Violent death in my friend's life

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DJgang

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My best friend recently had a very good friend to die a tragic death.

Here’s the story. My friend and this lady were really close. The lady was a wonderful person and mentor to my friend. See, they both are elementary school teachers, both in Special Ed.

The Lady worked at an after school program for students. She was the cordinator of the facility that did remedial work with students after school. Between 5 and 6 pm, Wed. Oct 26, she was beaten by a student. That student “bragged” to few friends who in return went to the school to check on this lady. They are the one’s who called 911 about 9 pm that night.

See was determined to be brain dead the following weekend and her family decided to remove all artificial means of life. She died Sunday morning.

My friend is having a very hard time with this. Not necessarily the death, but the way her friend died.

After leaving the funeral home the other night, my friend called me. This is what she asked…

“It obvious that the Devil had a hand in this isn’t it? Well, we know that God knows everything that goes on, even what the Devil is up to…why didn’t God stop this?”

My only response to her was something that I has heard once…God allows suffering to happen for a greater goodness. That’s all that I could say to her.

My friend is a Christian, but I feel that I need to give her a little more. She’s having a hard time.

Have any of you dealt with violence such as this? Do any of you have any suggestions as to what more I could say to my friend?

Thanks!
 
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DJgang:
My best friend recently had a very good friend to die a tragic death.

Here’s the story. My friend and this lady were really close. The lady was a wonderful person and mentor to my friend. See, they both are elementary school teachers, both in Special Ed.

The Lady worked at an after school program for students. She was the cordinator of the facility that did remedial work with students after school. Between 5 and 6 pm, Wed. Oct 26, she was beaten by a student. That student “bragged” to few friends who in return went to the school to check on this lady. They are the one’s who called 911 about 9 pm that night.

See was determined to be brain dead the following weekend and her family decided to remove all artificial means of life. She died Sunday morning.

My friend is having a very hard time with this. Not necessarily the death, but the way her friend died.

After leaving the funeral home the other night, my friend called me. This is what she asked…

“It obvious that the Devil had a hand in this isn’t it? Well, we know that God knows everything that goes on, even what the Devil is up to…why didn’t God stop this?”

My only response to her was something that I has heard once…God allows suffering to happen for a greater goodness. That’s all that I could say to her.

My friend is a Christian, but I feel that I need to give her a little more. She’s having a hard time.

Have any of you dealt with violence such as this? Do any of you have any suggestions as to what more I could say to my friend?

Thanks!
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That’s so sad. I can’t even imagine what your friend must be going through…I fear anything I say wouldn’t do any good, but I will be praying.
 
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CheesusPowerKid:
That’s so sad. I can’t even imagine what your friend must be going through…I fear anything I say wouldn’t do any good, but I will be praying.
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Thanks for the prayers.

I spoke to my friend again last night…she was in tears because her husband was leaving her at home alone while he went to help some friends out on some home repairs.

She’s now terrified to be alone…go shopping, etc alone.

Of course, she herself has vowed not to stay after school anymore alone.

I feel so sorry for her.
 
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DJgang:
Thanks for the prayers.

I spoke to my friend again last night…she was in tears because her husband was leaving her at home alone while he went to help some friends out on some home repairs.

She’s now terrified to be alone…go shopping, etc alone.

Of course, she herself has vowed not to stay after school anymore alone.

I feel so sorry for her.
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It would be great if your friend could join some sort of support group in her are for people who have survived violent crimes in one way or another (those left behind after a violent crime). Since I do not know where your friend lives I cannot suggest what group to go to. However, she (or someone else) should call either the mental health dept. or even a suicide hotline (even though she is not suicidal) and they can reccomend a group. I know exactly how she feels (been there in a violent death situation myself) and I can tell you that if she does not, at the very least, talk to others who have experienced similar situations she may have a very difficult time coming out of this. I am NOT talking “therapy” - just talking to others and learning some coping strategies - it really does help. Thirteen years after my “incident” I am much better but I also know that I should have talked more and not kept things so bottled up.
Good luck -
KB
 
Heart of Mary - thanks for your reply.

I know that they have supplied the students with counseling, but I don’t know about the teachers.

I will definitely suggest that she might want to just start out with her minister.

Sorry to hear of the violence you’ve experienced. May the peace of our Lord be with you.
 
I will keep her and you in my prayers too, tell her to make sure that her husband understands just how terribly this is affecting her right now. Perhaps she could go with him when he has to be gone. Perhaps a friend could invite her over or go to be with her. She probably knows somewhere inside of her that she has to carry on, but it doesn’t sound like she is ready to just quite yet. Understandable too. They ought to hire a security guard to be with those teachers, some of those people are obviously unstable at times. Rare, but it happens. Something in their brain isn’t firing right I guess. I will pray for all of them too. Lord have mercy. I think that heart of Mary gave you some excellent advice. Perhaps Princess Abby will come here and help out, she usually knows just what to do about things like this.
 
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