M
Misan
Guest
Hi, 27, female here, muslim apostate, newly christian. Grew up in a successful, integrated muslim family in Scandinavia. I was the only one who saw that our lives were “invisibly” governed by our relatives, by fascism, our middle eastern culture and our religion plus narcissistic, controlling, perfectionist parents. My brothers and I were mentally, verbally and emotionally abused all our lives, and a while back, for 10 months straight, i in particular was severely abused by all of my family. By age 24 I had a failed pharma degree i was trying to repair for years, and one day I finally prayed to God for the truth. Soon later, I met a conservative christian man from abroad and he happened to be talented in history, politics and theology. He’d refute all my opinions i thought were facts, and it didn’t take long before i left islam and became christian. But the conversion and the relationship had to be kept secret or i’d be in serious trouble. I began wanting to spend every minute of my day with him and with learning about God, but under the disguise of “just finding myself”, which wasn’t really a lie. I noticed a dramatic change in who i was and what i could do, and my family started punishing me for the changes i was officially making. For example i’d refuse to gossip about people on the dinner table, and they’d scold me and shun me for it. I started setting boundaries and openly speak for what i stood for, it was met with more severe abuse from everyone at home. Every day for 10 months from beginning of the day until the end my only job was to survive their abuse while trying to get them to stop. I was able to flee home one day for avoiding a muslim ceremony and being threatened because of it. I left everything behind; my stuff, my education, everything but a few documents and clothes. Things happened following the escape that was very hard, but i stood my ground and i cut contact, haven’t spoken to anyone i ever knew for 2 years because just speaking would be dangerous. Lived in different places since then, isolated, alone, rebuilding my life privately, government protecting my address. But at times, worry hits about how i will make it (first time i ever am on my own really), I reconsider my decision, if there’s anything i could’ve done differently, but no matter what I always realize that nothing else could’ve been done and there’s nothing going back to. But my question to you guys is: Did I do something wrong that i am responsible for as a catholic, what does the faith say about this?
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