D
Delphinus85
Guest
Hey I totally had a weird dream last night and was wondering if anyone coud tell me if they think it means anything.
First off, I have to explain that the last few…well I guess months, and even years off and on (more off than on
) my faith has been shriveled down to little more than "I hope I love God…I think I do…I don’t know, but I want to more than anything. Mainly, I’ve been really really angry at him for, well, several reasons. Anyway, last night I had this dream.
I dreamed that these issues that were making me angry at God were happening all over again. I talked to a room full of people who were closest to me about them, but I wound up getting so angry I yelled at all of them and stormed out. One of the main people in that room was even the priest at my parish who I am closest to!!
I ran out into the streets and was plotting to just be a really bad person. You know, stealing and such. I decided to go into a church for one last time. It was this gorgeous cathedral with marble and gold inside. I can’t even describe it. I had no shoes on, because one of the issues I have been struggling with and was angry at God about had caused me to not have shoes (I’m trying not to give details about these issues) I figured I’d be okay, since it was a house of God, but the priest came up to me and said that if I didn’t get some shoes and decent clothes on, I was not welcome in there. Everyone was glaring at me, and people were whispering about me. Then I saw a man sitting in the corner that no one seemed able to see. I ran over to him and without saying anything to him I just jumped on his lap. I didn’t recognize his appearance, but I knew in my heart this was christ! I poured my heart out to him about everything and I just cried and cried He answered my questions, generally in ways I didn’t like. Now this is the part i don’t understand, we kept kissing! Like, on the lips, but it was the most asexual thing ever! And with each kiss I felt my hurting cold broken heart melt a little more each time. I begged him to help me love him like I used to. He kissed me again, a really slow deep one. Then whispered “recieve the Holy Spirit” but I felt nothing really change. He hugged me and said “I will give you a few days to calm down, then I will give you a kiss you will not forget, and everything will change.”
This dream hasn’t faded since I woke up, like most of them do. Does this mean anything? And what the heck is up with the hugs and kissing? Is my brain fried or was this symbolic of something, do you think? Feedback would be great. I feel confused.
First off, I have to explain that the last few…well I guess months, and even years off and on (more off than on
) my faith has been shriveled down to little more than "I hope I love God…I think I do…I don’t know, but I want to more than anything. Mainly, I’ve been really really angry at him for, well, several reasons. Anyway, last night I had this dream.I dreamed that these issues that were making me angry at God were happening all over again. I talked to a room full of people who were closest to me about them, but I wound up getting so angry I yelled at all of them and stormed out. One of the main people in that room was even the priest at my parish who I am closest to!!
I ran out into the streets and was plotting to just be a really bad person. You know, stealing and such. I decided to go into a church for one last time. It was this gorgeous cathedral with marble and gold inside. I can’t even describe it. I had no shoes on, because one of the issues I have been struggling with and was angry at God about had caused me to not have shoes (I’m trying not to give details about these issues) I figured I’d be okay, since it was a house of God, but the priest came up to me and said that if I didn’t get some shoes and decent clothes on, I was not welcome in there. Everyone was glaring at me, and people were whispering about me. Then I saw a man sitting in the corner that no one seemed able to see. I ran over to him and without saying anything to him I just jumped on his lap. I didn’t recognize his appearance, but I knew in my heart this was christ! I poured my heart out to him about everything and I just cried and cried He answered my questions, generally in ways I didn’t like. Now this is the part i don’t understand, we kept kissing! Like, on the lips, but it was the most asexual thing ever! And with each kiss I felt my hurting cold broken heart melt a little more each time. I begged him to help me love him like I used to. He kissed me again, a really slow deep one. Then whispered “recieve the Holy Spirit” but I felt nothing really change. He hugged me and said “I will give you a few days to calm down, then I will give you a kiss you will not forget, and everything will change.”
This dream hasn’t faded since I woke up, like most of them do. Does this mean anything? And what the heck is up with the hugs and kissing? Is my brain fried or was this symbolic of something, do you think? Feedback would be great. I feel confused.