Validity of Marriage...

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Dkrep

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My son and his fiancee are to be married and have met with our parish priest and completed their Pre Cana retreat. They have however asked that there not be Holy Communion at thier service as there will be many at the wedding who are not Catholic and will not be able to participate in the sacrament.

I’m extreemly conflicted about this… any advice out there?
 
You stated not have Holy Communion at their “SERVICE” … ? So, it’s not a “Mass”?
 
With the exception of communion the ceremony is complete… How can a mass be complete without communion?
 
The marriage ceremony does not have to be held within a mass in order to be valid, although this is the ideal. It is perfectly legal and proper to have it with only a liturgy of the word. Sometimes it can be awkward managing communion in a wedding where many participants are not Catholic - e.g. non-Catholics might come up to receive when they shouldn’t, or feel slighted because they were not allowed to receive, non-practicing Catholics might feel pressured to receive - there are plenty of opportunities for divisive arguments, not to mention improper reception of the Eucharist. Leaving this out can prevent problems in certain circumstances, and it does not affect the validity of the marriage at all. If this promotes peace and good relations, and gives them a happy wedding day, it is probably a good choice.
 
I believe that you mean with the exception of the Eucharist, the ceremony is complete. It is a perfectly acceptable option to have a Catholic wedding ceremony without the consecration and distribution of Eucharist. This consists primarily of a Liturgy of the Word plus the wedding rite. They have properly chosen this due to a large number of non-Catholic participants. There will be nothing less valid about their marriage just because this option was taken.
 
Dkrep said:
My son and his fiancee are to be married and have met with our parish priest and completed their Pre Cana retreat. They have however asked that there not be Holy Communion at thier service as there will be many at the wedding who are not Catholic and will not be able to participate in the sacrament.

I’m extreemly conflicted about this… any advice out there?
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What is your question? Are you asking if the marriage will be valid? The answer is yes.

The validity of marriage does not depend upon whether the Marriage Rite is done inside or outside of Mass. It depends upon the canon law requirements being met-- Mass is not a requirement.
 
Dkrep said:
With the exception of communion the ceremony is complete… How can a mass be complete without communion?
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There will be no Mass. It well be a marriage outside of Mass.

What is your conflict ?
 
My concern was the validity of the marriage within the Latin Rite. My conflict is reconciling in my mind and heart the issue of the marriage and it’s celebration outside a mass setting. My heart is somewhat heavy regarding the absence of the eucharist.
 
Other posters have already answered the question of validity, so I won’t mention it again. I was the non-catholic party party in a mixed marriage (I became Catholic later). Mass was not celebrated at our wedding. Probably half the people in attendance (my family) were Protestant. In a situation where many attendees are not able to particpate, I don’t feel it is inappropriate for mass to not be celebrated. I think it is better to focus on what unites the famillies (the marriage) and not what may (sadly) divide them (differences in faith). Best wishes to all!
 
JHow said:
Other posters have already answered the question of validity, so I won’t mention it again. I was the non-catholic party party in a mixed marriage (I became Catholic later). Mass was not celebrated at our wedding. Probably half the people in attendance (my family) were Protestant. In a situation where many attendees are not able to particpate, I don’t feel it is inappropriate for mass to not be celebrated. I think it is better to focus on what unites the famillies (the marriage) and not what may (sadly) divide them (differences in faith). Best wishes to all!
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I think that, no mass, is now the preferred form when one of the parties is non-Catholic for the reasons you state. It may even be mandatory if the non-Catholic party has not been baptized.
 
Dkrep said:
My concern was the validity of the marriage within the Latin Rite. My conflict is reconciling in my mind and heart the issue of the marriage and it’s celebration outside a mass setting. My heart is somewhat heavy regarding the absence of the eucharist.
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I understand your heaviness of heart concerning the lack of the celebration of the Eucharist, but that has no bearing on the validity of the sacrament of marriage.
 
Dkrep said:
My son and his fiancee are to be married and have met with our parish priest and completed their Pre Cana retreat. They have however asked that there not be Holy Communion at thier service as there will be many at the wedding who are not Catholic and will not be able to participate in the sacrament.

I’m extreemly conflicted about this… any advice out there?
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Dear Poster,
I deeply appreciate your faith and concern about the importance
of mass and eucharist in a wedding. You have a great love and faithfulness
for the Lord who is the true builder and treasure of every wedding.
However, the matter of a married life does’nt only lay on the
benediction of the Lord received at wedding ceremony. Because
it needs the weds persistance and good will to keep their promesses,
for each other and the Lord, lasting forever.
Very sadly , I declare to you that from 28 years ago I witnessed a
wedding with mass and communion ceremonies, but it ended now
by a divorce.
Asking for God’s blessings is the best thing to do,
but we should keep fighting everyday to deserve it.
My best wishes for your son of a very blessed and forever
lasting marriage.
They are very lucky to have you as their father.
Be blessed.
Peace and Good
nohamaria:)
 
Dkrep said:
My son and his fiancee are to be married and have met with our parish priest and completed their Pre Cana retreat. They have however asked that there not be Holy Communion at thier service as there will be many at the wedding who are not Catholic and will not be able to participate in the sacrament.

I’m extreemly conflicted about this… any advice out there?
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this has nothing whatever to do with the validity of the sacrament of matrimony. there is no requirement that the wedding take place in the context of a Mass, or even in a service that includes communion.

They have no doubt been strongly advised by the pastor who is preparing them for marriage that having Mass or communion at a wedding where a great many guests are not Catholic, and cannot receive, can be very divisive and hurtful. Just when Christians should be celebrating a great sign of unity, the sad fact of disunity that exists is highlighted. Not conducive to good relations among Christians of different denominations. Is one of the spouses non-Catholic?
 
Sounds like maybe the other party isnt Catholic? If so, then with your great love and devotion to the Eucharist I would look at it from the perspective that if there will be many attending who arent Catholic having only the ceremony without a Mass might just be preventing possible abuse of the Sacrament in this case. Maybe looking at it in that way will help with your understandable disappointment.
 
I have heard of some cases where the Catholics went to an earlier mass in order to receive. That would seem to crowd and already full day. Maybe a day or two before would work?
 
I thank you all for your advice, insights and support… Your having taken time for these questions has been a blessing. Peace be with you all!
 
Dkrep said:
I thank you all for your advice, insights and support… Your having taken time for these questions has been a blessing. Peace be with you all!
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Congratulations to you on your Son’s future marriage! My son is getting married on June 12th. We are busy with all the last details. Very exciting!
 
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