Weekly Confession - healthy or obsessive?

[EasterJoy]

I’d say that there are some (albeit limited) circumstances where a priest can cancel confessions without shirking his duty.

I also think, though, that it can reasonably be inferred that, having refused to hear her confession and NOT knowing her well on a personal level, the priest in fact did NOT know that she hadn’t committed a mortal sin, and was unreasonable at least in telling her that her desire for confession was unhealthy.

The thing is…we didn’t hear the conversation. We don’t know whether the penitent volunteeered to the priest that she had no mortal sin to confess, we don’t know whether he asked or was told how long it had been since her last confession, we don’t know what conclusions about her spiritual health–an aspect about her which he, as a physician of the soul, is competent to discern-- he might have fairly drawn by his impression that she was overly frantic over the matter. He did talk to her, personally. We didn’t. A doctor doesn’t have to look at your entire medical history to know that your leg is not broken.

A priest, being confronted during his own preparations to offer Sunday Mass by a frantic person in no spiritual peril who thinks she can’t worthily receive Holy Communion when in fact she can and who won’t take “no” for an answer might reasonably conclude that the last thing she needs is for him to drop everything and hear her confession. I’m not saying that this was the situation here at all, but it is well within the realm of possibility.

I can tell you that I know doctors who sometimes are forced to be “not very nice” to patients who insist that they need treatment they do not in fact need, who insist that they are urgent cases when they are not, and who insist they have terminal diseases that they don’t have. The “not nice” comes out of the necessity of impressing reality upon a person who doesn’t want to hear it.

Again, I’m not saying that these scenarios have anything to do with this case. Priests can be rude, self-centered, or just plain wrong, like anyone else. Both parties, though, deserve the benefit of the doubt. We weren’t there, and innocent explanations do exist, on both sides.

 

[MarieVeronica]

While it is true that priests are only human, they also must realize the role they play in their community. People implicitly trust them and to be treated so cavalierly by a person you put your faith in, could be the last straw for someone already on the brink. Fortunately, my mother is healthy; but were she not, he could have done great damage to her pysche.

Adelette… maybe this will help too. First of all, your mom is… as you say a “baby Catholic” (lol. cute way to say it) She hasn’t had time to really learn yet.

Second… yes, priests are only human… just as we are. And sometimes, they do respond gruffly. I know what she’s feeling… because I was rebuked, publicly by my Pastor… for kneeling to receive Holy Communion.

But recently, I heard something that made profound sense to me. It went something like this…

“Difficult people are like mirrors in our lives. Because they reveal to us, our own faults”.

In my case… (which was similar to what happened to your mom) I was rebuked publicly… and after some thought… I’ve decided that I’m way too overly sensitive. Not a good thing. So, I’m trying very hard not to be so sensitive.

Did that make any sense at all? I think you know what I’m trying to say. Please give your mom a hug from me… and tell her to hang in there. Just because ONE priest was… uh… curmudgeonly, doesn’t by a LONG shot… mean that they all are. :hey_bud:

God bless.

 

[RubyT]

Some of this is not correct.

You’re not sinning by missing mass for these reasons, nor are you obligated to confess doing so!

 

[LilyM]

I never said I thought it was a sin. I said I felt bad when I miss church and the eucharist. I feel bad even when I know my reason for missing Church is acceptable to our faith. I don’t go to church because it is the rule of the Catholic church. I go to be closer to God. I feel bad because I miss it in my heart and soul. That doesn’t mean I can’t handle it, just that I have to wait a whole week :blushing:

 

[crenfro]

If anyone has any advice on how I can help my mother through this, or how we should proceed, I would love to hear it.

I’d suggest that your mom get some reading materials from a Catholic book source and read up about Confession. Also, what form of examination of conscience does your mother use?

It’s such a great sacrament, so full of graces, comfort, healing and help from God, I can understand your mom being upset at missing out on them for a week.

And nobody can really know what’s going on between a person’s soul and God.

Are there any other catholic churches your mom could go to confession on a regular basis, with a plan B if something’s canceled, to go on to the next place where they’re having confessions that day?

just some random thoughts…thanks for listening

 

[EasterJoy]

I never said I thought it was a sin. I said I felt bad when I miss church and the eucharist. I feel bad even when I know my reason for missing Church is acceptable to our faith. I don’t go to church because it is the rule of the Catholic church. I go to be closer to God. I feel bad because I miss it in my heart and soul. That doesn’t mean I can’t handle it, just that I have to wait a whole week :blushing:

I know what you mean. It’s like if you had to miss a holiday with your family because it was your turn to work that holiday shift at the hospital. Nobody blames you and you don’t blame yourself, but you do feel a loss at having to be absent.

It is hard for me to stay home from Mass when I’m sick, too, but our pastor is adamant that attending Mass when you are likely to make someone else sick is a selfish thing to do. And of course he’s right…there are many in our parish in such frail health that they would be not only knocked out of going to church but from all the activities of daily life for some time, if they were to get such a bug. Even so, it’s hard. For some of us, it is the occasional obligation to stay home that is the most difficult!