Vasectomy

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CLMargaret

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My husband and I are expecting our 3rd baby, and we just found this out recenty. My husband thinks that 3 is enough. While I agree that 3 may be all we can handle for a while, I don’t think we should do anything permanent.

I thought I had ran into a link on this site a while back about the dangers or downside of a vasectomy (from a medical, not religious, perspective). I can’t seem to find it in a search. Does anyone have that? While my husband is Catholic by title, I don’t think he fully understands why the church teaches this is wrong. He knows I don’t agree with it, and may do it anyway.

I have to say, too, that I do understand why it is wrong and still feel tempted to let him go ahead with it, because right now 3 children sounds overwhelming. We have a terrible time at abstaining in Phase II (obviously), I refuse to go back to ABC, so poor dh is seeing a vasectomy as the only solution.

Keep us both in your prayers.
 
CLMargaret said:
My husband and I are expecting our 3rd baby, and we just found this out recenty. My husband thinks that 3 is enough. While I agree that 3 may be all we can handle for a while, I don’t think we should do anything permanent.

I thought I had ran into a link on this site a while back about the dangers or downside of a vasectomy (from a medical, not religious, perspective). I can’t seem to find it in a search. Does anyone have that? While my husband is Catholic by title, I don’t think he fully understands why the church teaches this is wrong. He knows I don’t agree with it, and may do it anyway.

I have to say, too, that I do understand why it is wrong and still feel tempted to let him go ahead with it, because right now 3 children sounds overwhelming. We have a terrible time at abstaining in Phase II (obviously), I refuse to go back to ABC, so poor dh is seeing a vasectomy as the only solution.

Keep us both in your prayers.
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Just some encouragement, hopefully…

I just had my third a few months ago. After he was born and my two other kids came to visit us in the hospital (3.5yrs and 2 yrs), I sat there looking at all three kids together and thought, “Aw poo, what have I gotten myself into?” Now that we are home and settled in, I cannot imagine not having all three of them. You adapt, your kids adapt, and life goes on. Now Kyle is almost 2.5 months old and I’m already thinking how nice it would be to try for #4 in a few months. :o (dh isn’t exactly on board with that!)
 
I have been where you are. I had just had number three and was feeling the burn. My oldest has some special needs my second was in speech therapy and I had just finished a very difficult third pregnancy. I also didn’t know that I had hypothyroidism that was helping me become very fat and depressed. We were not catholic at that time we were lds. Our bishop said it was okay to cut the tubes and since I had to go in for a hernia surgery it was me who got the tubes cut my husband was supportive of my decision. Fast forward five years we have become catholic and while I know baptism washes away all sins this is one that still haunts me a little. I did it because I was stressed out and just knew in my heart at the time that I could not handle anymore children. I was even told by my spiritual advisors at that time that what I was doing was morally correct; however I know better now I did not put my trust in god. I choose my way over a way that has him in control. I regret my decision. There are benifits in that I don’t have to worry about birth control but sometimes now that the children are older I wish I had not taken such a drastic route. The main problem is that I didn’t want to depend on what God’s plan for me was. I wanted my life to follow my plan. I can only imagine what I have missed out on by not allowing God to be in this part of my life. The sad thing is because of my hypothyroidism it would be very difficult for me to become pregnant so I basically had the surgery for nothing. God knows, trust in him.
 
I will definitely pray! Just to share, my dh insisted on a vas after we had three. I was scared of three too, even though it was totally planned, and didn’t feel like I could ask him not to do it. He had it done almost immediately after the birth. What do you know, that was the easiest transition we’ve ever had. After a few months, I was thinking, wow, now I can see how people have large families, this isn’t so bad. But we were stuck then weren’t we?

Well, we ended up adopting two beautiful boys and then, after 9 years, my dh got a vas reversal. We were pg two cycles later. God is good. I am so thankful that He was so merciful to us.
 
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