H
holly_potter
Guest
Okay, don’t know if you remember my post a week or two ago, but I finally got up the courage to go to the counseling office today, and have an appointment at 1 pm. I’m hoping it will help–I found a doctor’s criteria for emotional abuse and and went through them and typed up a response for each, plus an example of a situation for each that had actually happened. the ones that didn’t apply I deleted. (copy/pasted the whole thing into a Word document). But it still left a lot of critera left. All in all it is about 6 pages long (wow!). It felt really nice to put it down into words–like it’s out of my mind now. And going to the counselor with the printed stuff prevents me from getting temporary amnesia…usually to protect people I conveniently forget stuff that can be incriminating. It just happens, not sure why I just up and forget.
I’m a bit nervous, of course. But it will be nice to get a handle on the situation. And I applied for a part time job at my school, that will work great. So I’ll be working in Student Affairs, and the city library–two jobs. but it will give me enough money to live on my own. I may try to go to the dorms for senior year if there’s a spot open, and then after that try to make it on my own in an apartment. A kind of transition.
And I found out that some schools, with a letter from a counselor that indicates an abusive situation with advice to move out, sometimes Financial Aid will declare people independent so they can get more financial aid help. That would help me a lot for my senior year. I don’t know if mine does, but it’s a possibility. (Plus I know people in Financial Aid–worked there over summer and they were so nice).
And independent status reminds me of something else–while I was looking around for ways to be eligible for more financial aid–just looking to see if I overlooked any options–I found a IRS worksheet that lets you figure out if you’re independent for tax purposes or not. So I filled it out. Turns out I am, by a big margin. So I told my mom, and my dad next, about what I found and that I would like to change it for 2009. To put it lightly, they didn’t like the idea. Apparently they’re still broke even with making 160,000 dollars a year. So much debt does that. And I guess they need whatever tax break they need by declaring me dependent. I don’t know what the whole reasoning is. Anyway, they said if I want to declare myself independent for taxes, I need to pay rent. To keep living at home–and paying rent would not affect their behavior toward me in other ways–so I let it drop for now.
But last I checked, IRS stuff is not a “guideline” to “help people decide if they want to declare some independent or dependents,” like my mom said. If it says I’m independent, I have to be independent, on penalty of lying on the 1040. But I couldn’t push it anymore since I can’t afford rent yet. So I just dropped the matter. (Dad hasn’t spoken to me in two days). Maybe he will tonight, I dunno.
Oh, and my hearing aid broke last Monday. They’re old, have already been fixed once. I had some money in savings to buy a new one, ($1800) but when I told them that, that caused another disagreement. Then they told me “Do what you want, it’s up to you”. The rest of the message is hidden: “or we’ll be upset”. So I preserved the peace by going with the repair. I just hope it will last me through grad school, on the repair. (Internal circuits were going bad, in case you were curious).
Anyway, I’m nervous about the counseling. But I hope it will help.
I’m a bit nervous, of course. But it will be nice to get a handle on the situation. And I applied for a part time job at my school, that will work great. So I’ll be working in Student Affairs, and the city library–two jobs. but it will give me enough money to live on my own. I may try to go to the dorms for senior year if there’s a spot open, and then after that try to make it on my own in an apartment. A kind of transition.
And I found out that some schools, with a letter from a counselor that indicates an abusive situation with advice to move out, sometimes Financial Aid will declare people independent so they can get more financial aid help. That would help me a lot for my senior year. I don’t know if mine does, but it’s a possibility. (Plus I know people in Financial Aid–worked there over summer and they were so nice).
And independent status reminds me of something else–while I was looking around for ways to be eligible for more financial aid–just looking to see if I overlooked any options–I found a IRS worksheet that lets you figure out if you’re independent for tax purposes or not. So I filled it out. Turns out I am, by a big margin. So I told my mom, and my dad next, about what I found and that I would like to change it for 2009. To put it lightly, they didn’t like the idea. Apparently they’re still broke even with making 160,000 dollars a year. So much debt does that. And I guess they need whatever tax break they need by declaring me dependent. I don’t know what the whole reasoning is. Anyway, they said if I want to declare myself independent for taxes, I need to pay rent. To keep living at home–and paying rent would not affect their behavior toward me in other ways–so I let it drop for now.
But last I checked, IRS stuff is not a “guideline” to “help people decide if they want to declare some independent or dependents,” like my mom said. If it says I’m independent, I have to be independent, on penalty of lying on the 1040. But I couldn’t push it anymore since I can’t afford rent yet. So I just dropped the matter. (Dad hasn’t spoken to me in two days). Maybe he will tonight, I dunno.
Oh, and my hearing aid broke last Monday. They’re old, have already been fixed once. I had some money in savings to buy a new one, ($1800) but when I told them that, that caused another disagreement. Then they told me “Do what you want, it’s up to you”. The rest of the message is hidden: “or we’ll be upset”. So I preserved the peace by going with the repair. I just hope it will last me through grad school, on the repair. (Internal circuits were going bad, in case you were curious).
Anyway, I’m nervous about the counseling. But I hope it will help.
) and that’s why my name is Holly 
The point of what I am trying to say is that you did not make the same mistake he did - you are dealing with it NOW. If you deal early and start healing you may be able to continue a relationship. His relationship with them is to the point where he has ended his with blessing from a couple priests that know us. It is sad and as much as he tells me and my parents he feels like he has lost one family and gained another I don’t think that my mother will ever completely make up for the one who gave him life. God bless and good luck on your journey,