Virginity?

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DrPiano said:
I want to commend you for endeavoring to live a pure and chaste life. As for who/what you should tell… Honestly, as far as your friends go, it isn’t really their business, so unless you feel that disclosing that information will help them in some way, I’d say don’t worry about saying either way. With your future wife, I’d suggest that when it is appropriate you tell her what you’ve done. After all, once you are married you will be sharing all of who you are with her. In my opinion, it would be good to not have secrets from her.
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👍
 
DrPiano said:
Honestly, as far as your friends go, it isn’t really their business, so unless you feel that disclosing that information will help them in some way, I’d say don’t worry about saying either way. With your future wife, I’d suggest that when it is appropriate you tell her what you’ve done.
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Yeah, I’d agree that it doesn’t need to be friends business. Though I think there are times, when virginity is being mocked or being called impossible, it’s really great for a person to be around that can say “Virginity isn’t impossible, I’m one and I’m alive. I’m not disfigured. I’m not going insane.”

Truely it helps a bit on these forums when a person is asking for help and share that something with their marriage means they can’t have sex now.

And on telling a spouse. I’d really think that should definantly be shared well before the marriage. I’m dating a girl and we’ve both made some sexual mistakes before getting together. I have stuggled with masterbation and porn; and she’d had a make out session where her shirt came off. We’ve discussed it , and those are all the big mosters in our closets. Not as scary as many people will face, but people have to know so they understand what they are getting into. I would have a really hard time knowing the girl I may marry wasn’t a virgin, and if I found it out after the wedding…I probably wouldn’t consumate the marriage just from fear of other secrets I might not know. That would make the marriage anullable and my new ‘wife’ and I would have several long talk and cold showers during the honeymoon making sure this was still the right choice.
Couples definantly don’t have to share that on day one, but as they get closer, they have to know where the other is weak, where the other needs prayer, and if the other is improving their habits.
 
Mirror_Mirror said:
I did not say that oral sex is sexual intercourse and did not say that it "renders someone a ‘non-virgin’ but I did say that oral sex is fornication. Oral sex is sex. Sex outside of marriage is fornication. Henceforth, oral sex is fornication.
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I agree with, but is someone who had oral sex but not sexual intercourse still a virgin?
 
Mirror_Mirror said:
I did not say that oral sex is sexual intercourse and did not say that it "renders someone a ‘non-virgin’ but I did say that oral sex is fornication. Oral sex is sex. Sex outside of marriage is fornication. Henceforth, oral sex is fornication.
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Oral sex is NOT “fornication.” Fornication is sexual INTERCOURSE outside of marriage. If married - sexual intercourse with someone other than your spouse is “adultery.”

There are all kinds of “deviant sexual behaviors” that are sins against impurity. The worst, a “mockery” in a sense of a sacramental marriage - is intercourse between two people not married to each other.
Other sexual behaviors - including oral sex - would be considered “foreplay.” Something BEFORE, leading up to, the act of intercourse. It is not “fornication.” A married person cannot “fornicate” - but can have oral sex.

Here is the link someone asked for regarding the definition of fornication. ( It’s dictionary.com) Here it is:

dictionary.reference.com/browse/fornication
 
LovedForever said:
Oral sex is NOT “fornication.” Fornication is sexual INTERCOURSE outside of marriage. If married - sexual intercourse with someone other than your spouse is “adultery.”

There are all kinds of “deviant sexual behaviors” that are sins against impurity. The worst, a “mockery” in a sense of a sacramental marriage - is intercourse between two people not married to each other.
Other sexual behaviors - including oral sex - would be considered “foreplay.” Something BEFORE, leading up to, the act of intercourse. It is not “fornication.” A married person cannot “fornicate” - but can have oral sex.

Here is the link someone asked for regarding the definition of fornication. ( It’s dictionary.com) Here it is:

dictionary.reference.com/browse/fornication
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From you link:
**fornication **
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noun
  1. voluntary sexual intercourse between persons not married to each other
  2. extramarital sex that willfully and maliciously interferes with marriage relations; “adultery is often cited as grounds for divorce” [syn: adultery]
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In #2 it says “extramarital sex” and oral sex is sex, we have covered that. Therefore it is fornication. Sex outside of marriage. If it is not fornication then what is it? Is it okay for an unmarried couple to have oral sex?
 
Mirror_Mirror said:
From you link:

In #2 it says “extramarital sex” and oral sex is sex, we have covered that. Therefore it is fornication. Sex outside of marriage. If it is not fornication then what is it? Is it okay for an unmarried couple to have oral sex?
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Kissing is sex too - but it is NOT “fornication.” Fornication has a specific meaning. As does adultery.

When you reference “extramarital sex” you are now discussing ADULTERY - not “fornication.” Fornication is limited to UNMARRIED people.
Likewise, an unmarried person cannot commit “adultery.”

Sex is broader than “Intercourse.”
Intercourse is very specific - and is what fornication refers to. NOT activities leading UP TO “intercourse” which encompasses a wide range of behaviors both pure and impure. Including oral sex.

Enough beating this horse. It’s already dead I’m afraid.🤷
 
It’s not so much whether you’re a virgin, although that is something to know. It’s whether you are being chaste, and whether or not you committed mortal sins of unchastity in the past.

However, it really is nobody’s business what sins you’ve committed in the past, unless you’re talking to a priest in Confession. Maybe you should be more concerned about turning the conversation to other subjects, rather than whether or not you’re technically a virgin.
 
christcnection1 said:
I agree with, but is someone who had oral sex but not sexual intercourse still a virgin?
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We need to ask what is the spiritual value in virginity? Whether it is oral sex, masturbation, pornography, genuine vaginal intercourse or any one of a number of other uses of ones sex organs the spiritual value of chastity and virginity are lost. To be technically able to claim physical integrity is a sham. Those who fall and then are able to avoid such acts in the future are to be commended, but baby, I would not call them virgins.
 
rwoehmke said:
We need to ask what is the spiritual value in virginity? Whether it is oral sex, masturbation, pornography, genuine vaginal intercourse or any one of a number of other uses of ones sex organs the spiritual value of chastity and virginity are lost. To be technically able to claim physical integrity is a sham. Those who fall and then are able to avoid such acts in the future are to be commended, but baby, I would not call them virgins.
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(I agree.)

Holy Virgin of virgins…

Mother most pure,
Mother most chaste,
Mother inviolate,
Mother undefiled,

Virgin most prudent,
Virgin most venerable,
Virgin most renowned,
Virgin most powerful,
Virgin most merciful,
Virgin most faithful…

Pray for us!
 
LovedForever said:
Kissing is sex too - but it is NOT “fornication.” Fornication has a specific meaning. As does adultery.

When you reference “extramarital sex” you are now discussing ADULTERY - not “fornication.” Fornication is limited to UNMARRIED people.
Likewise, an unmarried person cannot commit “adultery.”
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First, how is kissing actually sex? That doesn’t make any sense at all.

Second, no one should be having oral sex – married or unmarried. Oral stimulation is acceptable within marriage if it is followed by intercourse.
 
SEX is sex!

So, i would say you’re not a virgin but you have taken a vow of purity until marriage so to speak.

Just my humble opinion!
 
ElizabethAnne said:
First, how is kissing actually sex? That doesn’t make any sense at all.

Second, no one should be having oral sex – married or unmarried. Oral stimulation is acceptable within marriage if it is followed by intercourse.
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That is where is things get confused, one person’s definition of oral sex is different than anothers. Some people equate oral sex as the same as oral stimulation.

Just a bunch of words.
 
Virginity is the condition of never having taken part in the act of sexual intercourse, meaning the penis is inserted into the vagina. If you haven’t done that then you are technically a virgin. Though historically speaking virginity, or lack of same, is really more an issue of whether as woman has ever been entered. Or more specifically if the hymen was intact. While a woman can certainly break the hymen because of exercise and other activites besides sex, there is some physical proof of virginity. Nothing similar exists for men.

Oral sex has always been considered an act of sodomy, and as such is not fornication.
 
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