Using sensitizing lubricants in marriage bed

[Angelo85]

Hi everyone,

I would like to know if married couples are allowed to use sensitizing lubrications (for enhancing sensation)?

I have seen a few topics from the past in which members tell it’s ok to use, but still I’m not 100% confident with it, so just to assure I’m asking it again

Of course we want to use water-based lubricants only, we don’t want to use one which kills spermicides, and we will be buying it only in a local store (no porn shop).
Oh and of course after marriage only, which will take place after 4 months. We are both still virgins… Hope that will remove any doubts

 

[1ke]

I would like to know if married couples are allowed to use sensitizing lubrications (for enhancing sensation)?

Yes.

I have seen a few topics from the past in which members tell it’s ok to use, but still I’m not 100% confident with it, so just to assure I’m asking it again

Why are you not confident that it is OK to use lubricant? And, why will askin again make a difference?

 

[Augusta_Sans]

I would like to know if married couples are allowed to use sensitizing lubrications (for enhancing sensation)?

Yes, this is permitted…although if you are both virgins you might not “need” to enhance the sensation.

Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials!

 

[Kit15]

Be careful though…I’ve heard horror stories about the more…erm…for lack of a better term *flavored *lubes giving quite a skin reaction. Maybe dab a little on another sensitive part of the body first (inside of the wrist maybe?) to make sure.

Congratulations!

 

[EasterJoy]

Yes, this is permitted…although if you are both virgins you might not “need” to enhance the sensation.

Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials!

I would second this–including the congratulations!

Generally speaking, it is better to forgo sensitizing “enhancers” until after experience shows that there is some lack in sensitivity or a desire for greater sensitivity. It isn’t uncommon, after all, for there to be so much sensitivity in the early days of marriage that oversensitivity becomes an issue requiring the exercise of some measure of patience.

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. You won’t know that until you run up the odometer a bit (so to speak ). In the meantime, be assured that there is plenty of excitement in doing things simply as nature intended.

 

[Schieffelin]

I used to think they were all fine until someone more knowledgeable than me told me that many lubricants have spermicide properties (even when the package indicates that they do not). Threfore, to be safe on moral grounds, I would use something like Preseed. Or just plain old olive oil.

 

[Iheartcoffee]

I have heard a lot of people that say they got pregnant just fine with a standard lubricant so I am not sure how much of a concern they are if you are both healthy and the sperm count is normal. My husband and I didn’t even know that some lubricants could kill sperm when we first got married but we have been pretty dedicated to keeping things in the infertile phases so the fact that we never got pregnant was probably not attributed to the lubricant.

If this is a concern though, there are types that are not as likely to kill any sperm. I would stick to the medical-grade lubricants and avoid the recommendations that you can find in the kitchen. A medical-grade lubricant will be much cleaner because it is going to be kept to standards of microbiologic purity that foods are not held to. Purity levels for most foods are not as high simply because people have a pretty impressive bacteria-killer in their stomach due to the pH. You do have a decently strong immune response “down there” but the likelihood of an uncomfortable reaction or infection will be a bit higher. That being said, don’t take this to mean the area has to be sterile, it is not and never will be, but you just don’t want to introduce things to that area that are not made for it.

Contrary to what some have said on the board, some people MAY need lubricant at first because things can be somewhat painful at first and it can help reduce the pain by making the process “easier”. I don’t think it is necessary to find any special stimulating ones unless you encounter a problem of some sort.

 

[Kelfa28]

Don’t go for the “sensitizing” ones. Especially if you are new to the experience. You want to experience it naturally.

I find that plain, silicone based lubricants are better as they last longer and do not get sticky like the water based lubricants do.

It might be something to talk about after a few tries…

Good luck and congratulations!

 

[Mommyof02green]

Really the church is NOT in the bedroom as some think. Truly she doesn’t care what a couple does for the most part. The only true rules are no ABC, condoms, spermicide, porn, three-somes, etc. Also the act itself must finish in the proper place. What the couple does to lead up to the act finishing in the proper place is totally up to them as long as it doesn’t go again the few rules the church does have. So really the couple is free to use toys, lubes,and various forms of touching and kissing for foreplay.

 

[28562]

in the marriage bed?! No way! It is only ok on the marriage couch or the marriage floor…

 

[Angelo85]

Yes.
Why are you not confident that it is OK to use lubricant? And, why will askin again make a difference?

Well, I just didn’t feel that it was OK, i had my doubts, but I don’t know why. Now I’m confident with the answers I got. Thanks!

Yes, this is permitted…although if you are both virgins you might not “need” to enhance the sensation.

Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials!

Thanks alot

Be careful though…I’ve heard horror stories about the more…erm…for lack of a better term *flavored *lubes giving quite a skin reaction. Maybe dab a little on another sensitive part of the body first (inside of the wrist maybe?) to make sure.

Congratulations!

Thanks for the tip! Always comes in handy

I would second this–including the congratulations!

Generally speaking, it is better to forgo sensitizing “enhancers” until after experience shows that there is some lack in sensitivity or a desire for greater sensitivity. It isn’t uncommon, after all, for there to be so much sensitivity in the early days of marriage that oversensitivity becomes an issue requiring the exercise of some measure of patience.

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. You won’t know that until you run up the odometer a bit (so to speak ). In the meantime, be assured that there is plenty of excitement in doing things simply as nature intended.

Yeah you’re right. I just wanted to know beforehand whether it is allowed to use. Maybe we won’t use it all. But we for sure won’t use in the first few months… I also think the natural way (without anything added) will be the best way and most beautiful one for sure… Thanks alot!

I used to think they were all fine until someone more knowledgeable than me told me that many lubricants have spermicide properties (even when the package indicates that they do not). Threfore, to be safe on moral grounds, I would use something like Preseed. Or just plain old olive oil.

Yeah I’ll only use a lubricant if I know 100% sure that it doesn’t contain any spermicides.

 

[Angelo85]

I have heard a lot of people that say they got pregnant just fine with a standard lubricant so I am not sure how much of a concern they are if you are both healthy and the sperm count is normal. My husband and I didn’t even know that some lubricants could kill sperm when we first got married but we have been pretty dedicated to keeping things in the infertile phases so the fact that we never got pregnant was probably not attributed to the lubricant.

If this is a concern though, there are types that are not as likely to kill any sperm. I would stick to the medical-grade lubricants and avoid the recommendations that you can find in the kitchen. A medical-grade lubricant will be much cleaner because it is going to be kept to standards of microbiologic purity that foods are not held to. Purity levels for most foods are not as high simply because people have a pretty impressive bacteria-killer in their stomach due to the pH. You do have a decently strong immune response “down there” but the likelihood of an uncomfortable reaction or infection will be a bit higher. That being said, don’t take this to mean the area has to be sterile, it is not and never will be, but you just don’t want to introduce things to that area that are not made for it.

Contrary to what some have said on the board, some people MAY need lubricant at first because things can be somewhat painful at first and it can help reduce the pain by making the process “easier”. I don’t think it is necessary to find any special stimulating ones unless you encounter a problem of some sort.

Wow, you know quite alot about it Good that you both kept things in the infertile phase. Atleast know we have all the knowledge about spermicides right.
And yeah you’re right, some women suffer with ‘vaginism’ (painly contractions), dyspareunia (pain during love making), and dry vagina (not producing enough ‘natural lube’), so yeah there it’s more comfortable to use artificial lubes. I’m almost a doctor by the way, so that’s why I know these things

Don’t go for the “sensitizing” ones. Especially if you are new to the experience. You want to experience it naturally.

I find that plain, silicone based lubricants are better as they last longer and do not get sticky like the water based lubricants do.

It might be something to talk about after a few tries…

Good luck and congratulations!

Thanks alot! Yeah natural experience is the best way, and for first months we won’t use at all. I just needed to know beforehand because I don’t know how it will go between us (i mean, whether everything will go alright, no problems during love making etc.), but hope we don’t need it

Really the church is NOT in the bedroom as some think. Truly she doesn’t care what a couple does for the most part. The only true rules are no ABC, condoms, spermicide, porn, three-somes, etc. Also the act itself must finish in the proper place. What the couple does to lead up to the act finishing in the proper place is totally up to them as long as it doesn’t go again the few rules the church does have. So really the couple is free to use toys, lubes,and various forms of touching and kissing for foreplay.

Thanks for your answer! Yeah maybe I’m exaggerating too much, like you told many things are allowed in the bedroom. Except the things you told of course, I’m aware of what we shouldn’t do. But is it also allowed to use toys? I didn’t know that But toys (unlike lubes) can be used for selfpleasure right? For pleasure to yourself instead of your partner, and that is not allowed! Am I right?

in the marriage bed?! No way! It is only ok on the marriage couch or the marriage floor…

Lol

 

[Mommyof02green]

Thanks for your answer! Yeah maybe I’m exaggerating too much, like you told many things are allowed in the bedroom. Except the things you told of course, I’m aware of what we shouldn’t do. But is it also allowed to use toys? I didn’t know that But toys (unlike lubes) can be used for selfpleasure right? For pleasure to yourself instead of your partner, and that is not allowed! Am I right?

Lol

Everything I said was in relation to the marital act with your spouse. If you are using toys for self-pleasure then that would fall into masturbation… which is not allow.

 

[Angelo85]

Everything I said was in relation to the marital act with your spouse. If you are using toys for self-pleasure then that would fall into masturbation… which is not allow.

Clear answer, thanks! But I won’t use toys anyway, feeling uncomfortable with it, I don’t want to make use of any ‘help’ if you know what I mean

 

[EasterJoy]

…Maybe we won’t use it all. But we for sure won’t use in the first few months… I also think the natural way (without anything added) will be the best way and most beautiful one for sure… Thanks alot!

Mmmm…be a little careful on “the natural way will be the best way and the most beautiful one for sure…”

I say this because it is easy to get very wound up in one particular way to have things happen, and this leaves one vulnerable to disappointment and even a profound grief when things don’t go that way. I mean that if you need a lubricant, that isn’t less “beautiful”. If you need to see a doctor for legitimate help in fertility, that isn’t less “beautiful”. If you have to have a C-section instead of the drug-free vaginal delivery that you hoped for, that isn’t less “beautiful”. If you find yourself adopting instead of (or in addition to) childern God sends through your own pregnancy, that isn’t less “beautiful”. If you have to use formula because your body doesn’t produce enough milk to breastfeed or your baby is lactose-intolerant, that isn’t less “beautiful”. Sure, nature offers benefits that one wouldn’t turn down without reason, but sometimes nature needs some help, that can’t be helped, and we don’t want to set ourselves up for grief and angst when that happens. We also don’t want to set up an unintentional attachment to getting things the way we imagine things “ought” to be, when to be more accepting of alternatives might make charity towards our spouse or others easier. Maybe we’ll feel angst or grief over unexpected things, anyway, feelings have a mind of their own and sometimes that can’t be helped, either, but we don’t want to court vulnerability in our emotions by forming unnecessary attachments.

Rather, it is better to let go of our anxiety and expectations and realize that most of the time nature does take its course and these outside helps are either elective or unnecessary. What I’m saying is, find out what nature has to offer first, and then decide whether or not the permissible alternatives and compliments concocted by the natural gift of human reason enlightened by moral understanding are something you want to consider. Keep things simple, but don’t even let simplicity hold you hostage. There are enough real troubles in life without setting yourself up for the less necessary ones.

We are very fortunate to live in times when nature is increasingly well understood and yet also a time when many glitches in the natural system have a good understanding and available treatments. IMHO, that’s the way to look at it.

 

[Gordon_Sims]

While I agree with the notion that you should expect to need lubricants, if you do, I’d recommend staying away from the sensitizing/enhancing ones. Not only are they typically a good deal more expensive, but the “benefit” you get from them is either negligible (ranging from a very minor, short-lived sensation to a lingering odd or unpleasant sensation), or not what you intended (as in a thankfully short-lived but very painful burning sensation). We were also unfortunate enough to find that the seals on the needlessly fancy bottles of the sensitizing/enhancing lubes are far less reliable than the caps/lids of any other product in existence. We actually had to throw out our nightstand because of it.

 

[Iheartcoffee]

Wow, you know quite alot about it Good that you both kept things in the infertile phase. Atleast know we have all the knowledge about spermicides right.
And yeah you’re right, some women suffer with ‘vaginism’ (painly contractions), dyspareunia (pain during love making), and dry vagina (not producing enough ‘natural lube’), so yeah there it’s more comfortable to use artificial lubes. I’m almost a doctor by the way, so that’s why I know these things

Lol

I work in the medical field. While I don’t work in gynecology, I also have a microbiology background and in this field, as you probably know, working in the medical world comes with a whole assortment of really odd stories and weird knowledge!

 

[Bobby_Jim]

I think a basic plain water-based lubricant should be fine; should be able to get it at your local drug store in the same aisle as feminine hygeine products; if there are spermicidal properties to your basic KY-type stuff it is negligible. Something that is meant to be spermicidal will advertise “with nonoxynol-9” or something like that. I would be leary of something like vegetable oil; sounds like asking for an infection.

A word of advice for the newlyweds, which is related to question of lubrication - find someone who wouldn’t be embarassed to talk about this with, (a doctor, an older sister, etc), and have a discussion about proper hygeine & avoiding bladder infections. This is apparently a very common occurrence - happened to my wife on our honeymoon, and several other women have told my wife it happened to them within the first couple of weeks as well.