Update.

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Lilyofthevalley

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Remember when I went off the wall about my child’s last week about the meeting with the school shrink?
My husband brought him to the family physician today. Her decree was, don’t put him on anything. He is going through an adjustment period, and if he still shows signs of anxiety after a month or so take him to a conselor.
 
I am a new member and missed the beginning of this but so far, I like the end. Keep your child off meds and anti-depressants. Teachers these days want to throw all kids on meds - its terrible. My sister is a teacher and is always talking about how children should be on meds. Its awful.

F.S. Casey
 
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Lilyofthevalley:
Remember when I went off the wall about my child’s last week about the meeting with the school shrink?
My husband brought him to the family physician today. Her decree was, don’t put him on anything. He is going through an adjustment period, and if he still shows signs of anxiety after a month or so take him to a conselor.
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Excellent Lily, even if he still has problems, take him to at least two other Drs. For second and third opinions prior to medicating. Meds are wonderful for those who truly need them. I pray it will work out well.
Tom
 
Tom, absolutely. Yes, medication is a serious decision and it’s important to be diagnosed correctly.
He has his problems, no doubt. Last night, he kept waking up because he wanted to know what time it was and if it was time to go to school.
So, I will more than likely persue this with a therapist.
 
That is good news. Glad you updated us! I am happy that your physician concurred with your gut feeling. That must be a big relief.

Maybe prayers to St Dymphna for intercession. She is the patron Saint for mental problems and psychological anguish - anxiety etc.
 
It goes to show that nobody knows their child like “Mommy!”👍

God bless!
 
Ana, I am relieved. I was wondering if I were nuts and missing something. Fortunately, the physician said,"…no way…"
\\\\\\\ Jrabs thank you so very much for the prayers. My family needs every bit of them. 🙂
Any mom’s who know what to do about his getting up to ask what time it is? I took away the clock because he would get up to look at it. I know that sounds extreme, but…
 
Does he like school? Has he said anything that might give you some insight as to any specifics that might be causing his anxiety?

Poor guy … I can’t think of anything off the top of my head, but I will think about it and will definately pray for him (and you).

God bless
 
Our son is nine years old nw and we have been dealing with his anxiety for several years now. Only recently did we put the puzzle together. WE, too, resisted medicines. We only considered it after three psychiatrists, two therapists and three teachers who gave identical, yet independent, diagnoses/opinions. We went ahead with an anti-depressant and it made a world of difference. about 18 mos. later, we added a med for ADD and now our child makes straight A’s, is confident and happy.

Yes, I agree that maybe too many children are medicated that don’t need to be. But in my son’s case, we took it slowly, one step at a time and now we are at the min. dosages that work for him.

Re: anxiety ----before the meds, he was waking up at night with bad dreams, always worried about whether he would be late for school, always had to know where I was, worried about us dying, worried about the cat never coming home if we let her out, refused to get on a bike lest he fall, always wore the same clothes everyday in fear of being teased if he wore something different, never tried anything new for fear of failure, …

Now, none of those things are issues. He’s a happy, normal little boy who plays on a basketball team, looks for the highest steepest hill to ride his bike/skateboard down, sleeps all night, lets the cat out, doesn’t care what he wears and hopes he’s late for school so there’s that much less time to spend in the classroom!

Your decisions about your own child are your own - I just hope my experience helps you in some way.
 
I think a little anxiety is normal when adjusting to a new school. There is a world of difference between that and the anxiety that the previous poster mentioned her son suffered. This poor boy was anxious about everything.

Lily, I think finding the root of the problem is a good idea. What is it about school that makes him so anxious? Is it the other children? Is it sitting all day? Is the teacher warm and caring?

I agree that putting him on meds prematurely isn’t a good idea and that talking to a good therapist might be called for.
 
Little Mary, that poor little guy! The only anxiety with my son is school. 😦
The reason is, he is afraid he will fail third grade and not make it to fourth.
Also, his teacher is not very nice. 😦 She has been with the system 33 years and is probably there just to get retiredment. She was just as nasty 33 years ago too, calling people morons etc.
She does not do that anymore, but for example, my son asked how he did coloring in his turkey. She said,“If you were in 1st grade I would say it is good, but you scribbled…” not a very nice lady.
I will let him finnish the year up and stick him in a private school next year. I am just not impressed with the public school system anymore.
 
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Lilyofthevalley:
Little Mary, that poor little guy! The only anxiety with my son is school. 😦
The reason is, he is afraid he will fail third grade and not make it to fourth.
Also, his teacher is not very nice. 😦 She has been with the system 33 years and is probably there just to get retiredment. She was just as nasty 33 years ago too, calling people morons etc.
She does not do that anymore, but for example, my son asked how he did coloring in his turkey. She said,“If you were in 1st grade I would say it is good, but you scribbled…” not a very nice lady.
I will let him finnish the year up and stick him in a private school next year. I am just not impressed with the public school system anymore.
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Have you spoken with the administration about this?

We had a similar situation with my daughter’s first grade math teacher. We decided to stick it out and see if the situation improved. After several more weeks, the situation and our daughter’s anxiety only worsened and we insisted she be moved to another teacher.

Only later did we find out that the only kids in this teacher’s class were those whose parents had not insisted they be with a different teacher.

Since our daughter was our oldest, we did not know which teachers to avoid or that we had any say in the matter.
 
Elizabeth, sadly this lady is the only teacher for 3rd grade. What I might do, is just start showing up a couple times a day,unannounced at the school.
 
Little Mary:
WE, too, resisted medicines. We only considered it after three psychiatrists, two therapists and three teachers who gave identical, yet independent, diagnoses/opinions. We went ahead with an anti-depressant and it made a world of difference. about 18 mos. later, we added a med for ADD and now our child makes straight A’s, is confident and happy.
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Congratulations on doing it right!!! You made sure it wasn’t just one, or even two opinions, then accepted the consensus, absolutely right way to go. Two problems are, 1. the parent accepts the first opinion without question or confirmation. 2. Many parents go into denial, won’t believe anyone’s’ prognosis and continue to seek opinions until they find someone who says there’s nothing wrong.
 
What I suspect with my son, is something more to do with dyslexia or sensory intergration disorder. I actually spoke to my SIL today because I thought I was crazy by not agreeing with these professionals at his school but when she called about Christmas presents for the kids I spilled the beans. Anyway, I read the occupational therapist’s report to her, and she pointed out if my son were ADHD he would have not been able to finnish the tests that were given to him. There was no indication he had problems focusing on the tests.
 
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Tom:
Congratulations on doing it right!!! You made sure it wasn’t just one, or even two opinions, then accepted the consensus, absolutely right way to go. Two problems are, 1. the parent accepts the first opinion without question or confirmation. 2. Many parents go into denial, won’t believe anyone’s’ prognosis and continue to seek opinions until they find someone who says there’s nothing wrong.
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Thank you. The first psychiatrist we took him to we did not like - we got a bad first impression you might say. so then we took him to another one in the same city who had a very good reputation. Identical diagnosis.

We then moved to a new city two hours away and - wishful thinking- hoped we had left all our problems in the old city. But within two weeks of the first day of school the teacher was contacting us with a list of problems that were identical to that of the Teacher’s in the old city.

When we took him to the new psychiatrist in the new city, he came up with an identical diagnosis to the first two docs, without having viewed previous medical records.

Then and only then did we feel there might be something to it.
 
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Lilyofthevalley:
Little Mary, that poor little guy! The only anxiety with my son is school. 😦
The reason is, he is afraid he will fail third grade and not make it to fourth.
Also, his teacher is not very nice. 😦 She has been with the system 33 years and is probably there just to get retiredment. She was just as nasty 33 years ago too, calling people morons etc.
She does not do that anymore, but for example, my son asked how he did coloring in his turkey. She said,“If you were in 1st grade I would say it is good, but you scribbled…” not a very nice lady.
I will let him finnish the year up and stick him in a private school next year. I am just not impressed with the public school system anymore.
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Hello Lily - I have not read all the posts on this thread, but I’m glad it sounds like your son is only adjusting to a new school. He’s lucky to have you on his side, it sounds like, too.

Notwithstanding the topic of this thread - because now I can see that your son’s problems with anxiety might not run as deep as my son’s - there IS something we have in common!

You see, he’s in the 3rd grade as well and, guess what? He has a ‘not very nice’ teacher who has a rep for using fear and imitidation to control her class. She hasn’t called anyone names, but she is a robot. Kids are afraid to ask for help. Like yours, my son is convinced he isn’t going to make it to fourth grade!

Anyhoo - neither here nor there really - but what a coincidence!

Anyway good luck, and I’ll say a prayer for you and your family.

LM
 
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