Vasectomy and Conversion

[Derogenault]

I have a question that I have struggled with since my conversion to Catholicism a year ago. I’ve found much of this site to be very helpful to me as I continue my struggle to be a good Catholic and to build a Catholic life and example for my family.

Prior to my conversion, I had a vasectomy (about 5 years ago). Although at the time I may have have glanced at the possibility of embracing the Church, I was both uneducated and still fairly indifferent to the Church’s teachings on the matter. After three children it was something that I decided was the right decision.

As I went through the RCIA process, I began to question the wisdom of that decision - Did my motivation have anything to do with God and his will - or more my own self-centered view of the world? It was not a difficult question for me to answer.

I talked to my priest about it - I asked whether I should reverse it. He asked me whether I wanted more children, and I said, honestly, no - but that I would be willing to try NFP if that was the right thing to do.

His response was - that in my baptism, I had been born again, and that in my new life, I was sterile. That God had forgiven me for the transgressions of my past life. That having a vasectomy was a sin - that I might always regret having altered my body in that way, but that I should be assured that God had forgiven me in baptism. He told me that he would never council a born sterile man to have a procedure he did not want or need.

I love my priest and I trust him. I am, however, worrying that I’ve had my cake and eaten it too. What do you think?

 

[Timidity]

You are not required to reverse it, and your sin is forgiven. However, you are not prohibited from reversing it either, if it will give you more peace of mind. However, make sure that you’re not denying the forgiveness you’ve received.

 

[CatholicPoet]

Yours is not as uncommon a problem as you might think. (Don’t you hate it when people say that?)

You did something that is wrong to do. You did it not knowing that it was wrong. You have since been baptised and embraced church teaching. Now, you know that it was wrong and so you feel guilty.

Your priest is right in what he told you, and yet you still feel guilty. Rest assured that God can forgive far worse sins than yours. Even the most wretched of sinners can be forgiven.

 

[GodBlessJoanie]

What an opportunity to “step-right” with the Lord! If reversal was a possiblity -then why not? What a testament to your Faith, and your conversion! What a testament to your love for the Lord and HIS rules! I applaude your question as it seems that your “conscience” is talking and we all know who’s voice that really is…

Blessings to you!
Joanie

 

[Gordon_N]

I can totally sympathize with you, as these are my exact circumstances! I came into the Church last April, and prior to that (about 3 years ago) had a vasectomy.

My first confession included the destruction of my body (vasectomy), as well as the 35 year list of other sins (man what a day that was!). As all sins that are justly confessed and a spirit full of sorrow for them, my transgressions were absolved.

My question was as yours - I was still using my infertility to my advantage when it came to marital relations. While I was in Iraq (left for that place 2 months after my confirmation), I had a glorious day - God told me (I still wonder if I am crazy) that my wife and I were going to have another son. We are blessed with four children right now, and at that point I was suffering from having a vasectomy. God’s revelation to me selaed the deal, so to speak. My wife made arrangements with a vasectomy reversal doctor, and 1 month after my return from Iraq, I had my reversal.

Some of the things that drove me to do that? The biggest was to make that comittment to God and put my life (and my children’s) back in His hands. The next was the desire to live up to what he said would happen - another son. I know that God can do that even without a reversal (he is God you know), but I wanted to help out in whatever form I could. It was a sacrifice of time, money, pain and a little bit of suffering. My sacrifice to Him is nothing compared to His sacrifice for us though.

My priest told me that there was no need to perform the reversal. Infertile couples can still practice NFP - not for the child spacing, but more for the sacrifice and the bonding. He said that this is perfectly acceptable to the Church. One of the problems with remaining “broken” (who ever came up with the idea of calling a vasectomy “getting fixed” anyway?) is that it is easy to fall into the “contraceptive mentality” where you can have marital relations any time, any place, and there is NO chance of the fruits of those relations. That is taking advantage of your situation… Bad.

Long story short, Pray. If God desires for you to make those sacrifices, He will let you know. Pray, and pray hard. Do as God tells you. Sometimes, He does not use words. Listen closely with all of your being. If the reversal will help you to become more complete, do it. If there is no immediate desire for more children, NFP is effective for spacing the kids out so as not to overwhelm finances and mental health! Use it - it improves the relationship of husband and wife.

My final note: After a vasectomy, a vasectomy reversal, a resulting analysis of “poor prognosis” for fertility, and a 3 day course of medicine, my wife ended up pregnant. With twins. Unfortunatley, she lost both babies in their 6th week. God works in mysterious ways, and I guess that He desired their presence with Him in His kingdom. We are saddened, but are joyful that there are two more saints in heaven.

Peace,

Gordon

 

[Derogenault]

What a wonderful group of people you are. Each of you touched me more that you could know.

Gordon, my friend, please ask your little saints to pray for me as hard as I will for them.