Unwanted (Impure) thoughts during prayer

[anglicanconvert]

I feel horribly embarrassed about this but I feel like I need to discuss this with other devoted Catholics. I have not always been a Catholic or even a religious person. In my “past life” as a pagan, I have viewed pornography pictures and videos. Recently while praying the rosary in Eucharistic Adoration, looking at an icon of Mary, I had a horrible picture in my head of Mary (I cannot hardly even mention this!!) in one of those videos. I’ve avoided saying the rosary and even thinking about our Holy Mother. I’ve prayed to Jesus and Mary, asking for forgiveness. I’ve considered confessing this in reconciliation but I’m too affraid what the priest will think. I know it’s not coming from me, as I would never disgrace God and our Mother that way, but I still feel horrible about it. I’m affraid to ever say the rosary again, but I love the prayer and strongly believe it can be a great source of grace. Any suggestions?

 

[Seabass]

Thank you for posting this. I have been having this problem. I am relieved to see that I am not alone in this. It reminds me of that game ‘The Game’. You know, the one where it is simply if you think about ‘The Game’ you have to announce you lost ‘The Game’. And if anyone asks about ‘The Game’ you have to tell them the rules of ‘The Game’. So long as you are not thinking about ‘The Game’ you are winning ‘The Game’. As soon as you think about ‘The Game’ you have lost ‘The Game’ and must announce that you have lost ‘The Game’. Then everyone else around you who knows about ‘The Game’ is reminded of ‘The Game’ and so they also lose ‘The Game’. But as a courtesy to all divinity and the less afflicted imaginations it is my advise that this issue should be able to be sought out online for people who are concerned about it but that it should not be openly discussed for the sake of avoiding spreading this kind of ugly imagining. Hmm, hopefully that wasn’t too wordy and made sense. May God bless you and keep you and yours, amen.