to insist upon maintaining a non-obligatory practice if doing so carries a high risk of aggravating relationships that are already delicate. Since I don’t know how well you get along with your in-laws, I don’t have concrete advice to offer. But if your relationship is good then I see no reason to change what you do.

For the record, I cover my head with something at all forms of Mass and would not change that for any member of my family, blood or in-law (I am married to a Protestant so none of the latter are Catholic). However, everyone knows that I do this. It would provoke more questions if I chose not to 😀
 
I wear my veil with my protestant visitors, without them, I explain it is a personal expression of piety.
 
Easy: ditch it for one Sunday. It’s a question of etiquette, not religion. You should always try to make guests feel welcome. That should be your first priority. If you have any doubt, what do you think Jesus would do?
 
You aren’t wrong either way, so do what you think is best at the time.
 
It depends. They won’t feel unwelcome per se if you wear one, because it is not as if they will be the only ones there without headcoverings. But if you feel weird about wearing it with them along or don’t feel up to trying to explain what it is, it’s not wrong to ditch it. If you do want to wear it, you could take the opportunity to explain a little about what it is and why you wear it. You could also explain that up until recent decades, all Catholic women covered their head in some way while in church; and though the custom is no longer mandatory and was largely dropped for a long time, it is making a small comeback (though perhaps not in your particular parish).

As the poster above, said, neither choice is wrong. Another option is to wear a hat or other headcovering that is less “veil-like.”
 
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PetraG said:
No, I’d say, “I cover my head at Mass and I can get you a covering that is the kind that will look like what those of us who wear this kind of thing wear, but it isn’t required and most of the women at my church don’t wear one. You can do whatever makes you comfortable. The chances are pretty high that at this Mass I will be the only woman wearing one. That doesn’t bother me, but I thought I should give you the whole picture.”
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This ^^^^^
 
You might also consider wearing a simple chapel veil, scarf, hat or headband in lieu of a mantilla.
 
Thanks, all. I’ll probably wear it. My in laws won’t ask. They’re very private people. They’re also very not-practicing Protestants. I know they won’t ask questions. I suppose since I’m new to this I’m just worried I’ll look really weird to them. But They’ll never say if I do. I just need to get over some lingering feelings of self-consciousness!
 
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