Vocation Advice Please!

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birdie74

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Hello all-
I have been feeling this tug at my heart for awhile now, telling me that maybe I have a vocation to be a nun. I haven’t told anyone at all yet, because frankly, pride is making me afraid that people will think, “Her? How can she presume to think that she is worthy to be a nun?” and then they will have to awkwardly think of some polite way to discourage me. I am also a little awed and frightened by the enormous sacrifice it will require. I know that I have a lot of work to do morally before I will be ready to be a good nun. The desire to give myself totally is not going away, so I know I need to bring it out into the open. Obviously, I need to get the advice and counsel of a priest, and I need to tell my family too. How do you guys suggest that I ask my parish priest about this? I don’t know him that well, should I just ask him in the confessional one day? Or is the confessional only a place to confess sins? And what should I say? I am also worried about telling my family, but I think once I tell the priest he can help me figure out everything else. Thank you so much in advance for any advice you have for me! God bless, and happy Feast of the Epiphany!!!
 
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birdie74:
Hello all-
I have been feeling this tug at my heart for awhile now, telling me that maybe I have a vocation to be a nun. I haven’t told anyone at all yet, because frankly, pride is making me afraid that people will think, “Her? How can she presume to think that she is worthy to be a nun?” and then they will have to awkwardly think of some polite way to discourage me. I am also a little awed and frightened by the enormous sacrifice it will require. I know that I have a lot of work to do morally before I will be ready to be a good nun. The desire to give myself totally is not going away, so I know I need to bring it out into the open. Obviously, I need to get the advice and counsel of a priest, and I need to tell my family too. How do you guys suggest that I ask my parish priest about this? I don’t know him that well, should I just ask him in the confessional one day? Or is the confessional only a place to confess sins? And what should I say? I am also worried about telling my family, but I think once I tell the priest he can help me figure out everything else. Thank you so much in advance for any advice you have for me! God bless, and happy Feast of the Epiphany!!!
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Of course you can bring it up in confession. Last time I looked, there wasn’t a big crowd waiting . . . No need to bring it up with your family at this point. Often they are the WORST people to talk to. For example, I recently learned of a young man whose parents were upset that he felt called to priesthood because they had only one other child and wanted more grandchildren. They even told him they had contracepted to keep the family small (!?) . They felt he should acquiesce to their wishes . . . Go figure.

If this has been nagging at you for years, I would say – go for it. If you enter a community, you’ll soon know whether you have a vocation to that community. THEY’LL figure it out FOR you if you can’t figure it out on your own.

One of the worst things that can happen is to come to the age where the option is no longer open to you and to feel that you never gave it the chance God was asking of you.
Godspeed.
 
Wow, how wonderful! If I were you, I would call the parish office to make an appointment to talk to the priest. Also, I believe there is a “vocations director” position in the diocese - you could call them.

You’ve probably heard the saying: God doesn’t call the equipped, He equips the called.

Pray, and follow your heart.
 
It is difficult to find a good priest these days. See if you can find one you trust. Avoid people with Hidden Agendas. Find an order with a prominate Agenda you like, like Sisters of Charity, Carmelites, dominicans or alike. Orders with hidden agendas are on the decline, like Teaching, Such as Sister of Notre Damn. When was the last time you saw a school full of SSNDs? WHile the Cloistered nuns of Carmelite are building a $30 Million dollar COnvent. Someone here will probably attack me but look at the figures and than try to discern what order your interested in. COntact that order and ask the vocational director if you can go on retreat. Feel free to speak your mind when your on retreat and ask questions. Even if they are “stupid” questions.
 
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nobody:
Wow, how wonderful! If I were you, I would call the parish office to make an appointment to talk to the priest. Also, I believe there is a “vocations director” position in the diocese - you could call them.
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Bill_A:
COntact that order and ask the vocational director if you can go on retreat. Feel free to speak your mind when your on retreat and ask questions. Even if they are “stupid” questions.
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I’d just like to second the advice given above. When I began discernment, the first thing I did was make an appointment with one of the priests at my parish. After talking it over with him, he put me in touch with the Archdiocesan vocations director. We met several times, and I was able to participate in some discernment activities sponsored by the Archdiocese. He will most likely be able to help you narrow down the Orders you’d be interested in investigating, and put you in touch with the vocations people there. Check out your Diocesan website to see if they have a vocations page.

Like Bill_A mentioned, if you can arrange to go on a retreat, do it! I can’t tell you how helpful they are. In fact, I just got back myself from a discernment retreat a few days ago with Cardinal Keeler, and it really helped me “tune in” to God’s call in my life. So if you can participate in one, don’t hesitate to do it.

My final piece of advice: prayer, prayer, and more prayer. Personally, I find that the time I spend in eucharistic adoration to be the most comforting, and most beneficial. I find that I can really listen to God without the normal distractions of life, which helps me beyond all measure.

Oh, lest I forget, don’t procrastinate in talking to someone. The sooner you can discuss your calling, the more your mind will be at ease, and you will be able to discern in a more prayerful, and less distracted manner (as for your parents, if you believe they won’t be supportive, then I wouldn’t mention it until you are certain of your plans…it can be a real discouraging experience, and lead to self-doubt about your call). My prayers are with you!
 
Go talk to the mistress of vocations at a convent that interests you. She will probably think the idea that anyone is worthy to be the bride of Christ a very sweet one, maybe even a bit amusing. At any rate, she will know how to help you, and will only discourage any rashness in your decision.
 
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mtr01:
I’d just like to second the advice given above. When I began discernment, the first thing I did was make an appointment with one of the priests at my parish. After talking it over with him, he put me in touch with the Archdiocesan vocations director. We met several times, and I was able to participate in some discernment activities sponsored by the Archdiocese. He will most likely be able to help you narrow down the Orders you’d be interested in investigating, and put you in touch with the vocations people there. Check out your Diocesan website to see if they have a vocations page.

Like Bill_A mentioned, if you can arrange to go on a retreat, do it! I can’t tell you how helpful they are. In fact, I just got back myself from a discernment retreat a few days ago with Cardinal Keeler, and it really helped me “tune in” to God’s call in my life. So if you can participate in one, don’t hesitate to do it.

My final piece of advice: prayer, prayer, and more prayer. Personally, I find that the time I spend in eucharistic adoration to be the most comforting, and most beneficial. I find that I can really listen to God without the normal distractions of life, which helps me beyond all measure.

Oh, lest I forget, don’t procrastinate in talking to someone. The sooner you can discuss your calling, the more your mind will be at ease, and you will be able to discern in a more prayerful, and less distracted manner (as for your parents, if you believe they won’t be supportive, then I wouldn’t mention it until you are certain of your plans…it can be a real discouraging experience, and lead to self-doubt about your call). My prayers are with you!
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MTR, you are in my Diocese.

The reason I said Ask alot of questions is I think the Baltimore Diocese and alot of other diocese have a hidden agenda. So I would say, if you think your diocese has a hidden agenda ask questions. A good question would be. Does your diocese have a Gay Ministry? If yes than ask What the agenda of such a ministry would be. If it is to minister to say Gay people as other people that is fine. If it is an egenda that says, Hey sinning is okay and God loves sinners that is a dangerous agenda. We should never as Catholics never condone sinful behavior but administer pennance.
 
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Bill_A:
It is difficult to find a good priest these days. See if you can find one you trust. Avoid people with Hidden Agendas. Find an order with a prominate Agenda you like, like Sisters of Charity, Carmelites, dominicans or alike. Orders with hidden agendas are on the decline, like Teaching, Such as Sister of Notre Damn. When was the last time you saw a school full of SSNDs? WHile the Cloistered nuns of Carmelite are building a $30 Million dollar COnvent. Someone here will probably attack me but look at the figures and than try to discern what order your interested in. COntact that order and ask the vocational director if you can go on retreat. Feel free to speak your mind when your on retreat and ask questions. Even if they are “stupid” questions.
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i HAD AN SND TELL ME IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE WOMEN WOULD BE PRIESTS
SND’S DEFINITELY NOT THE WAY TO GO. TRY SISTER’S OF MARY, MOTHER OF THE EUCHARIST, GO ONLINE AND YOU’LL SEE THEM, TYPE IN THE TITLE I JUST GAVE. AWWWWWWESOME. SND’S…PAAAAATHETIC

PEACE AND LOVE AND GO FOR IT!
 
Is there any particular order which you feel attracted to? Or is it just a more general sense of call?

If there is some specific community or apostolate which interests you, it would be a good idea to contact them. They can then help guide and direct you from there. OTOH, if you are not certain, then it woud be advisable to find a good spiritual director (this could be a priest, a religious, or some other lay person who is spiriually wise and can lead you) to assist you in your discernment.
 
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cyprian:
i HAD AN SND TELL ME IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE WOMEN WOULD BE PRIESTS
SND’S DEFINITELY NOT THE WAY TO GO. TRY SISTER’S OF MARY, MOTHER OF THE EUCHARIST, GO ONLINE AND YOU’LL SEE THEM, TYPE IN THE TITLE I JUST GAVE. AWWWWWWESOME. SND’S…PAAAAATHETIC

PEACE AND LOVE AND GO FOR IT!
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TADA! Hidden Agenda = no vocations = dead order.
 
I have gained the most help form contacting people at religious orders who are in charge of dealing with vocations. Even when the order did not necessarily seem right for me (or me for them), the vocational directors went out fo their way to give me references of other communties, and still talk to me and provide great guidance and insight.

The vocational director at my dioscese was absolutely no help. The priest said contact the department of vocations at the dioscese (his extent of help)…“look it up on the web site and get the details.” I emailed them. No response. Called them. They said write us an email. emailed them again…no response…

As far as talking to your parents, I would wait until you have a specific plan of action. Once you definitely established that you have a vocation within a religious order and know either exactly where you could be accepted as a candidate or at least have a short list of possibilities from which you will make your final decision.
 
i am also feeling that tug in my heart. and yeah, telling ppl, they do sort look at me and scoff, cuz i know i am not perfect. but, u know what? no one is. God doesn’t look at our imperfections, but only the love we put into the things, the effort we make to continue to be better, on a daily basis, no matter how many times we fall. remember, God is calling you for a reason, let Him make of you what He will. the sacrifice of it also intimidated me for a while, thinking about it. but really, as your relationship with God deepens, as you pursue your calling, you start to become more detached from those things that u once thought u could never live without. don’t worry about the sacrifices required of u, God will give you the grace, just put your trust in Him and you will be lacking nothing. and besides, religious orders have systems in place to introduce candidates to their life one step at a time, so that you’re not overwhelmed from day one. they won’t expect you to be the perfect nun the day you enter. about telling your parish priest, i guess that depends on your priests. you don’t have to go to them. but if you do, just tell them what’s been on your heart. simply, honestly. vocation.com is also a wonderful resourse for those discerning a call to the priesthood or religious life. you can even contact them about finding a spiritual director or retreats in your area. they’re very friendly.

God love you,
Brenda.
 
Be not afraid!!!

“What if others think I’m not worthy enough to be a nun? What if they think I’m just putting on airs.” Of course you are not worthy enough to be a nun, and neither were any of the saints before. If God is calling you to be a nun, and you do your part and you keep your prayers, He will give you the grace.

Start doing your research and keep learning the faith. When you meet a preist or an order you feel good about, talk to them.

No worries, one way or another good will come from the discernment. Even if you don’t become a nun, you will have grown much spiritually. Just trust, you can never out do God in generosity.
 
Dear friend

It sounds to me that you have a vocation…it won’t go away and you are afraid, that all sounds pretty normal to me. No-one is worthy of service to God in His Holy priesthood or as a Nun, not one person alive is worthy of that, but God makes you worthy by His call and He will pave the way if you follow Him.

My vocation did not go away, nor was I very impressed with the thought of a lifetime commitment like that! Nor did I think I was worthy, nor did I think I could achieve very much, you know we all think we can do great things for God and the next minute we are sinning and doing the very things we do not want to do, that is our broken humanity and our weakness as a human, remember you will never be perfect, only two were perfect and that was Mary and Jesus, we are only perfect after death. St Paul speaks at length on this.

Being a Nun will not make you a NON-SINNER, you will still sin, you will still be human after you take vows, but you are called to holiness as is any Catholic. Your call is to build up the body of Christ and to serve God and His people in a Holy Vocation. He has called you and I am not going to pray that you answer because dear friend, you will answer regardless of what anyone says, family, friends or otherwise, you will make that step.

I am going to pray that you persevere!

God Bless you and much love and peace to you

Teresa
 
Birdie,

May God bless you and give you the stength you need to do His Will!

I identify totally with your feelings. The sacrifice of what He is asking you to do is certainly scary at times, but if there is one thing I have come to know it is: God never brings us to a point in life without also giving you the graces you need to get through that point in life. Often, He gives much more than that with it!
I was terrified to tell my family and b/c it scared me so much, I prayed and prayed about it. And do you know what? I was strengthened as I was talking to them. I could feel my courage and the strength stream from me. Pray.
Remeber too that He knows what He is asking of you, and it takes courage to respond. Just look at Mary, she had questions, but she said ‘yes!’ regardless and God took care of her.

About your desire to give yourself so entirely to God- have you responded to His promtings yet? I don’t mean to sound pushy, but I felt the same thing, and when I said “Yes!” it was like I was empowered to overcome the things that I found so difficult. (ie: telling parents, priests…)

I was nervous about telling my priest about my vocation too, and then it just hit me- 'hey, he’s knows what it’s like- he is, after all- a priest!" and it made things easier on me. I just opened up and told him, taking a deep breath and dived in. He has been so supportive.

Let me know if you’d like to talk more: we can set something up.

God Bless!
Jade
 
Good for you. All I know is what Mother Angelica said. She thought she wanted to be a nun and she just kept trying one convent after another until she found one that would take her.
Don’t be discouraged. On the other hand, be choosy, too.

Just a thought – look for the type of convent where you would satisfy your educational objectives, such as if you wanted to become a bible scholar and teacher, or an administrator, or a care giver of some type. I think there is a tremendous need for spiritual directors out there (here).

“Cross the line” with your whole mind and body and throw yourself into it, without reservations. Life is short. Start doing the Lord’s work at the earliest. The harvest is great.
 
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