Was I wrong?

[Houro]

I recently spoke out against the local gay and lesbian mardi gras using my ‘status’ on facebook. I work in the public hospital system and many of my co-workers are homosexual. Many of them are now acting differently towards me and I’m wondering if I did the right thing. The mardi gras is a hotbed for immoral thought and action here. I want to know what you all think.

I understand the need for compassion, but should we be silenced on social issues like this because of a fear of reprisal? I feel bad that I’ve made them feel bad and this sin’t my intention, but I feel that not enough people stand up agaisnt issues like abortion and homosexuality because they fear that people they work with or socialise with will not ‘like’ them anymore.

Please give me your feedback.

Thanks!

 

[JRKH]

You were not wrong to speak out.

It may be possible that you were wrong in the “way” you spoke out if you spoke in an uncharitable or unchristian way, but certainly we are to speak out.

It is also possible, and even likely, that those who oppose your views as a Catholic, will “treat you differently” no matter HOW charitable your statements were.

Remember when Christ proclaimed the Eucharist in John 6 and disciples walked away saying this is a hard saying - who can listen to it…
He did not change his teaching nor try run after them. He spoke truth… they reacted to it.

Speak the Truth in Love is all we can do.

Peace
James

 

[FCEGM]

I recently spoke out against the local gay and lesbian mardi gras using my ‘status’ on facebook. I work in the public hospital system and many of my co-workers are homosexual. Many of them are now acting differently towards me and I’m wondering if I did the right thing. The mardi gras is a hotbed for immoral thought and action here. I want to know what you all think.

I understand the need for compassion, but should we be silenced on social issues like this because of a fear of reprisal? I feel bad that I’ve made them feel bad and this sin’t my intention, but I feel that not enough people stand up agaisnt issues like abortion and homosexuality because they fear that people they work with or socialise with will not ‘like’ them anymore.

Please give me your feedback.

Thanks!

Our Catholic faith often puts us at odds with the prevalent “culture”, but in season and out we must be willing by God’s grace to speak out on those things that debase the human person. The Lord never promised that following Him would be easy, so we must be willing to be humiliated and scorned as He was - and never lose charity.

 

[musicality]

I honestly think that it depends on what you wrote.

 

[StrawberryJam]

I honestly think that it depends on what you wrote.

 

[Houro]

This is what I wrote:

“Another Sydney gay and lesbian mardi gras passes us and the country slips further and further into perversion… what a discrace to this proud nation…”

I never said anything against gay people, just the parade that apparently ‘represents’ them. It’s pornographic, it encourages promiscuity and is in my backyeard every year. I see it grow more and more every year and I have never heard anybody speak out against it. Everybody just talks about how great it is or they say nothing at all (people are afriad to offend the gay community). I figure that you can either say nothing AND be opposed to it (this let’s society think that it’s fine because they never hear anybody opposing it), or I can speak up and get people thinking that maybe this parade isn’t such a great thing. Otherwise, people just accept it as ‘normal’ since nobody is opposed to it. I thought that I should speak up. Tell me what you think?

Blessings

 

[musicality]

This is what I wrote:

“Another Sydney gay and lesbian mardi gras passes us and the country slips further and further into perversion… what a discrace to this proud nation…”

…]

Tell me what you think?

Blessings

I think your heart was in the correct place. However, do you think that its possible that your statement could have been misinterpreted?

You say:

I never said anything against gay people, just the parade that apparently ‘represents’ them. It’s pornographic, it encourages promiscuity and is in my backyeard every year.

This sort of observation cannot be drawn from the status you posted. If you think it is a good idea, you may want to post another status clarifying what you meant. Use your words carefully.

If I had to paraphrase your status coming from the standpoint of your coworkers it would be as follows:

“What a disgrace it is that we have all these perverted gays and lesbians in Sydney.”

I don’t think that’s what you meant.

 

[roveau]

A lot of people still think attacking homosexuals is a soft option because they are still a marginalized group that only recently are beginning to get their human rights in this secular world we live in - hence your gay colleagues’ reaction. Did you intend to target your gay colleagues because they would be the most likely to read your Facebook?

Maybe, though, you believe you have a sort of ministry to help gays? If so you have to show that your concern stems from love… rather than being right from the distance of Facebook.

If your concern is about immorality I think it would be fair that you equally condemn all promiscuity outside the bonds of matrimony. You will find that you get an even greater… and less subtle… response from the people around you.

In the end analysis only you can answer your question. I just have the feeling that if you had considered ‘how would Chrsit have expressed this’ I think your message may have been better received, especially if you had balanced it out into the subject of sexual morality in general, not just one aspect of it.

 

[crazzeto]

I recently spoke out against the local gay and lesbian mardi gras using my ‘status’ on facebook. I work in the public hospital system and many of my co-workers are homosexual. Many of them are now acting differently towards me and I’m wondering if I did the right thing. The mardi gras is a hotbed for immoral thought and action here. I want to know what you all think.

I understand the need for compassion, but should we be silenced on social issues like this because of a fear of reprisal? I feel bad that I’ve made them feel bad and this sin’t my intention, but I feel that not enough people stand up agaisnt issues like abortion and homosexuality because they fear that people they work with or socialise with will not ‘like’ them anymore.

Please give me your feedback.

Thanks!

Admonishing a sinner is a spiritual work of mercy, so you didn’t do anything wrong as such. I would say as long as it was your intention to plant the seed of Christianity in the minds of the people who attend this festival, and it wasn’t merely to try and “damn them all to hell” then you did the best you could do.

 

[crazzeto]

A lot of people still think attacking homosexuals is a soft option because they are still a marginalized group that only recently are beginning to get their human rights in this secular world we live in - hence your gay colleagues’ reaction. Did you intend to target your gay colleagues because they would be the most likely to read your Facebook?

Maybe, though, you believe you have a sort of ministry to help gays? If so you have to show that your concern stems from love… rather than being right from the distance of Facebook.

If your concern is about immorality I think it would be fair that you equally condemn all promiscuity outside the bonds of matrimony. You will find that you get an even greater… and less subtle… response from the people around you.

In the end analysis only you can answer your question. I just have the feeling that if you had considered ‘how would Chrsit have expressed this’ I think your message may have been better received, especially if you had balanced it out into the subject of sexual morality in general, not just one aspect of it.

I do agree that there is more than enough sexual immorality with in the hetrosexual world to spread around all over the place, I for instance struggle with this my self with my fiance. So I think you do have somewhat of a point in so far as making sure when you do post about such things, you only do so in the greatest of charity, with the intention to bring all who read the posting to Christ.

That said, the fact of the matter is that it is not entirly unfair to say that the sins of hetrosexual immorality and homosexual immorality are indeed unequal in this particular sense:

In the case of hetrosexaul immorality, it’s possible for the sinner to repent of the immoral behaviour, but then later engage in completely moral sexuality in the context of marriage, open to life, with the sexuality conducted in a proper sacramental way.

In the case of homosexaulity, this will never be possible at all. Even in any part of the world where so called “homosexual marriage” is legal, homosexual activity even in the context of false marraige is still equally sinful with sexuality outside of the supposed marriage context. If one accepts (as many people forcefully evangalize) that homosexuality is biological and that the individual has aboslutly no choice whatsoever when it comes to their sexuality, then the only way to repent of the sin and remain in God’s grace is complete abstiance.

So I guess where your posting didn’t quite sit right with me, is where you started pushing aboslute equivilency between hetrosexuality and homosexuality. One can’t do this, even when one acknowleges how gravely depraved an individual can become in a purely hetrosexual context.

But where I thought your posting was spot on (again) whas in so far as remebering that we hetro-sexuals aren’t necessarly standing here with our hands clean of sexual immorality. Like I said in my posting, as long as the facebook posting wasn’t a mere condemnation (or damning to hell) of those participants of this “gay martigras” then the OP did the best he could have.

 

[jumpfrog]

I think you should ask yourself if you would have been willing and comfortable with making that exact comment in conversation with your coworkers, or anyone else, for that matter. Let that be a guide to what is appropriate for you to post.

Although Facebook is not anonymous, neither does it require the same amount of risk, effort, and, for lack of a better word, accountability for what you say. If you said the same thing in conversation, you would likely be challenged on it, whether it be on an ideological basis, or a simple “hey, where do you get off saying such a thing”. You would be forced to deal with the dismay, anger, misunderstanding, perception of yourself as mean/rude etc.

So, in a way, posting on Facebook is kind of a cowardly way to witness…to say nothing of it being unproductive. it will not likely change many hearts, I would guess. It’s pretty hard to open a conversation with someone who has intimated that you are a pervert and a disgrace to the nation! This is especially true if people had never heard you express your views like this.

If they are your ‘friends’ on Facebook–the only way they would have really noticed your status posting–don’t you think this may have come across as a little ‘unfriendly’? It might certainly be confusing. Are they your friends, or aren’t they? Why do you want to be friends with those whose behavior is causing the nation to slip into ‘perversion’ and ‘disgrace’? Why would they want to be friends with you, who has such a negative opinion about their celebration?

Finally, I rather wonder if your co-workers are really treating you differently. Is it possible that you are just being oversensitive and are imagining it, because you anticipated a response to your ‘outspoken’ posting? When I was on Facebook, I barely noticed about 70% of updates, and I think most people are like this.

I would not use Facebook status as a way to make a point. If you want to witness to people who do not have the truth, you should take it more seriously than this ‘hit and run’ approach. Then at least you won’t have to wonder what response people are having…you will find out, pretty quick. And if you are serious about sharing truth with people, you will find ways to do it effectively, with consideration, so that your witnessing has some purpose other than letting you blow off a little steam.

 

[Bluegoat]

Facebook is not the place to say such things, which are very sensitive. Plus, if you have people you work with as friends on Facebook, you should not be addressing these kinds of topics at all. Religious discussions on controversial topics at work are very often inappropriate.

From the point of view of your colleagues, you said they were perverts. That may not be what you meant, but they can hardly tell that from a one line status update.

 

[ethereality]

This is what I wrote:

“Another Sydney gay and lesbian mardi gras passes us and the country slips further and further into perversion… what a discrace to this proud nation…”

People have already pointed out that it sounds like an attack on the people struggling with same sex attraction, rather than a condemnation of pornography and promiscuity. It very well could be hurtful to those struggling with these attractions who, being completely ignorant of the meaning of their bodies and the proper use of them, feel like you’re hating them for trying to find happiness in the only way they know how …

Try to speak with the mindset of Jesus, especially online, where context is usually missing and there is no body language or vocal tone to communicate feeling. Online, statements must be self-contained, i.e. not omitting anything. For example, you might have said, “Another Marti Gras parade has passed, promoting sodomy and fornication. These things are harmful not only to those who do them, but to those around those do them. Our bodies are not meant to be used as objects; we are called to love one another.” This statement clearly states what you are condemning and why, namely, because of your love for others and God’s commandments. And it condemns the action, not the actor.

I will say there was some poison in your post, namely the phrase, “what a dis[g]race to this proud nation”. It sounds like you care more about the prestige of the country than the country’s citizens. Jesus couldn’t care less about countries; he made that clear with his outreach to the Samaritan woman, and his parable about the Good Samaritan, to show the Jews that they were wrong for being divisive by country. (It is true that Jesus was sent first to Israel – this is just, as they are the first, God’s chosen people, but after their rejection of their Messiah, God revealed his plan more fully and we now see that God’s plan of salvation is for the whole world.)

Referring back to the phrase “gay and lesbian Mardi Gras”, the phrase “Mardi Gras” is seen as neutral and so the problem comes with “gay and lesbian” – it sounds like you are saying these men and women struggling with same-sex attractions are disgraces, highly negative of them, not of their actions. With this phrase, “what a disgrace to this proud nation”, you sound like a rich tyrant walking down the street, looking at homeless people, and rather than expressing your desire to help free them of their alcoholism, you say, “These homeless people are a disgrace! They’re dirtying my street! Someone should get rid of these disgusting creatures.” Well, with this hurt, the person is wounded and feels he’d better keep doing what he’s doing, and stay away from you, since he’s trying to be happy and you’re coming after him with a verbal dagger.

It’s okay to feel patriotism, duty to serving one’s nation, but we must remember that the nation is made of people; people don’t exist for the sake of the nation. Rather, the nation exists for the sake of the people. It’s the old idea, “the Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath”. It was wrong of you to put sorrow of your country’s reputation before sorrow of your neighbor’s plight: Instead of, “what a dis[g]race to this proud nation”, you should have said, “how sad these people are going down this path of misery”, etc., something to emphasize the importance of the person. That is why the promiscuous Mardi Gras was disgraceful: Not because of how it tarnishes the nation, but because of how it tarnishes the person: It is the dignity of the people involved that makes the event disgraceful. That’s what the word ‘dis-grace’ means – losing favor, particularly God’s favor. It is the downfall of these people from their rightful dignity that is mournful.

People struggling with same-sex attraction feel an emptiness inside, and often a lack of self-worth (with their bodies or their persons, with their masculinity or femininity) and they are trying to fill this emptiness with things that do not satisfy. People want to feel loved. When you see a man having partner after partner, to the point that he finally contracts HIV, it is because he wants to be loved, is unhappy with where he is, but does not know where to go or what to do except for what he has been doing. There are also mental problems associated with promiscuity and pornography; fixations develop and people become short-sighted, and hormones are involved in habit-forming behaviors. The point is: We must embrace the person as our brother or sister and do what we can to help him or her, emulating Jesus, following his commandment to love our neighbor as ourselves, for love of God (Matthew 22:36-40).

When the woman was caught committing adultery and brought before Jesus, Jesus did not speak out to condemn her, and it was clear her behavior was wrong. (Today, these people know that many disapprove of what they’re doing; the disapproval doesn’t need to be said in these moments.) Rather, he patiently and gently taught her, and with his love enabled her to follow his parting commandment, “Go and sin no more.” Check out the Catholic Answers LIVE 31 May 2010 encore broadcast, “The Importance of Fatherhood (Encore)” with Fr. Larry Richards. He has a great story about being approached by a man struggling with same-sex attraction from a university’s GLBT student group. It’s a matter of “killin’ 'em with kindness”, so to speak.

I hope this helps!