URGENT End of Life question

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MSJA64

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My business partner/best friend and practicing Catholic (receives Holy Communion in hospital, and has received Anointing of the Sick more than once recently) is in the hospital, dying of cancer - likely within days. He has now chosen to stop eating food… IS THIS PERMISSABLE?
He converted to the Church in 2003, from a very “grey” form of Episcopalianism…and though he is in KoC, loves EWTN, etc…nevertheless, old self-centered ways have been pretty hard for him to conquer, and I want to know what to do, if anything, when I visit and/or talk with him today.:confused:
Many thanks.
 
It is not permissible for heath care workers to withhold food or water (nutrition or hydration) even if tube feeding is necessary.

The patient refusing to eat is a somewhat different matter, as that might be due to pain, despair, difficulty chewing/swallowing, medication decreasing the appetite, etc. So you do not know all that may be going into this situation.

I would suggest you have a priest visit him and talk with him about ordinary versus extraordinary care, pallative care, etc. I do not suggest you tackle such a subject yourself.
 
MSJA64 said:
My business partner/best friend and practicing Catholic (receives Holy Communion in hospital, and has received Anointing of the Sick more than once recently) is in the hospital, dying of cancer - likely within days. He has now chosen to stop eating food… IS THIS PERMISSABLE?
He converted to the Church in 2003, from a very “grey” form of Episcopalianism…and though he is in KoC, loves EWTN, etc…nevertheless, old self-centered ways have been pretty hard for him to conquer, and I want to know what to do, if anything, when I visit and/or talk with him today.:confused:
Many thanks.
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I am sorry for you and your friend. This must be a very trying time.
It is natural and part of the death process to refuse food at the end. Please be assured that your friend is doing nothing wrong or immoral. His body is shutting down, and he knows that he no longer needs food. It is not selfish in the sense that we normally mean it.
When you visit with him, tell him how much you love him and will miss him, and then talk about whatever he wants to talk about.
My condolences to you and your friend’s family.
 
Contact the National Catholic Bioethics Center in Phila – ask for an ethicist

(also of course – a Priest for the Sacraments of course)
 
juno24 said:
I am sorry for you and your friend. This must be a very trying time.
It is natural and part of the death process to refuse food at the end. Please be assured that your friend is doing nothing wrong or immoral. His body is shutting down, and he knows that he no longer needs food. It is not selfish in the sense that we normally mean it.
When you visit with him, tell him how much you love him and will miss him, and then talk about whatever he wants to talk about.
My condolences to you and your friend’s family.
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My thoughts exactly.
 
I have watched two people die recently, and both of them could not eat towards the end. In fact eating could have hastened their death. It is very distressing for friends and family to see their loved ones refuse food. Unfortunately it is a natural part of the process of dying in many cases.

Often their family feels angry at the patient at first, but come to realize that the person has no choice in the matter.
 
juno24 said:
I am sorry for you and your friend. This must be a very trying time.
It is natural and part of the death process to refuse food at the end. Please be assured that your friend is doing nothing wrong or immoral. His body is shutting down, and he knows that he no longer needs food. It is not selfish in the sense that we normally mean it.
When you visit with him, tell him how much you love him and will miss him, and then talk about whatever he wants to talk about.
My condolences to you and your friend’s family.
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Very well put, I agree fully. My dad and my husband both refused food as death approached, they were not choosing to commit suicide or of dying sooner. Hospice was here and explained what was happening. My late father-in-law could not eat but wanted to so a feeding tube was inserted although we knew death was near.
 
I agree with previous posters that refusing food is part of the natural process of dying (for most). I have known several people who were dying, all of which refused food near the end. Don’t assume your friend is being selfish. When someone is dying they are going through a lot and many of these things can prevent them from eating. Just use this precious little time to show your friend love and care.
 
I thank you all for your kind replies, and in advance to those who may post in the future.
  • God bless you all.
 
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