Very Loud Talking in Church During Mass

[BeOurDefense]

Yesterday I attended Sunday Mass at a different church due to being out of town, and a couple walked in late (probably around the time of the Gloria), sat right behind me despite there being plenty of pew space, and proceeded to talk out loud throughout the entire Mass. They were quiet during the readings and homily, but any time music started to play, the talking began. It was like music (including right up to and through the consecration) = permission to talk.

It was distracting enough that I was tempted at one point to get up and move to a different pew, but I decided to stay where I was, say nothing, and offer it up as a small personal sacrifice. I think one of them may have not been Catholic, and the other one was explaining things to her (due to the music, I couldn’t tell exactly what they were saying to each other).

Do you think this was the right way to handle it, or would you have moved, or even actually said something? To me, it’s a similar situation as when kids are misbehaving during Mass and their parents aren’t doing anything about it - they should know better, but is it charitable for someone other than the priest to call attention to it?

 

[fred_conty]

I think you did the right thing.

If it happened over and over then I would say something to them after Mass because I would not want to interrupt and maybe cause a bigger commotion in church.

 

[Belshazzar]

Personally, I would sing so loud as to drown out the chatter between them.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

I’ve had this experience at Mass. I remember one day where the couple behind me chatted all during the Mass – commenting to each other on the readings, the homily, and generally talking through the prayers. At one point the man told the woman “you’re going to have to speak up. I can’t hear you over the choir.” My prayers that day mostly consisted of “Thank you, Lord, for giving me this opportunity to practice patience.”

 

[tawny]

I’ve had this experience at Mass. I remember one day where the couple behind me chatted all during the Mass – commenting to each other on the readings, the homily, and generally talking through the prayers. At one point the man told the woman “you’re going to have to speak up. I can’t hear you over the choir.” My prayers that day mostly consisted of “Thank you, Lord, for giving me this opportunity to practice patience.”

 

[Avila123]

I think you handled it correctly. If it keeps happening then maybe you need to do something else such as mention it to the priest.

From the outside, they were rude and disrespectful, but then we don’t know the truth. Maybe one person was trying to draw someone to the faith but handled it badly by being so focused that they lost sight of the reality of where they were, the mass and congregation.

Thanking God that I wasn’t there as I could not have coped.

 

[ellam25]

Yesterday I attended Sunday Mass at a different church due to being out of town, and a couple walked in late (probably around the time of the Gloria), sat right behind me despite there being plenty of pew space, and proceeded to talk out loud throughout the entire Mass. They were quiet during the readings and homily, but any time music started to play, the talking began. It was like music (including right up to and through the consecration) = permission to talk.

It was distracting enough that I was tempted at one point to get up and move to a different pew, but I decided to stay where I was, say nothing, and offer it up as a small personal sacrifice. I think one of them may have not been Catholic, and the other one was explaining things to her (due to the music, I couldn’t tell exactly what they were saying to each other).

Do you think this was the right way to handle it, or would you have moved, or even actually said something? To me, it’s a similar situation as when kids are misbehaving during Mass and their parents aren’t doing anything about it - they should know better, but is it charitable for someone other than the priest to call attention to it?

I go to two churches, a traditional mass (which is an hour and a half away, but preferred) and a norvus ordo mass when I wake up late or just don’t have enough gas…there is always ALWAYS a trope of little old ladies at the norvus ordo who sit there in the back pews and gab throughout mass. Since I am pregnant, I need to have close access to the bathroom, so I am stuck always listening to them saying things like “Did Harold go to that golf game yesterday?” Or “How’s Judy? Did she get that new car she wanted?” I am always kind to them, and try not to get too annoyed but i feel like this is just so disrespectful, not only to those around you but to God.

 

[Jeannie52]

I think you handled it correctly. If it keeps happening then maybe you need to do something else such as mention it to the priest.

From the outside, they were rude and disrespectful, but then we don’t know the truth. Maybe one person was trying to draw someone to the faith but handled it badly by being so focused that they lost sight of the reality of where they were, the mass and congregation.

Thanking God that I wasn’t there as I could not have coped.

I agree with what Avila123 said. If this situation continues I would speak to the priest about it after Mass. It is distracting to others who can’t hear the Mass.

I will pray and hope this situation get resolved without anyone at that church getting embarrassed. Our mission is complete charity and love toward one another as God loves us.

 

[SMH_2015]

Wow…the last time I heard about something like this was “back in the day”…when the teenagers always sat in the back pews so they could giggle & fool around…Certainly never saw adults doing this!!

 

[AttendeDomine]

Wow…the last time I heard about something like this was “back in the day”…when the teenagers always sat in the back pews so they could giggle & fool around…Certainly never saw adults doing this!!

Maybe the teenagers grew up and are still doing it!

I would have probably moved. I think being patient and praying to the Lord for the couple is absolutely wonderful. But frankly, it would have just been far too distracting for someone of my temperament.

 

[Boy_Wonder]

It was distracting enough that I was tempted at one point to get up and move to a different pew, but I decided to stay where I was, say nothing, and offer it up as a small personal sacrifice. I think one of them may have not been Catholic, and the other one was explaining things to her (due to the music, I couldn’t tell exactly what they were saying to each other).

Do you think this was the right way to handle it, or would you have moved, or even actually said something? To me, it’s a similar situation as when kids are misbehaving during Mass and their parents aren’t doing anything about it - they should know better, but is it charitable for someone other than the priest to call attention to it?

If you’re offering it up as a “small personal sacrifice” then why cops a resentment? One was trying to share the faith by instructing her in the stages of the Mass. Why get upset?

Children are the future of the church. Never, and I mean NEVER complain about them or bark at their parents. No one screamed at you when you were fussing in church as a small child, so don’t even entertain the thought of unloading on a harried parent.

Love. Following Christ is all about love. Peevishly correcting people is never loving - even when we cloak it in the sanctimonious guise of “fraternal correction”. The path to sanctity is using these small irritations to mortify our own egos.

 

[Boy_Wonder]

I go to two churches, a traditional mass (which is an hour and a half away, but preferred) and a norvus ordo mass when I wake up late or just don’t have enough gas…there is always ALWAYS a trope of little old ladies at the norvus ordo who sit there in the back pews and gab throughout mass. Since I am pregnant, I need to have close access to the bathroom, so I am stuck always listening to them saying things like “Did Harold go to that golf game yesterday?” Or “How’s Judy? Did she get that new car she wanted?” I am always kind to them, and try not to get too annoyed but i feel like this is just so disrespectful, not only to those around you but to God.

If there were no Novus Ordo Mass and every parish still celebrated the Tridentine Mass, you’d find the same behavior you’re describing at the TLM Mass. The only reason people are more devout and better behaved at the TLM is because they are the ones who truly love and want this Mass. If it were offered everywhere, you’d see a lot of the same bad behavior that one finds in most parishes. Don’t believe me? Read the sermons of the Cure of Ars who was complaining about terrible behavior in church - back in the 1830’s.

 

[Crown_of_Stars]

There never seems to be loud talking during the Mass, just before, and, of course, after. The before-Mass visits, the after-Mass visits. The worst I ever heard was two middle-aged ladies behind me talking about what movie they were going to see, that a certain “flick” just “really isn’t my thing,” then they saw the lady who leads the responsorial hymns and one of them said, “Is that so-and-so? Did she dye her hair?!” Then one of them saw the priest, and said how “Fr. looks spiffy tonight!” And sitting in front of me, hearing it all, were three Marian nuns, and one of them looked quite annoyed and kept turning around to look, but never said anything. This happened a few years ago, but I’ll never forget it.

 

[ameliepoir]

If you’re offering it up as a “small personal sacrifice” then why cops a resentment? One was trying to share the faith by instructing her in the stages of the Mass. Why get upset?

Children are the future of the church. Never, and I mean NEVER complain about them or bark at their parents. No one screamed at you when you were fussing in church as a small child, so don’t even entertain the thought of unloading on a harried parent.

Love. Following Christ is all about love. Peevishly correcting people is never loving - even when we cloak it in the sanctimonious guise of “fraternal correction”. The path to sanctity is using these small irritations to mortify our own egos.

I’m going to remember this throughout my week - thank you!

 

[BeOurDefense]

If you’re offering it up as a “small personal sacrifice” then why cops a resentment? One was trying to share the faith by instructing her in the stages of the Mass. Why get upset?

Children are the future of the church. Never, and I mean NEVER complain about them or bark at their parents. No one screamed at you when you were fussing in church as a small child, so don’t even entertain the thought of unloading on a harried parent.

Love. Following Christ is all about love. Peevishly correcting people is never loving - even when we cloak it in the sanctimonious guise of “fraternal correction”. The path to sanctity is using these small irritations to mortify our own egos.

So when I fraternal correction appropriate? I happen to agree with you that it’s not worth it in a case like this, but is it ever? I don’t KNOW that instruction in the faith is what was happening, just a hunch. There was also a fair amount of snickering going on.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to become distracted by something that’s noticeably out of place in a given setting. It’s all in the way it’s dealt with. I think the mortification aspect you mention is key. Whenever I rush to see a fault in someone else, I try to remember to pray for forgiveness of the same fault in myself. Personally, I think I would want to be told if something I’m doing during Mass is disrupting someone else’s prayer (I’m sure I’ve probably unknowingly done things that have). I’d probably get embarrassed or offended initially, but it would help me to be more considerate of those around me.

As for children, I love them dearly and do not believe in crying rooms, but there’s a line between a crying baby or a child asking his parents a question - or parents quietly explaining to their children what’s happening in the Mass, for that matter - and kids beyond toddler stage treating the church like a playground or a gymnasium. The latter is what I was talking about.

That being said, the only soul I have (or want!) any direct say over is my own, and I have a long way to go on the path to sanctification. I’d love to get to the point where even things that are out of place no longer bother me.

 

[BeOurDefense]

If you’re offering it up as a “small personal sacrifice” then why cops a resentment? One was trying to share the faith by instructing her in the stages of the Mass. Why get upset?

Children are the future of the church. Never, and I mean NEVER complain about them or bark at their parents. No one screamed at you when you were fussing in church as a small child, so don’t even entertain the thought of unloading on a harried parent.

Love. Following Christ is all about love. Peevishly correcting people is never loving - even when we cloak it in the sanctimonious guise of “fraternal correction”. The path to sanctity is using these small irritations to mortify our own egos.

So, when is fraternal correction appropriate? I happen to agree with you that it’s not worth it in a case like this, but is it ever? I don’t KNOW that instruction in the faith is what was happening, just a hunch. There was also a fair amount of snickering going on.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to become distracted by something that’s noticeably out of place in a given setting. It’s all in the way it’s dealt with. I think the mortification aspect you mention is key. Whenever I rush to see a fault in someone else, I try to remember to pray for forgiveness of the same fault in myself. Personally, I think I would want to be told if something I’m doing during Mass is disrupting someone else’s prayer (I’m sure I’ve probably unknowingly done things that have). I’d probably get embarrassed or offended initially, but it would help me to be more considerate of those around me.

As for children, I love them dearly and do not believe in crying rooms, but there’s a line between a crying baby or a child asking his parents a question - or parents quietly explaining to their children what’s happening in the Mass, for that matter - and kids beyond toddler stage treating the church like a playground or a gymnasium. The latter is what I was talking about.

That being said, the only soul I have (or want!) any direct say over is my own, and I have a long way to go on the path to sanctification. I’d love to get to the point where even things that are out of place no longer bother me.