Was this the correct and charitable way to answer people who came preaching at my door?

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crenfro

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Hello.

Day before yesterday two men came to the door wanting to discuss the Bible - my husband was home and they seemed okay -and it was hot outside so I asked them in and offered them some ice water but they didn’t want any - they just wanted to talk about how one can’t use their conscience when they’re asleep or dead, then they wanted to read some other Bible passages. They were surprised I knew where my Bible was and that I sort of knew it - and when they started talking about what happens in the afterlife they only mentioned Heaven so I got my book out by Fr. F.X. Schouppe, S.J. The Dogma of Hell plus How To Avoid Hell by Thomas A. Nelson and thought they’d perhaps want to join me in a discussion about this book but they didn’t.

Then they told me they believed that Jesus was the son of God but that they didn’t believe in the Holy Trinity so I told them I couldn’t negotiate their religion because belief in the Holy Trinity is a core of my faith but that I was glad they were going around getting people to read scripture → getting them to be sure that they knew where their Bibles were and encouraging them to read their Bibles.

I felt sort of dismissed (disparaged? held in contempt?) after they left - they left sort of eagerly, in fact, when I said that disbelief in the Holy Trinity was a non-negotiable.

I’d like to hear any charitable ideas on how I could have better responded to this situation.

Thanks for listening and please pray for me.
 
Speaking as somebody who has wasted a lot of time talking to this type of people, I have just ceased letting them in. Normally they make out to be seeking on open-minded and frank chat about the Bible, but when it comes down to it they want to push their point of view and are totally closed to mine.

I try to say that I’m not interested in the kindest way possible and offer to pray for them.
 
Just yell back to the kitchen: “uh oh, honey is the pitbull inside or outside!?”. Then tell them to tiptoe back down the driveway and they should be okay.
 
If they’re Mormons I always invite them in for dinner, and if it’s nowhere near dinner time I invite them back later for a meal. Mormon missionaries are usually just kids between 18-22 who fund the trip themselves, have almost no contact with their families, put off school and everything else to go on the mission, and are then treated like dirt by most people. I tell them that I’m an atheist and am not interested in discussing religion but that they are welcome to come in for a good meal and conversation. My husband hates it but we always end up having a good time.

Jehovah’s Witnesses get a “no thank you” and a closed door, but their circumstances are different. If they were just kids who were away from home I would invite them in too, but they’re usually just adults from the community.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
If they’re Mormons I always invite them in for dinner, and if it’s nowhere near dinner time I invite them back later for a meal. Mormon missionaries are usually just kids between 18-22 who fund the trip themselves, have almost no contact with their families, put off school and everything else to go on the mission, and are then treated like dirt by most people. I tell them that I’m an atheist and am not interested in discussing religion but that they are welcome to come in for a good meal and conversation. My husband hates it but we always end up having a good time.

Jehovah’s Witnesses get a “no thank you” and a closed door, but their circumstances are different. If they were just kids who were away from home I would invite them in too, but they’re usually just adults from the community.
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👍👍👍
 
crenfro said:
Hello.

Day before yesterday two men came to the door wanting to discuss the Bible - my husband was home and they seemed okay -and it was hot outside so I asked them in and offered them some ice water but they didn’t want any - they just wanted to talk about how one can’t use their conscience when they’re asleep or dead, then they wanted to read some other Bible passages. They were surprised I knew where my Bible was and that I sort of knew it - and when they started talking about what happens in the afterlife they only mentioned Heaven so I got my book out by Fr. F.X. Schouppe, S.J. The Dogma of Hell plus How To Avoid Hell by Thomas A. Nelson and thought they’d perhaps want to join me in a discussion about this book but they didn’t.

Then they told me they believed that Jesus was the son of God but that they didn’t believe in the Holy Trinity so I told them I couldn’t negotiate their religion because belief in the Holy Trinity is a core of my faith but that I was glad they were going around getting people to read scripture → getting them to be sure that they knew where their Bibles were and encouraging them to read their Bibles.

I felt sort of dismissed (disparaged? held in contempt?) after they left - they left sort of eagerly, in fact, when I said that disbelief in the Holy Trinity was a non-negotiable.

I’d like to hear any charitable ideas on how I could have better responded to this situation.

Thanks for listening and please pray for me.
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I think that you did excellently well and I don’t think you should feel “dismissed”…
The fact that they “left eagerly” can indicate a couple of things - primarily that they had run into someone who knows their faith and is willing and able to defend it. the Second thing - and connected to this - is that they likely had no real defense against what you were posing to them.
Often times such people are not well schooled. They are trained to follow a certain “script” which is fine so long as they are talking to “heathens” and “nominal” Christians.
When they run into someone who can intelligently counter their arguments - they get off track and don’t know how to respond. No depth to their understanding.

Bottom line is that should a similar circumstance present itself…do basically the same thing…👍

Peace
James
 
I think you did good by showing hospitality and charity by inviting them in, and also by welcoming debate by fetching your Bible and settling down for a chat.

I’m not surprised they headed for the hills though once you started to also pull out other Catholic books and thus looked like you were settling in for a good chin-wag.

I’ve had a couple of experiences where I’ve said “Hang on, let me get my Bible - of course the one I use is different, it’s the older version with all the books included”. That usually produces a quizzical look followed by the sudden realisation that my Bible is a Catholic one. That is usually followed by a rapid retreat, no matter how willing I have been to talk.

Don’t take it personally - it’s not you. 😉
 
Netty1 said:
I think you did good by showing hospitality and charity by inviting them in, and also by welcoming debate by fetching your Bible and settling down for a chat.

I’m not surprised they headed for the hills though once you started to also pull out other Catholic books and thus looked like you were settling in for a good chin-wag.

I’ve had a couple of experiences where I’ve said “Hang on, let me get my Bible - of course the one I use is different, it’s the older version with all the books included”. That usually produces a quizzical look followed by the sudden realisation that my Bible is a Catholic one. That is usually followed by a rapid retreat, no matter how willing I have been to talk.

Don’t take it personally - it’s not you. 😉
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:rotfl:

I like the “older version” bible line.

Another approach to this would be, once you have some experience with such people, would be to have some references lined up in the deuteros to this or that argument of theirs…
So it would be like - They make a proposition with a Scripture reference and you respond with, “Yes but it says in Corinthians and we can cross check that in Maccabees…and also in Wisdom…” Then see what their reaction is.
“WHAT? Those books aren’t Scripture!!!”
and you reply - Sure they are…See It says right here on the cover…“Holy Bible”…😃

Peace
James
 
JRKH said:
:rotfl:

I like the “older version” bible line.

Another approach to this would be, once you have some experience with such people, would be to have some references lined up in the deuteros to this or that argument of theirs…
So it would be like - They make a proposition with a Scripture reference and you respond with, “Yes but it says in Corinthians and we can cross check that in Maccabees…and also in Wisdom…” Then see what their reaction is.
“WHAT? Those books aren’t Scripture!!!”
and you reply - Sure they are…See It says right here on the cover…“Holy Bible”…😃

Peace
James
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I like it!!! Good idea, I shall do that! 😃
 
My experience with those that “knock on the door” is that they have little interest in hearing another perspective; they are just there to preach their line and chalk up another door they knocked on.

I’ve tried though and they rarely stay long if you ask them to answer ?'s about certain Bible passages, explain your own views etc.

Mary.
 
Some of you make me feel downright unhospitable! I usually just tell the missionaries that I am not interested, thank them for their effort, wish them luck, smile and close the door.
Rete said:
Just yell back to the kitchen: “uh oh, honey is the pitbull inside or outside!?”. Then tell them to tiptoe back down the driveway and they should be okay.
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Hey, now! No doggie discrimination and perpetuating of stereotypes, please 🙂 I happen to own two American Pit Bull Terriers, an American Bulldog, and a Basset Hound. Biggest bunch of slobbering, shedding, human adoring canines I have ever known. Bred from healthy and temperamentally stable stock and raised and trained with loving, yet firm, kindness.

However, I will grant that seeing one very large and two medium-large sized dogs staring out the window can make a missionary think two or three times before knocking on my door. If the dogs happen to bark their “Hey, lady, there’s people on the porch” bark, the missionaries will cross the street and never come back. I haven’t seen a Mormon or a Jehovah’s Witness since the dogs reached full growth about 5 years ago, come to think of it…Yet the neighbors were complaining of a group that came around last month. 🤷
 
MJJean said:
Some of you make me feel downright unhospitable! I usually just tell the missionaries that I am not interested, thank them for their effort, wish them luck, smile and close the door.
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This is a very good approach too - one that I have used many times.
Of course the OP did invite them in - so that is the scenario that we are working with here…

Peace
James
 
MJJean said:
Some of you make me feel downright unhospitable! I usually just tell the missionaries that I am not interested, thank them for their effort, wish them luck, smile and close the door.

Hey, now! No doggie discrimination and perpetuating of stereotypes, please 🙂 I happen to own two American Pit Bull Terriers, an American Bulldog, and a Basset Hound. Biggest bunch of slobbering, shedding, human adoring canines I have ever known. Bred from healthy and temperamentally stable stock and raised and trained with loving, yet firm, kindness.

However, I will grant that seeing one very large and two medium-large sized dogs staring out the window can make a missionary think two or three times before knocking on my door. If the dogs happen to bark their “Hey, lady, there’s people on the porch” bark, the missionaries will cross the street and never come back. I haven’t seen a Mormon or a Jehovah’s Witness since the dogs reached full growth about 5 years ago, come to think of it…Yet the neighbors were complaining of a group that came around last month. 🤷
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I am a proud companion of an American bulldog. I agree.
 
Rete said:
I am a proud companion of an American bulldog. I agree.
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Oooh, another AB! Scott, Johnson, or hybrid? Mines a hybrid because I wanted the performance and the heft. I was hoping to train my boy in Schutzhund, but he is a bit lazy and not very motivated to do a job.
DaddyGirl said:
You are so right about this, BEL. Kudos to you for pointing this out.
When I was in Europe recently, two Mormon “elders” approached me on the street speaking French (badly)…and I could tell right away they were small-town American boys. When I spoke English to them, they were so relieved…and they didn’t even care that I didn’t want to hear their religion pitch…we sat at the McDonalds around the corner and had a nice little chat about everything else *except *religion.
They were just young kids, homesick, and trying to do what they’ve been told to do.
Not being allowed to see their family for two years…and I think, they can only email once a month or something…that is so harsh, my heart really goes out to them.

Thanks to your post, I’m going to make it a point to bring them in for dinner each time. 🙂

.
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I didn’t realize those poor kids had it so rough. Maybe next time a Mormon group comes by I’ll invite them for a meal and some chatter. Providing they are ok with the dogs, of course.
 
Hello again.

I have a little Jack Russell/Rat Terrier mix and she jumped all over them and gave them doggie kisses, which they responded to really more than anything.

Years ago I had another dog who bit someone and had to be quarantined in doggie jail for 10 days – his incarceration was at the vet’s.

For me, purposely scaring someone with a dog(s) then setting myself up for a lawsuit wouldn’t have been a useful response, and lately I’ve been struggling to have some sort of a loving attitude towards everybody since I can get pretty sarcastic, condescending and rude.

A couple of years ago a person who rang the doorbell and wanted to share his faith with me got the door slammed in his face with a yell from me “This is heresy! Do you know what you’re preaching is heresy?”

I felt terrible doing this, it wasn’t the “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” and I sure wouldn’t want the door slammed in my face, so I’m trying to do better.
MJJean said:
Hey, now! No doggie discrimination and perpetuating of stereotypes, please 🙂 I happen to own two American Pit Bull Terriers, an American Bulldog, and a Basset Hound. Biggest bunch of slobbering, shedding, human adoring canines I have ever known. Bred from healthy and temperamentally stable stock and raised and trained with loving, yet firm, kindness.
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crenfro said:
Hello again.

I have a little Jack Russell/Rat Terrier mix and she jumped all over them and gave them doggie kisses, which they responded to really more than anything.

Years ago I had another dog who bit someone and had to be quarantined in doggie jail for 10 days – his incarceration was at the vet’s.

For me, purposely scaring someone with a dog(s) then setting myself up for a lawsuit wouldn’t have been a useful response, and lately I’ve been struggling to have some sort of a loving attitude towards everybody since I can get pretty sarcastic, condescending and rude.

A couple of years ago a person who rang the doorbell and wanted to share his faith with me got the door slammed in his face with a yell from me “This is heresy! Do you know what you’re preaching is heresy?”

I felt terrible doing this, it wasn’t the “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” and I sure wouldn’t want the door slammed in my face, so I’m trying to do better.
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I am a huge terrier fan and I would have loved some doggie kisses! When I am too old to deal with the physical strength of the larger terriers I am going to get Jack Russels or Rat Terriers. Terriers are so smart and energetic and great natural verminators. I don’t like using chemicals and poisons to get rid of rats, rabbits, coons, groundhogs, etc. But I certainly don’t want them destroying my property, either. So, I have terriers and let them do the getting rid of naturally. Plus they are super people focused and very easy to groom 😃

It’s so much easier when you have a small terrier. People don’t fear them solely based on appearance. My APBT, AB, and Basset are ridiculously human friendly, but few people have the guts to come close enough to find that out because the Pits have that rep, the AB is biiiiig, and the Hound has a bark that rivals most tornado sirens.

I used to have issues with missionaries coming to the door. I wasn’t rude, exactly, but I was a bit abrupt. Then I didn’t want to be abrupt, so I’d just not answer the door. Now, even if they annoy me, I take a few deep breaths and treat them the same as I would treat someone selling something. Polite, firm, no thanks and good luck.
 
crenfro said:
I felt sort of dismissed (disparaged? held in contempt?) after they left - they left sort of eagerly, in fact, when I said that disbelief in the Holy Trinity was a non-negotiable.

I’d like to hear any charitable ideas on how I could have better responded to this situation.

Thanks for listening and please pray for me.
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Crenfro,

Never feel dismissed in your own home! You did an AWESOME job.

The bottom line is that you are not who they are looking for. They are looking for people who are weak in their faith and who do not care to look past the verses they cite. The did not feel that they could win you over, so they hurried off.

They are taught not to read ‘apostate’ literature (anything not put out by the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society) so your other books put them at a decided disadvantage.

If you wish to reach them, you would have to listen to what they have to say without offering an opposing view and, since they did not wish to come in (and they rarely do during regular field service work), ask them to come back. When they are invited for a ‘return visit’ they believe that you are open to their teachings and they will gladly come inside.

The object is to stay on topic and don’t let them play Bible ping-pong, jumping from proof text to proof text. Ask them about John 6, and how any of them have life, either in heaven or on paradise Earth (which is where they believe most of them will spend eternity) if they do not eat of the flesh of the Son of Man?

Ask if they can find examples of how 1st century Christians worshiped? (Acts 2:42) What did they mean by the “the breaking of the bread?” (1 Cor 10:16)

Ask if they can find this in their teachings. They do have a service called the “Memorial” where they remember the “Lord’s Evening Meal”, but only the “elect” partake. (144,000) Witnesses believe that the “other sheep” refers to everyone that is not of the 144,000 and that they will live forever on paradise Earth and not go to Heaven. i.e. there are two hopes despite the teachings of the Bible. (Eph 4:4)

Sorry, I have rambled… Once again, you did great!!!

Pax

P.S. No real need for the dogs…no matter how good a judge of character they might be! 😉
 
First I feel sorry for responders like Rete above, who feel the need to poke fun at these itinerant evangelists. They are ordinary people like us who are on a journey, and who happen to believe their cause is right, at this time in their lives.

But as far as your response of,

“I told them I couldn’t negotiate their religion because belief in the Holy Trinity”

I don’t think it’s necessary to couch your response in negative terms, but rather seize the chance to witness to our faith by stating, in the affirmative, what we believe as Catholics, and at the same time rejoice with them in what we do share in common.
In my experience of doing so with the many who have knocked on my door, I found the encounters always end up being cordial. And I know that they go away with something to think hard about.
Perhaps those who rush to make jokes just need to brush up on what they do believe, so they can share it with confidence.
 
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