Waiting till husband is ready to have second child?

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FullOfThought

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My hubby and I have recently been blessed with the most adorable little boy, he is now 4 months old. He’s an excellent eater, sleeper, rarely cries, wakes a lot at night to nurse but goes straight back asleep. I’d say he’s a very easy baby 🙂

I am ovulating again, even though exclusively breastfeeding and I am ready to get pregnant again.

My hubby is not ready yet though. He says it’s because we had a emotionally challenging pregnancy with a few scares and he feels I need more time, but I think it’s because he is genuinely not ready to add another child yet… and that is absolutely fine with me.

My question is, is using nfp to avoid pregnancy till we both feel like conceiving a good enough reason to not get pregnant? Not for any financial, medical reasons.

Thank you!!
 
FullOfThought said:
My hubby and I have recently been blessed with the most adorable little boy, he is now 4 months old. He’s an excellent eater, sleeper, rarely cries, wakes a lot at night to nurse but goes straight back asleep. I’d say he’s a very easy baby 🙂

I am ovulating again, even though exclusively breastfeeding and I am ready to get pregnant again.

My hubby is not ready yet though. He says it’s because we had a emotionally challenging pregnancy with a few scares and he feels I need more time, but I think it’s because he is genuinely not ready to add another child yet… and that is absolutely fine with me.

My question is, is using nfp to avoid pregnancy till we both feel like conceiving a good enough reason to not get pregnant? Not for any financial, medical reasons.

Thank you!!
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Definitely, it’s a good reason to avoid using NFP. Your husband just needs a breather.

Your second baby may not be as easy 🙂
 
I think it’s a good reason, too. First, your body does need time to heal and fully recover from the rigors of pregnancy, birth, and breast feeding. Most doctors recommend waiting a year before trying to conceive again. Second, time to bond with the baby as individual parents and with each other as a family is important. Third, as the poster above me said, the next baby might not be so easy! My first baby was also an easy baby. My second…not so much, lol.
 
Financial and medical considerations aren’t the only reason to postpone. Psychological / emotional reasons are valid, too. They’re often not as clear cut, though. It’s a lot easier to recognize the financial and medical obstabcles. But that doesn’t make the psychological / emotional issues any less important.
 
I understand how you feel, but are you prepared to give up breastfeeding and switch to formula? While moms can nurse during pregnancy, their supply drops by quite a bit at around 8-12 weeks. It is exceedingly rare that a mom can sustain an exclusively breastfed baby during pregnancy and almost all need to supplement heavily by 12 weeks. The moms I’ve worked with who find themselves pregnant before 9-12 months postpartum are rarely prepared for how difficult it is to cut nursing so short.

Siblings are a gift and a blessing, but each baby deserves to be an infant, and each mom deserves to heal and restore her nutrient reserves before another pregnancy. It is uncommon that you have found yourself fertile so quickly after childbirth. I would pray long and hard about what your existing child would be giving up in order to expidite a very-close–in-age sibling. Waiting 6-8 months is not long at all, would give you more time to heal, your husband some breathing room, and your baby a chance to be your sole focus for a proper amount of time before you moved on to the next infant. You would simply be mimicking a more normal and healthy anovulatory period by using NFP during that time. And your kids would still be very close in age!

Best of luck discerning the right path.
 
JackieMom said:
I understand how you feel, but are you prepared to give up breastfeeding and switch to formula? While moms can nurse during pregnancy, their supply drops by quite a bit at around 8-12 weeks. It is exceedingly rare that a mom can sustain an exclusively breastfed baby during pregnancy and almost all need to supplement heavily by 12 weeks. The moms I’ve worked with who find themselves pregnant before 9-12 months postpartum are rarely prepared for how difficult it is to cut nursing so short.

Siblings are a gift and a blessing, but each baby deserves to be an infant, and each mom deserves to heal and restore her nutrient reserves before another pregnancy. It is uncommon that you have found yourself fertile so quickly after childbirth. I would pray long and hard about what your existing child would be giving up in order to expidite a very-close–in-age sibling. Waiting 6-8 months is not long at all, would give you more time to heal, your husband some breathing room, and your baby a chance to be your sole focus for a proper amount of time before you moved on to the next infant. You would simply be mimicking a more normal and healthy anovulatory period by using NFP during that time. And your kids would still be very close in age!

Best of luck discerning the right path.
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Good points to consider. I have known couples that wanted to have two kids very close together so that they could grow up together almost like twins by having a sibling very close in age. But yeah, when my 1st was 4 months old, having the next one was the furthest thing from my mind. :o
 
Joe_5859 said:
Good points to consider. I have known couples that wanted to have two kids very close together so that they could grow up together almost like twins by having a sibling very close in age. But yeah, when my 1st was 4 months old, having the next one was the furthest thing from my mind. :o
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I remember thinking that it was very important to have my first two close in age… But as kids get older 6-12 months becomes less and less obvious. I had a wise mom once tell me, “Never sacrifice the good of a child you do have for one you don’t.” I had a lot of peace sticking by that.
 
I found myself just thinking of you the other day, and wondering how old the baby would be at this time. I’m happy to hear of your sweet little boy. 🙂 Only you and your husband can determine if you have a valid reason to avoid pregnancy. But to offer my opinion, I think it is very fair reasoning. 🙂
 
Thank you all for your kind and encouraging comments!!

I already feel much better knowing its okay to respect my husbands wishes and nurse my son for as long as possible!!

Thank you all dearly!!
 
Your baby is FOUR MONTHS and you want another one already?!

:bigyikes:
 
sdeco said:
Your baby is FOUR MONTHS and you want another one already?!

:bigyikes:
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Yes.

We feel very called to have a large family and I would like our son to have a sibling close in age. It is how my parents had my much younger siblings, and now they are in their late teens and the benefits of having them are numerous.
 
FullOfThought said:
Yes.

We feel very called to have a large family and I would like our son to have a sibling close in age. It is how my parents had my much younger siblings, and now they are in their late teens and the benefits of having them are numerous.
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I always wondered how families managed to be able to fit in 10 or 12 kids in their child-bearing years. This is how. 😛

But who knows, maybe your husband won’t need more than a few months to come around. I know that I usually need time to get used to life-altering changes. My wife has to psychologicall prep me months in advance. 😛
 
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