Can your sister have any contact with her daughter at all? If not, she must have done something pretty egregious. And if she’s in recovery, she will have faced her actions and come to some sort of recognition of the harm she’s done. Very difficult work to do, for alcoholics and for the rest of us!
My sister is can see her daughter on a very limited basis and only under my direct supervision. And yes, she’s an alcoholic but there is a lot more than just her alcoholism that got her child removed. I have been worried about my niece for her entire life and rightfully so. THe authorities have placed her with me and I now have permanent custody.
My sister is facing her actions. And she is remorseful and understands what she did wrong. But at the same time, she’s living in this “ministry” (I call it a half-way house but they call it a ministry). It’s a non-denominational ministry but they seem like very devout Baptists. (I have learned about many different religions and protistant denominations). They are teaching my sister that she can be “cured” of her alcoholism by reading and studying the Bible. My sister is not getting any counseling, she’s not going to AA, etc. I asked my sister what will happen when (if) she is ever on her own and something very stressful happens if she has any coping mechanisms so she won’t turn to alcohol. She said her coping mechanisms are her faith and the Bible. I applaud her devotion but it makes me very nervous. My sister was an atheist before she had to go to rehab. She found God in rehab but she has been sober barely over a year. So her Christianity is very very new. I am worried that it won’t last and as much as I hate to say this, I worry that it’s not enough to keep her from taking a drink. She needs a sponsor like those in AA but she has nothing like this.
Also, she is not working nor is she going to school or doing anything to better herself. She is allowed to do both where she lives - actually she is encouraged to do so. And there is a small chance that if she petitions the courts, she might get unsupervised visitation or overnight visits with her daughter but she would hvae to work for it and she’s not doing that. That would mean that she has to have a job, a place to live, a place for her daughter to sleep, reliable transportation, sobriety for a period of time, etc. But she’s not wokring for that. She seems content at the half-way house. She told me she’s going to petition for overnights at this half-way house but there is no way I would allow that. I would fight it with everythign I had because there are men at this place. My niece was severly sexually abused by her biological father so there is no way I would ever let my niece stay in a place where there are men she doesn’t know. (My niece revealed this to us after I had custody and her father is now in jail awaiting trial. And part of the reason mom can’t have her back is because my niece told mom about the abuse and mom didn’t do anything and kept letting dad see her). Actually, I would fight overnight no matter where they were. I can explain why but that’s a whole other post.
So I guess what the problem really is is that I am very angry with my sister. I will never understand why she isn’t working her arse off to better herself. She knows what she has to do to see her daughter more but she isn’t doing it!!! She can call every night if she wants to but she only calls once every week or so. UGgggggg!! I am a mother and I hate being at work all day away from my kids. I will never understand her. She loves her daughter but doesn’t seem to want to do what she can to see her more.
Sorry, this turned into more than just a Rosary question. I guess I’m just mad at her for so many reasons and her wearing the Rosary just really really bothers me.
