Weddings in catholic church?

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Okay, please don’t be upset when I tell you that all the weddings I attended at catholic churches, I did not pay any attention to what was going on in the church really. :o
We would sit in the back, and my husband and I would just be silent most of the entire time, and I really can’t remember anything about it that sticks out for me now.
Can anyone tell me how its different in terms of what I should be aware of now that I do go to Mass, and am more comfortable following along and understanding the mass?
I guess what I am asking is, as a non baptised person other than the obvious (not partaking of the Eucharist) what can/should I do now that I do believe? Will there be an Our Father? How does it go?

I am comfortable with the Mass, but for the life of me I can’t remember the catholic weddings in church now. I guess the entire time I was more worried about other things, and I must admit I was not really focused on the rituals but just the moment, and the happiness of the people getting married. I zoned out on the religious signifigance of it all.

Tonight it hit me, that after a little reading in the bible and a quick search, the catholic church has got this marriage in the church so right! IF I am correct, the vows are still between the bride and the groom, and God, and the priest is not “doing” anything (well, of course, he is officiating!) but he is not causing this bond --?
Contrasting this with how he is required for the Eucharist…
Am I correct in this?

I even read its okay for a deacon to preside?

If anyone knows more to help me in this, so I understand how this works, please let me know.

Thank you!

Monica
 
A full Catholic mass wedding is almost exactly like a Catholic mass, except the three readings usual focus on wedding topics and the homily centers more around the married couple and their future life. The ‘wedding’ part takes place after the gospel reading, but I’m not positive. The Our Father is spoken as usual. And the priest helps the couple with their vows and the marriage ceremony but it’s God who is the one who creates the bond.
 
I went to my St. Joseph’s Missal to see how the Nuptial Mass flows. The structure of the Mass is the same, but specific prayers are used.

There are 3 options in the Nuptial Mass A, B, C.

The best I can tell, the wording of the prayers differ, but nothing else.

-The Opening Prayer, Prayer over the Gifts, and Closing Prayer are marriage specfic.

-The readings support the Catholic view of marriage.

-After the Gospel readings the Declaration of Intentions take place. This is the part where "Do you N and N come here freely and without reservation to give to yourselves freely and in marriage? (taken from the Missal). There is more, but you get the drift.

After the declaration comes Consent. Where the priests says, “Since it is your itentsion to enter in marriage, join your right hands and and declare your consent before God and Church.” Then each one says the "I take you to be…

It finishes with the blessing of rings. and then the actual placing of rings on fingers.

The Mass proceeds from there with the general intercessions. The Preface is nuptial specific, invoking blessings for the couple. That would be the “The all powerful and livng God part”

Then one of the Eucharistic prayers is used, I’m not sure but #1 is the most common.

-Instead of the Deliver us after the Lord’s Prayer, a special Nuptial Blessing is given before Communion.

And that is pretty much it. Add about 15 minutes to a Sunday Mass? Not sure, the last Catholic Wedding I attended did not have a Mass, and mine has been so long ago my memory fails me.
 
All of the above.

When sacramental or other ceremonies are included in a Mass, they are positioned after the homily and before the gifts are brought to the altar. So weddings, blessings of ministries, ordination ceremonies, and the institution of bishops (even the Pope) take place at that point in the Mass.

If it is a “Mass of [fill in the blank]” the readings are “proper” – not the readings from whatever day of the year it is. Are you aware that the readings at Mass are all appointed for every day of the year? For Sundays the cycle is 3 years; weekday readings cycle on a two-year schedule. If you attend daily Mass, you will hear about 73% of the Bible (minus a couple of hundred “begats”).
 
In addition to what others have said…

First of all, it is not always the case that weddings take place within a Mass. So that might be why some of this is fuzzy to you. If there is not a Mass then there is still a Liturgy of the Word and a few other prayers. And of course the wedding part.

You are correct that the priest officiates but does not confer the sacrament on the two persons. They confer it on each other. A deacon can witness the marriage and many weddings that do not take place within the context of a Mass will have a deacon officiate for the whole wedding liturgy.

When I was just out of college (back in the stone age 1980s) I attended the wedding of a friend. His uncle was a priest and his father was a deacon. So his uncle officiated at the Mass and his father assisted. His father was the one who witnessed the marriage itself.
 
SMHW said:
A deacon can witness the marriage and many weddings that do not take place within the context of a Mass will have a deacon officiate for the whole wedding liturgy.
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In communities that rarely see a priest the bishop can, with the Vatican’s approval, appoint a lay person to witness marriages. I know that a few communities in my diocese had/have Sisters doing the marriage preparation and witnessing the marriages.

We have no deacons in our diocese.
 
I’ve been a musician for Nuptial Masses every weekend for the past 6 weekends - the last one being yesterday afternoon. Mine was five years ago, so I still remember the order of the mass.

Basically, almost everything is identical to a regular mass, with a couple differences. For most Nuptial masses, though, they usually do not recite or sing the Gloria, but you can request it - if it is during the proper time of the year (can’t do it during Lent no matter what, for example). For instance, my husband and I wanted the Gloria sung during our mass as we had a choir, and it was allowed.

Some differences:

Processional: Although it is described to have the priests process in with the bridal party and the bride and groom, I have only seen it done once when the the bridal couple had about 6 concelebrants. Most of the time, there will be a bridal party procession, then the bride’s procession.

After the Homily, the Rite of Marriage, the Consent and the Blessing and Exchange of Rings are done.

Many dioceses have gotten rid of the unity candle, so you probably won’t see that anymore.

Later in the mass, after the “Our Father”, there will be a Nuptial blessing

Usually, even if it is not typically offered under both species, the bride and groom can receive the Body and Blood

After the mass is over, sometimes the bride will make a special prayer to Mary during the Presentation to the Blessed Mother. More and more do I see the husband also go over with the bride to do this.
 
As usual, I must thank you all for helping me out here.🙂

I am so excited to go to this wedding now. I really love going to Mass, and if this is another experience that is joyous, I can’t imagine not wanting to go.

I have never been to a bad mass yet. Because Jesus is there for all of them.

I would like to think he loves weddings, considering his first miracle was one.

I will start a thread about if its okay if I get the bride a mass card?

Along with a gift, not instead of one.

I just thought it would be nice. I see in the bulletins so many getting masses said. So I asked my new friend how they get there, and she told me its 10.00 to buy a mass.

I will get one, if its something they will accept from me, as a non catholic?
 
Getting her a mass is a wonderful gesture. That would have a been a very welcomed gift for our own nearly 30 years ago. We give a bible usually as part of the wedding present too.
 
stbruno said:
Getting her a mass is a wonderful gesture. That would have a been a very welcomed gift for our own nearly 30 years ago. We give a bible usually as part of the wedding present too.
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🙂

Thank you! So it’s okay for me to get her a Mass? I did not know…
I was going to ask my priest about it. I saw him leave me:crying:
for his well earned vacation this morning! After he visited my husband in the hospital today.
Poor guy. My husband was not that nice either. But he went for my sake.😊
And he blessed our daughter, and the nurses, (catholic hospital, and it rocks!) and the surgeon.

I just wish I was really a real catholic.:o
I am in heart.
 
It’s perfectly ok for you to get her a Mass – or one for the couple. You can just go to the parish office and they will be able to help you.

Just a slight correction, we don’t ‘buy’ Masses. The diocese sets the amount of stipend a priest may receive for a Mass but a priest is bound to celebrate a Mass for anyone who asks him to, stipend or no stipend. I’ve known some who never accepted stipends at all for this. One priest whom I approached for a Mass for my mom just said “It’s my gift to you, put your money away.”

When you request this Mass the office will probably give you a card from their stock of “Masses for the living” cards. Where the cards we give for the repose of the soul of a deceased person are always written in the third person, the Mass for the living card say something along the lines of

A Mass will be celebrated for you (or in your intention)
by Fr. X
at Our Lady Queen of the World

then there will be a line for your signature.
 
notsmart said:
I Tonight it hit me, that after a little reading in the bible and a quick search, the catholic church has got this marriage in the church so right! IF I am correct, the vows are still between the bride and the groom, and God, and the priest is not “doing” anything (well, of course, he is officiating!) but he is not causing this bond --?
Contrasting this with how he is required for the Eucharist…
Am I correct in this?

I even read its okay for a deacon to preside?

If
Click to expand...
actually the serene contemplative attitude of simply being in silence and absorbing the experience is one valuable way of participlating in Mass.

Contrast: the priest (or deacon) is the witness of the exchange of vows between the husband and wife. Why. Look to how God established each of these sacraments. Marriage was established by Him, with the first man and woman who were joined by his will, and accepted each other by their free will. (things only got sour with marriage when they rejected God’s will over their lives, side note).

Eucharist was established by Jesus Christ at the last supper, in the context of his explanation to his apostles of what was going to happen to him, and why, and how they were to go about not only worshipping him but loving him–through obedience. It was completed in the sacrafice on calvary and the resurrection, after which he further instructed them on how to conduct themselves as priests and bishops, and why. Since in that institution he made it clear that the apostles, and their successor priests and bishops, do as he commanded themselves, and in so doing act in persona Christi, in with and through Him.
 
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