T
The_Hidden_Life
Guest
Hello, I am looking for ideas on how to be respectful to my father (and his soon-to-be new wife) while not giving him the message that I think he is doing a wonderful thing.
The history: my parents were baptized Christians (non-Catholic) who divorced when I was a child. My mother has never remarried. My father remarried a year later and his second wife died two years ago, after twenty years of marriage. My father stated his itention from the time his second wife was terminally ill with breast cancer to marry again some day after some time had passed. So. He was contacted by a woman who knew him from church and they started going out about four or five months ago. They became engaged. He sold his house in preparation for the wedding but it sold sooner than expected and now he is moving in with his fiance six weeks before the wedding and no, they are not living chastely. This is a big disappointment to me and my brother and sister, who all are shocked at his behavior.
I have not met this woman. I am going to visit for a weekend during which I will attend the wedding reception a week after the wedding. The practical dilemma that occurred to me is: what do I give this couple as a wedding gift? But really, I am at a loss for how to deal with the whole situation.
When I try to talk to my father about how I feel about him behaving this way he gets hurt feelings (he’s a marriage and family therapist, just to inject some irony here) and I feel like perhaps I am wrong for arguing with my parent (honor thy father, and all that). From my sister and brother’s reports they are at a loss as to why my father would pick her to marry, other than that she has a lot of money and my father is always anxious about when will he ever get to retire. Sounds comical, but it does seem that every time I talk to him about her he is always mentioning that he will be able to afford to come visit us more often once he’s married, rather than gushing about how wonderful she is and how in love they are.
Help!
The history: my parents were baptized Christians (non-Catholic) who divorced when I was a child. My mother has never remarried. My father remarried a year later and his second wife died two years ago, after twenty years of marriage. My father stated his itention from the time his second wife was terminally ill with breast cancer to marry again some day after some time had passed. So. He was contacted by a woman who knew him from church and they started going out about four or five months ago. They became engaged. He sold his house in preparation for the wedding but it sold sooner than expected and now he is moving in with his fiance six weeks before the wedding and no, they are not living chastely. This is a big disappointment to me and my brother and sister, who all are shocked at his behavior.
I have not met this woman. I am going to visit for a weekend during which I will attend the wedding reception a week after the wedding. The practical dilemma that occurred to me is: what do I give this couple as a wedding gift? But really, I am at a loss for how to deal with the whole situation.
When I try to talk to my father about how I feel about him behaving this way he gets hurt feelings (he’s a marriage and family therapist, just to inject some irony here) and I feel like perhaps I am wrong for arguing with my parent (honor thy father, and all that). From my sister and brother’s reports they are at a loss as to why my father would pick her to marry, other than that she has a lot of money and my father is always anxious about when will he ever get to retire. Sounds comical, but it does seem that every time I talk to him about her he is always mentioning that he will be able to afford to come visit us more often once he’s married, rather than gushing about how wonderful she is and how in love they are.
Help!
