Washing Feet Holy Thursday

[TonyC]

Hello, Brothers & Sisters in Christ,

I seek your opinion/advice, please.

Since my wife and I have been married (6 years), I have made it a tradition to wash her feet on Holy Thursday. I suppose she likes this. She hasn’t objected anyway.

Why do I do this? Well, it seems that our Lord was trying to set an example for us at the Last Supper to be a servant to each other. We sing something or another about being “Christ to one another,” and I suppose that’s perhaps especially so in the context of marriage, so I’d think this would be in keeping with that. Further, it helps keep me humble. I have to admit feeling a tad odd about it, however – but I’ve continued.

God has blessed my wife and me with children, so I’ve continued the tradition with them. I wash their feet too, even though they are only toddlers.

But now the tradition is getting tricky: We’ve moved away from our home in the USA to a country where having domestic live-in help is rather common. We have a good rapport with our live-in maid; she seems to think (or at least act) like we treat her well, pay her well, etc. She addresses me as “Sir” and my wife as “M’am,” and we address her by her first name, but it’s otherwise a friendly relationship. She minds (along with my wife) the children, cleans, cooks, launders, etc. We frankly treat her like she is part of the family. My wife and I are in our mid/late 30s, and our helper in her late 20s, and she is married herself, but her husband lives far away. The helper is a devout Catholic herself.

So, now what do I do this Holy Thursday – wash everybody’s feet, including the helper’s? Just my wife’s and children’s feet? Nobody’s feet? I frankly feel very odd about washing our helper’s feet, I know she would protest and say not to, and that she would feel very uncomfortable with it, but perhaps that’s the whole point?

Your thoughts?

Tony

 

[Veronica_Anne]

How sweet of you to wash your family’s feet! Do you allow them to wash your feet, as well?

You KNOW for sure that she’d be uncomfortable? Okay, well then, I wouldn’t offer. I’d just describe to her that you’ll be doing that with your family, and why, and that she’s more than welcome as another member of your household to participate – but that she is free to pass on it and your feelings wouldn’t be hurt nor would you feel disrespected if she declined.

As for your hired help, if she’s Christian and understands what this whole “washing feet” thing symbolizes for those of us who don’t walk around in the dirt – either barefoot or sandals – all day every day and so, therefore, their feet DO need to be washed.

Also, dirty feet can be pretty STANKY, so that is a small sacrifice for the foot washer, themselves!

If so, then ASK HER if it would have meaning for HER to have YOU wash HER feet.

Either way – by no means ask her to wash yours!! I say this because this washing-feet thing is service ONLY IF the person desires their feet to be washed – even just symbolically washed.

The MAIN THING here is WHY are you washing feet. I’m thinking that it shouldn’t be a “holier than thou” moment for YOU.

If you are doing it for a symbolic act of service, then how about doing something else that is a symbolic act of service OTHER THAN washing the person’s feet.

I suggest that possibly the best way to address this whole thing is to explain ahead of time – like a few days or a week ahead of time – this tradition that your family has and a simple explanation that it is a way that you are expressing your love and care to your family in a symbolic way.

Do NOT make it an “evangelical moment.” Just describe this as a family tradition so that she’s aware of what you’ll be doing. If she seems truly curious or even interested, offer to include her as one of the people OF YOUR HOUSEHOLD for which you’re offering to wash their feet like you do for your family with their acceptance of your offer to wash THEIR feet each year.

Hope this helps?

 

[aimee]

Holy Thursday the only feet to be washed is the 12 men who represent the start of the priesthood…its not for women ,etc.

At the celebration of the Evening Mass of the Lord’s Supper on Holy Thursday, the rite of the Washing of the Feet is optional. Where it is celebrated in the Archdiocese of Atlanta, it is my decision that the rubric of the Roman Missal shall be observed, that is, that twelve men (viri selecti) should be chosen from the community to take the part of the Apostles during this rite, other directions in the Paulist ordo, or any other liturgical publications notwithstanding. The “Mandatum” or Washing of the Feet, should be explained to the Faithful as a representation of Christ’s linkage of the institution of the Eucharist to the establishment of the Ordained Priesthood, and the burden of service placed upon those who are called to the Priesthood, in keeping with the events described and recalled in this most solemn Mass.

 

[Dandelion_Wine]

Um, Aimee, I don’t believe he’s talking about doing it at Mass.

Tony, I think it sounds like a family tradition and you have to decide how you see the helper. If she’s considered family, I would. If, while she’s very dear to your hearts, not family, then I wouldn’t do it.

Do you treat her like family? I know you treat her well, but like family? Do you include her in on other family traditions? If not, then don’t.

But if you think it might be a powerful experience for her, then consider it.

 

[TonyC]

Thank you everybody for the thoughts. They are all helpful.

Dandelion Wine – Well, we’ve only known her 6 months or so, so it’s hard to see how she fits in exactly, but I suppose we treat her like family. We got her gifts for her birthday.

Aimee – Dandelion is right, I certainly don’t have in mind doing this at Mass, but just at our home.

Veronica Anne – Maybe I’ll first hash it out with my wife, and then broach with the helper a few days or so ahead of time. As far as my letting them wash my feet, that hasn’t come up yet.

Thanks very much!

Tony