Vocations Discernment Question

  • Thread starter Thread starter Vir_Deus
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
V

Vir_Deus

Guest
I am currently a Junior and highschool and have been experiencing growing feelings about the possibilty of entering a seminary. I have one problem that has been tearing at my heart however and I would like some advice. A few years ago a kid had convinced me into commiting a homosexual action with him. I am in no way a homosexual and I don’t know why I allowed myself to be tricked into it. Afterwards I’ve experienced great amounts of regret, even till this day. I pray to God almost everyday for forgiveness. I am a completely different person now and that was the only thing serious that I have ever done wrong in my life this far. I believe that if it had never happened I would feel strongly enough in that I would give the seminary a try. Obviously I do not know if I truly am called to the Priesthood, but could that one foolish action ruin everything for me? If so, I honestly would feel devistated, that that one mistake could come back to impact my future so significantly.
 
Vir_Deus said:
I am currently a Junior and highschool and have been experiencing growing feelings about the possibilty of entering a seminary. I have one problem that has been tearing at my heart however and I would like some advice. A few years ago a kid had convinced me into commiting a homosexual action with him. I am in no way a homosexual and I don’t know why I allowed myself to be tricked into it. Afterwards I’ve experienced great amounts of regret, even till this day. I pray to God almost everyday for forgiveness. I am a completely different person now and that was the only thing serious that I have ever done wrong in my life this far. I believe that if it had never happened I would feel strongly enough in that I would give the seminary a try. Obviously I do not know if I truly am called to the Priesthood, but could that one foolish action ruin everything for me? If so, I honestly would feel devistated, that that one mistake could come back to impact my future so significantly.
Click to expand...
Have you gone for confession about this?
 
I did make an attempt to but I don’t think it was satisfactory enough. I told the priest that commited a sexual action but didn’t go into more specifics. I guess it is something I always wanted to take back and never have happened but it still bothers me, guilt wise. Other than this issue, which I do believe to be serious, I consider myself to be a good person and a good Catholic. I’m involved a lot at my church and school. It was something completely out of character and does not reflect who I am or aspire to be.
 
Vir_Deus said:
I did make an attempt to but I don’t think it was satisfactory enough. I told the priest that commited a sexual action but didn’t go into more specifics. I guess it is something I always wanted to take back and never have happened but it still bothers me, guilt wise. Other than this issue, which I do believe to be serious, I consider myself to be a good person and a good Catholic. I’m involved a lot at my church and school. It was something completely out of character and does not reflect who I am or aspire to be.
Click to expand...
Regardless of whatever else one does, a Sin remains a Sin. You be a good Catholic in many other aspects, but following Christ requires an emptying of oneself. Sin is contrary to one’s nature, but it still makes one unclean.
 
Ok, I agree with that but, it still does not answer my original question.
 
If this is just one sin then we all suffer. Your situation is no different than many other people who commit grave sins. God is a God of mercy and forgiveness, so a true act of contrition, exemplified through the sacrament of Confession, puts you back in the arms of your God.

I am discerning a path to the Diaconate, and I was once concerned about whether I was “worthy” being a sinner in the eyes of God. I received great advice form my pastor
that may help you, he said “God chooses His biggest sinners to do His work” ;). One other priest once told me, “God qualifies the called, He does not call the qualified”.

I hope that helps - look at the lives of the Apostles, they were far from perfect as well. Accept God’s forgiveness and move on.
 
Hey Vir,
I think what you would need to do is first talk to a spiritual director about what happened and what you’re feeling now. And second, talk to a few vocations directors. I have a feeling different directors would have different takes on the impact of this. I think the hardest thing is going to be being completely honest with these people in explaining yourself.

No one but a vocations director can tell you what the impact will be.
 
Vir_Deus said:
Ok, I agree with that but, it still does not answer my original question.
Click to expand...
Ok maybe I should elaborate further. A Vocation comes from God, no matter what state of life that we are in. One can think that one is a good Catholic, but it is of no consequence. The yardstick used to measure is not those around, its God’s standard that we are measured by, and all of us fall short. It is very important to realise that God call and raises the meek and humble of heart, not those who think they are ‘good’. In discernment it is extremely important to first recognise our own weaknesses and draw on God’s strength and be totally transformed. By our own strength we are nothing, but with God’s power we work miracles.

This is where confession comes into the picture. Be humble and realise that you are weak and a lot will suddenly fall into place.
 
Vir_Deus said:
I am currently a Junior and highschool and have been experiencing growing feelings about the possibilty of entering a seminary. I have one problem that has been tearing at my heart however and I would like some advice. A few years ago a kid had convinced me into commiting a homosexual action with him. I am in no way a homosexual and I don’t know why I allowed myself to be tricked into it. Afterwards I’ve experienced great amounts of regret, even till this day. I pray to God almost everyday for forgiveness. I am a completely different person now and that was the only thing serious that I have ever done wrong in my life this far. I believe that if it had never happened I would feel strongly enough in that I would give the seminary a try. Obviously I do not know if I truly am called to the Priesthood, but could that one foolish action ruin everything for me? If so, I honestly would feel devistated, that that one mistake could come back to impact my future so significantly.
Click to expand...
Any sexual actions, outside of marriage, regardless of whether they are homosexual or heterosexual, are grave (mortal) sins. Before you can go forward with any vocation, you must come to terms with this- be honest with yourself and why you allowed yourslef to be “tricked” into this.
 
Vir Deus, God bless you for considering a religious vocation. It’s a decision to be made in prayer and grace.

The very first thing you ought to do is Confess this particular sin by name. Tell the priest honestly. If you don’t do this then you could jeopardize a religious vocation. Once you have Confessed it don’t worry about it anymore.

Skip this if you have already done it: The next thing you should do is talk with your parish priest. Set a time to meet him and explain that you feel you may have a vocation to religious life. It may also be a good idea now to get the contact information for your vocations director (Your priest can furnish you with this).

Third, get a spiritual director. It can be anyone who you would like. Simply ask them for spiritual direction. Make sure it’s someone you can trust both personally and spiritually (IE. Someone who won’t lead you astray). Your spiritual director is someone you’ll have to be very honest with so you’ll want to be able to trust them.

Sorry to dictate all that, it may seem like a lot but it’s really not. Your priest will probably provide you with all the information necessary for everything above. Just a few notes left:

Do you know whether you want to be a diocesan or religious priest? You’ll probably want to choose a diocesan spiritual director if you feel closer to diocesan priesthood. The same applies for religious priesthood, except of course a religious priest as a spiritual director in this case. Have you ever prayed the Liturgy of the Hours? Does your parish have a time to celebrate the Hours? (Don’t know what it is? Ask your priest). You may also want to listen to this recording about vocations, it’s quite informative.

Anyway, I think I’ll end here. I’ve typed enough as is. I hope I’m not as confusing as I seem. Feel free to ask any questions of me (I’m also discerning a vocation into the ministerial priesthood so I may be of some service).

God bless, pray for fellow discerners!
 
First off thanks for the advice. It really does help. My first opportunity I get I will go to confession and get a clean slate so to speak. Sometimes I just end up worring I am not worthy enough for such an honor, but what someone said earlier: “God chooses His biggest sinners to do His work” . One other priest once told me, “God qualifies the called, He does not call the qualified”. That really does make a lot of sense to me. If anything throught all of this so far I have learned how badly I really need God’s help with everything I do. It is extremely easy as a teen to believe you can do it all on your own, but in reality teens need Him more than ever. Also I am beginning to learn to evaluate my decisions carefully so I do not live to regret them later.

Focusing more on my discernment, I do not know specificially how to explain it. I think what first got me to think of it was a dream I had had that I was at the ceremony being ordained. I always get an undescribable feeling in my chest when it comes to mind, even now as I am writting this. I love helping others and more than anything I want to make a difference in our world and not take the usual route of going to a job for the sake of making money and nothing else and not turly enjoy it. I don’t know how much sense I am really making, I’m having a little trouble putting it into words. I can picture myself being happy as a priest and I believe I am at least being called to explore it further.

I do not know many specifics however on how to get the ball rolling, so to speak, on what I should be doing other than prayer and finding a someone to help guide me through this important part of my life. I also know very little about the specifics of the process of entering a seminary or college degrees, knowing if it is truly what I am being called to, and other things of that nature. It keeps me busy enough just trying to be a student.

So I really could you some advice on things here.
 
Hello!

While internet forums are all well and good, at this stage in your discernment, I strongly suggest that you speak to a priest at your parish, or contact your diocese’s vocations office and make an appointment to talk to the vocations director. These priests will be able to help you find the path that God is calling you to. I know it is intimidating to call people and tell them things about yourself like this, that you probably wouldn’t want to tell anyone else. It took me a long time before I contacted the vocations director in my diocese. But it is a necessary step! Take courage. You are young yet- I recognize that feeling of urgency. I share it. But part of the reason for the great length of formation for the priesthood is to quell that urgency. This is not something to be undertaken lightly- least of all according to the advice of random anonymous people on a message board.

Bottom line: go talk to a priest! Tell him about your entire situation, and ask for his guidance. I think you’ll be glad you did.
 
Vir_Deus said:
Focusing more on my discernment, I do not know specificially how to explain it. I think what first got me to think of it was a dream I had had that I was at the ceremony being ordained. I always get an undescribable feeling in my chest when it comes to mind, even now as I am writting this. I love helping others and more than anything I want to make a difference in our world and not take the usual route of going to a job for the sake of making money and nothing else and not turly enjoy it. I don’t know how much sense I am really making, I’m having a little trouble putting it into words. I can picture myself being happy as a priest and I believe I am at least being called to explore it further.

I do not know many specifics however on how to get the ball rolling, so to speak, on what I should be doing other than prayer and finding a someone to help guide me through this important part of my life. I also know very little about the specifics of the process of entering a seminary or college degrees, knowing if it is truly what I am being called to, and other things of that nature. It keeps me busy enough just trying to be a student.

So I really could you some advice on things here.
Click to expand...
The next biggest hurdle that one has to cross is actually telling your parents about wanting to consider discerning a vocation to the Priesthood or Religious Life. Some people do this quite late, but from my own experience, doing it early gets a great weight off your chest, simply because you are being honest to your parents. Knowing where your parents stand is very important and eventually Vocation Directors would pop the question.

The other important aspect is finding a good orthodox spiritual director to guide you along as you discern.

As for the calling itself, each is unique in its own right. Best to take it up with your Spiritual Director 🙂 The entry requirements are different for different places or Orders, but generally written testimonials are required, along with interviews, psycometric tests. But the definites are baptised and confirmed Catholic.

May the intercession of the BVM be always with you.
 
Vir Deus, don’t worry so much about “getting the ball rolling”. A bunch of people here could write various things about entrance requirements but each diocese differs. When you talk to your priest and Vocations Director you’ll be able to ask these questions and get specific answers for you personally. Ask any question that comes to mind, even the very strange and silly sounding.

You should also tell your parents as soon as possible, as demerzal85 suggested. Telling them you’re considering religious life can be difficult but it’s a necessary step, especially if you think they won’t support it (Since it gives them that much more time to consider it).

God bless you, His mother protect you under her mantle.
 
Aureole said:
Skip this if you have already done it: The next thing you should do is talk with your parish priest. Set a time to meet him and explain that you feel you may have a vocation to religious life. It may also be a good idea now to get the contact information for your vocation director (Your priest can furnish you with this).

Third, get a spiritual director. It can be anyone who you would like. Simply ask them for spiritual direction. Make sure it’s someone you can trust both personally and spiritually (IE. Someone who won’t lead you astray). Your spiritual director is someone you’ll have to be very honest with so you’ll want to be able to trust them.

Sorry to dictate all that, it may seem like a lot but it’s really not. Your priest will probably provide you with all the information necessary for everything above. Just a few notes left:

Do you know whether you want to be a diocesan or religious priest? You’ll probably want to choose a diocesan spiritual director if you feel closer to diocesan priesthood. The same applies for religious priesthood, except of course a religious priest as a spiritual director in this case. Have you ever prayed the Liturgy of the Hours? Does your parish have a time to celebrate the Hours? (Don’t know what it is? Ask your priest). You may also want to listen to this recording about vocations, it’s quite informative.

God bless, pray for fellow discerners!
Click to expand...
Very clear explanation. Thanks for the link to the mp3. 🙂
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top