Was The Response Normal?

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On Sunday, a friend of mine considered checking herself into the hospital for severe depression. A call was made to her priest to ask if he would go to the hospital to meet her. The priest said he couldn’t go because he didn’t want to influence her and couldn’t get involved.

I haven’t been a Catholic for very long, but is this the typical response of a priest when the parisioner is in need of help? And, if it isn’t, should the priest be confronted on the issue?

Scout:confused:
 
It sounds like this priest has his own issues to work out. One of the duties of a priest is to act as a spiritual counselor. Someone suffering from depression is in need of such help, and he should have made every effort to be available to her.
 
Whew. Looks like the priest indeed has his own issues.
Depression and mental illness are one of the last “stigmas” and one of the most enduring. Strange when you think that 20% of all Americans will experience an episode of a mental illness during the course of their lives. . .and that will impact on all their friends, family, acquaintances. . .and yet we are so SUPERSTITIOUS, fearing, I suppose, some sort of “contamination” or uncharitably condemning people for their “lack of character or fortitude”.

Uh-huh. I suppose the same people would tell somebody with a vision deficit that they could see if they just TRIED HARD ENOUGH–or one with a hearing deficit that they could hear if they just TRIED HARD ENOUGH. . .or that they could control their diabetes, heart disease, or lung disease if they just TRIED HARD ENOUGH.

I don’t think “confronting” Father X would help. I myself would suggest rather a more proactive approach of giving Father the NAMI web site (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill) which is www.nami.org , and bringing up at a parish council meeting the idea of instituting (or joining in an already formed program) a program for the diocese involving training, counseling, and help.

And, to be charitable, lots of “Father Xs” out there have crippling pastoral and personal burdens. We are ALL human and we make mistakes. So, I’ll be saying a special prayer not just for the woman facing depression, and her friend, but for Father and all our priests, for the help of the Father, Son, and Spirit to guide, teach, console and help us all.

Tap into the power of prayer!
 
Dr. Colossus:
It sounds like this priest has his own issues to work out. One of the duties of a priest is to act as a spiritual counselor. Someone suffering from depression is in need of such help, and he should have made every effort to be available to her.
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I think this reply was uncalled for.

This is one of the problems with forums such as this as well as society in general. We tend to make snap decisions on little to no information.

We do not know this priest, we do not know the individual Scout is talking about. Even if we did know them, we still are not privy to their personal relationship.

Without knowing these things we can not really comment on the priests actions or response.

And we certainly can not say that the priest “has his own issues to work out.”

If you do not respect the individual at least show some respect for the office of the priesthood and hold back such negative comments as this.
 
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ByzCath:
I think this reply was uncalled for.

This is one of the problems with forums such as this as well as society in general. We tend to make snap decisions on little to no information.

We do not know this priest, we do not know the individual Scout is talking about. Even if we did know them, we still are not privy to their personal relationship.

Without knowing these things we can not really comment on the priests actions or response.

And we certainly can not say that the priest “has his own issues to work out.”

If you do not respect the individual at least show some respect for the office of the priesthood and hold back such negative comments as this.
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ByzCath,
You are correct that we don’t have all the facts and many priest are just plain overworked and are not the best ‘people’ persons in the 1st place. However, from the few facts we have it looks as if the priest could have been more diplomatic or compassionate in his response. We had a priest in our parish who needed no help in degrading the office(molester, convicted) so it is hard to respect what so many have degraded and others covered up. Most priest are hard working, honest, dedicated religious leaders and they must be the ones to bring respect back to the office. Sorry to go off on a tangent.
 
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Lance:
ByzCath,
You are correct that we don’t have all the facts and many priest are just plain overworked and are not the best ‘people’ persons in the 1st place. However, from the few facts we have it looks as if the priest could have been more diplomatic or compassionate in his response. We had a priest in our parish who needed no help in degrading the office(molester, convicted) so it is hard to respect what so many have degraded and others covered up. Most priest are hard working, honest, dedicated religious leaders and they must be the ones to bring respect back to the office. Sorry to go off on a tangent.
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I must disagree with you on this. They did not degrade the office. They were sinful human beings just as we all are.

If you disrespect the office of the priesthood, then in words of Dr Colossus, you have your own issues to work out.
 
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ByzCath:
I must disagree with you on this. They did not degrade the office. They were sinful human beings just as we all are.

If you disrespect the office of the priesthood, then in words of Dr Colossus, you have your own issues to work out.
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I don’t disrespect the office but they did bring disrespect on the office just as Clinton did on the office of the president. IMHO they were more sinfull than most human beings. They were Gods representatives and they took advantage of kids and I will not be lumped in with that garbage.
 
I can understand why the priest might not have wanted to get involved.

The next day on the news, the liberal media might report (hypothetical of course):

“Today in the news, more trouble with Catholic priests. A Catholic priest seeks to have a parishioner institutionalized. Many theorize this may be an attempt to defame the parishioner because of an accusation of sex abuse…”

I don’t think the media would go that far, but I don’t necessarily blame the priest if he was being cautious.
 
Greg,

Thanks for your post. I agree with you-to a point. However, isn’t it part of a priest’s job to be there for a person, if only for spiritual and moral support? If a priest constantly worried about what the media or anybody else thought about his actions, he’d never get anything done.

Also, please don’t misunderstand me and think that I’m looking for a way to bash this priest, or any other for that matter. I have nothing but respect for the office and for this priest, in particular. O know him well and I’m very fond of him. I guess I’m just wondering if the priest handles other situations this way, or if it’s just an issue he has with my friend? And if it is just with her, then why? That’s why I was wondering if he should be confronted.

Scout 🙂
 
I just read your first post and obviously, we so not know the details. Your priest may well know what was going on with this person’s health and chose that the best course was not to visit for the sake of that person’s health.

Not everyone who is mentally ill wants what is best for them. Also, if he/she needs hospitalization, it is probably best to let the medical professionals see to the well-being of the patient.

I know that depression is a serious problem, especially for the one going through it. But it is not always best to encourage depression by positive reinforcement.
 
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Scout:
On Sunday, a friend of mine considered checking herself into the hospital for severe depression. A call was made to her priest to ask if he would go to the hospital to meet her. The priest said he couldn’t go because he didn’t want to influence her and couldn’t get involved.
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This is really a hard call since we don’t have all the information…I suspect the priest was just being prudent and perhaps he was couseling her…your friend might have misinterpreted the whole situation…
I haven’t been a Catholic for very long, but is this the typical response of a priest when the parisioner is in need of help? And, if it isn’t, should the priest be confronted on the issue?

Scout:confused:
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I think that we should not pass judgement…we should be praying for our priests instead. Annunciata:)
 
I’m not trying to pass judgement on the priest, or anyone else. I’m just trying to find out if my friend should talk to the priest or not. My friend is extremely upset about this whole situation and just doesn’t know what to do. Should my friend talk with the priest, or just let it go?

Scout :tiphat:
 
I’m not going to defend the priest OR your friend, we were not there, and did not hear what was said. I know that there are priest that would find an excuse not to go to her, some for good reasons and some for the wrong reason. Also, I am a Registered Nurse, who works with people with depresion, in different stages and degrees, and sometimes people who are depresed, or in some distress, do not always get everything said qiute right (sometimes people not in distress get things mixed up too). Now, on the other hand, your friend may have heard things correctly and did not misunderstand the meaning, of what the priest said.

However, we do not know and should just pray for everyone involved.

God bless you.
 
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