What about my cross-dressing?

[runjumpflip]

So I’m a 14 year old girl. I don’t call myself a boy. I am physically female. I don’t think I’m transgender, and I don’t think I am, but I don’t really know anymore. I don’t know what the Church teaches on this issue and I don’t know what to believe anymore. So I have a lot of other stuff going on, but one major issue for me is that I really really want to be a boy sometimes. I don’t really find it appealing to be an adult man, but I want to be a boy. And I don’t really know how to explain it, but I feel like I can never be who I want to be unless I’m a boy. I feel like I can’t have the personality I want. I don’t want a female body, and because of this, I have struggled with a mild eating disorder. I almost always wear boys or men’s clothing. I try to make myself look as flat chested and as straight up and down as possible. Is this wrong? I don’t want to be living in sin, but the idea of dressing and acting and talking like a regular girl literally makes me cry sometimes. Who knows, maybe it is just a phase, but it hurts. I could go on for hours about this, but I have so many thoughts right now that I don’t even know how to phrase them. Please help. Thanks.

 

[Fr.Vincent_Serpa]

Hi,

The Lord understands the difficulty you are having in your life right now. You don’t feel like being the person you are at this time. We live at a time when feelings are given priority over everything else. Actually, they don’t deserve the high rank they are given. We HAVE feelings, but they are not us. One can have guilt feelings, for example, but this doesn’t mean that one is guilty. Nor does it mean that one should act like he or she is guilty. In reality, one is not; so with other feelings as well.

Simply because you don’t like feeling like a girl, you think that feeling like a boy will make you feel better. It might be profitable for you to learn what about being a girl is such a turn off for you and how and why this has come about. The fact is; you ARE a girl. The Church is always concerned about the truth. We need to be also—because the truth is simply the knowledge of what is. It would be great if you could be happy simply being the girl that you are. Cross dressing just keeps the confusion going. It doesn’t resolve anything. Know that the Lord loves you even in your confusion. He will not let you slip through His fingers. If you would like to discuss this further with me privately, just click on my name above and I will be happy to get you some help. You are in my prayers.

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.