Vocation dreams

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fraisinette

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I’ve been unwell and sleeping a lot lately. What’s strange about my sleep is that I’ve been dreaming rather intensely about my vocation.

I’m 26 and unmarried, I’ve never dated, but I feel that my calling is to marriage and motherhood. Since it seems like all of the Catholics I know married right out of college or close to it, I feel old and left out.

I’ve recently had two dreams that haunt me. In one, I gave birth to a baby girl and felt so much joy that I can’t even articulate it. I didn’t even want to wake up. In the other, I joined a community of sisters but didn’t really want to. I didn’t even invite my parents to the ceremony because I knew they would be ashamed of me. (I’m an only child and they want grandchildren, and my father isn’t Catholic besides.)

At the same time as all of this, people tell me that maybe the fact that I’m not married yet is a sign that I’m supposed to stay single. If so, why would I be tortured with dreams where I’m a joyful mother? Is that the work of my subconscious, or of God?

I wish that I knew what these dreams are telling me, and I wish they wouldn’t haunt me so.
 
Do you feel a calling to help the disadvantaged, the poor, sick, needy? Have you done any charitable work like working in a soup kitchen, hospital etc.? If not, these may be good things to try. Vocations are not just about the liturgy, we are asked to help those less fortunate because they are formed in the image of God.

That may be a reasonable next step in helping you discern!
 
fraisinette said:
I’ve been unwell and sleeping a lot lately. What’s strange about my sleep is that I’ve been dreaming rather intensely about my vocation.

I’m 26 and unmarried, I’ve never dated, but I feel that my calling is to marriage and motherhood. Since it seems like all of the Catholics I know married right out of college or close to it, I feel old and left out.

I’ve recently had two dreams that haunt me. In one, I gave birth to a baby girl and felt so much joy that I can’t even articulate it. I didn’t even want to wake up. In the other, I joined a community of sisters but didn’t really want to. I didn’t even invite my parents to the ceremony because I knew they would be ashamed of me. (I’m an only child and they want grandchildren, and my father isn’t Catholic besides.)

At the same time as all of this, people tell me that maybe the fact that I’m not married yet is a sign that I’m supposed to stay single. If so, why would I be tortured with dreams where I’m a joyful mother? Is that the work of my subconscious, or of God?

I wish that I knew what these dreams are telling me, and I wish they wouldn’t haunt me so.
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A couple of things come to mind. First…26 is young. More and more women are waiting until later to get married and have children (especially well educated women). The ones that tend to get married very early sometimes are part of the trend of what social scientists call “starter marriages”. Those are the kind in which they marry someone that they consciously or subconsciouly have no intention of staying married to. They eventually get divorced and marry someone else and have kids, etc. Not the route to go.

So…you are young and in no way shape or form out of the marriage arena.

Second, as for vocation. Maybe you have one. I would test it and see if you feel strongly (make a retreat/visit with a spiritual director, etc). The fact that you seem to feel a strong call to marriage and motherhood may mean you are not called to concecrated life. That does not mean that you cannot be married and be a member of a Third Order (eg Carmelite/Domincan) and so on where you could in a sense fulfill both vocations.

Best wishes!

RevNorth
 
I don’t know if I would put too much stock into dreams. I think our subconsious mind works out a lot during our dreams, but I don’t think that God necessarily speaks to us in that way. For instance, last night, before I went to bed, I was reading a book about Benedictine Spirituality. All night, I kept having dreams that I was living in a monestary, and I was praying the Divine Office in all of these dreams. Now, lets face it, I don’t think God is trying to tell me to leave my husband and kids and join a Benedictine Monestary. I think that the Lord will lead you to your vocation eventually, but I don’t think that a few dreams are going to tell you how your life should be led.
 
The fact that you are single does not at all mean that you have a religious vocation. Some female saints had guys lining up to marry them but turned them all down for Jesus. The idea that those women who enter religious life are those who couldn’t get anyone else is totally wrong, and could lead to an unhappy life. It is also not about the work that relgious do. If you feel drawn to service and the poor, that is an insufficient reason to think you are called to relgious life. (Married saints did the same.) Religious vocation is first and foremost a invitation to be a bride of Christ and love Him single-heartedly. Its a beautiful life that you should reflect on but if you feel no pull towards this life, than there’s no reason to think you are called just because you haven’t met someone yet. God may have a husband waiting out there for you and a beautiful family life planned for you. Peace,
God Bless,
Sarah
 
I say this a lot about dreams, but St. John of the Cross warned not to put too much stock into dreams. I would consult a priest about them if you really are curious. Its not unknown for God to talk to people in dreams, IE Joseph, Daniel, Pharoah, Joseph (father of Jesus)…but at the same time I personally would try to look at why you are having these dreams.

Again, consult a priest or Mother Angelica. 👍
 
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