unwed guests

[mfinnegan]

I’m in need of some advice or encouragement.

My husband’s sister and her fiance have come to stay with us for 2 weeks. I asked my husband to kindly mention that we would like for them to sleep is separate rooms. Well he did, and now she has stomped off to her room and my husband has accused me of ruining her vacation. He went on to say that I am in the wrong and that it is ok for them to sleep in the same bed because they are already living together.He said more hurtful things but I dont want to be redundant. Any advice would be very appreciated.

 

[kage_ar]

This is after the fact, but, the sleeping arrangments house rules should have been explained BEFORE they arrived.

Tomorrow, I’d ask your husband to have a talk with his brother. Explain that you are practicing Catholics, and as Christians you cannot support extramarital sex.

Could you maybe help them find a hotel or condo to stay in?

Do you have children at home?

 

[mfinnegan]

Thank you for your response.
It is actualy his sister, and he did mention it jokingly before they came that they wont be sleeping together. (She apparently didn’t take him seriously) He should have been more direct. I do have children but the oldest is only 4 I dont know if my oldest would realize what is going on.

 

[kage_ar]

Having kids helps in your discussion - you can ask that they respect the morals you are teaching your child.

Remember charity - find some great fun things to do with them, cook some good meals, make it a good time in spite of the bedrooms.

 

[thomfra]

Whilst I wouldn’t have a problem with them sleeping together, it’s YOUR house, so you set the rules. They can stay in a hotel if it bothers them that much.

 

[stbruno]

I heartily agree with the above poster. Your house, your rules. They always have the option of staying in a hotel.

 

[thenewmrssears]

Whenever visiting family, my now husband and I always slept in separate rooms until the night we returned from our honeymoon. We still had one night to spend in Pennsylvania before we headed back to Atlanta after we got back from Kaua’i, and my parents set the guest room for us both.

This probably should have been discussed prior to their visit, but I am of belief that it is your house, your rules.

If they don’t like it they can stay in a hotel.

 

[aggiecatholic05]

to me that was one of the biggest benifit to getting married, the couch gets old quick. i wouldnt let an unmarried couple sleep together in my home.

 

[duskyjewel]

It never ceases to amaze me just how demanding people in that situation can be. They sleep together and know their families disapprove, yet they expect everyone to “respect” their right as adults to make their own choices. Well, all the other adults deserve respect as to the choice of what they allow in their own homes. I always wonder why they can’t sleep apart for even a couple of nights, either. What will they do when business trips or military deployment comes up? They can’t sleep together then… Bottom line is that if they choose to live a lifestyle that their families disapprove of, they also take on the responsibility of financing it. If that includes homeowners refusing to allow you to sleep together unmarried under their roof, then it is your responsibility to finance your own choice to sleep together somewhere else!

 

[Island_Oak]

It never ceases to amaze me just how demanding people in that situation can be. They sleep together and know their families disapprove, yet they expect everyone to “respect” their right as adults to make their own choices. Well, all the other adults deserve respect as to the choice of what they allow in their own homes. I always wonder why they can’t sleep apart for even a couple of nights, either. What will they do when business trips or military deployment comes up? They can’t sleep together then… Bottom line is that if they choose to live a lifestyle that their families disapprove of, they also take on the responsibility of financing it. If that includes homeowners refusing to allow you to sleep together unmarried under their roof, then it is your responsibility to finance your own choice to sleep together somewhere else!

Well said…not to mention, since when do guests dictate the order/rules etc. to be followed in their hosts’ home?!?! I find that to be the ultimate in RUDE. Guests should graciously adopt the conduct expectations and practices of your hosts, not the other way around~particularly when coming into a home with children. If a practice or lifestyle annoys or offends, they can spring for their own accommodations!!