What are your "grave reasons" for using NFP?

[mrsfrazier]

DH needs to finish his degree, and we have a 5 month old who has had a lot of health problems. We would need to recover from the blow that caring for DS has taken to our marriage before I would consider getting pregnant again. It has been extremely rough on our marriage to have a child repeatedly hospitalized, and making a lot of tough decisions about DS’s healthcare, and I would worry that we might not make it to our next anniversary if we had another baby It was very hard to admit that we needed to seek help to keep our marriage running after the difficulties we have had the past few months. I would love to stop using NFP ASAP, though.

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

It was very hard to admit that we needed to seek help to keep our marriage running after the difficulties we have had the past few months.

**It is always hard to admit that we need help. But I am so glad you did and that you are on your way back to having the happy family you deserve! Prayers for your little one too

Malia**

 

[rlg94086]

I agree with the other posters regarding “grave” vs. “reasonable” etc. Are our reasons “grave?” I don’t know, but they are reasonable, and I believe acceptable.

We use NFP because my wife exhibited health concerns during her last pregnancy - very high blood pressure and diabetes. All four births went well, so there is no health issue during childbirth, but that’s what I selected on the poll.

 

[surfinpure]

DH needs to finish his degree, and we have a 5 month old who has had a lot of health problems. We would need to recover from the blow that caring for DS has taken to our marriage before I would consider getting pregnant again. It has been extremely rough on our marriage to have a child repeatedly hospitalized, and making a lot of tough decisions about DS’s healthcare, and I would worry that we might not make it to our next anniversary if we had another baby It was very hard to admit that we needed to seek help to keep our marriage running after the difficulties we have had the past few months. I would love to stop using NFP ASAP, though.

I just wanted to pause and say that my heart goes out to you. My husband and I celebrated the birth of my daughter having been married less than two years. He had just been laid off, we moved across the state into an apartment close to my parents that we couldn’t afford, and when my daughter was born she suffered a brain injury, and many life-threatening seizures. We had a very rough few months. Lots of tests and doctor’s visits. Not knowing if she would even make it. Postpartum depression hit me like a freight train, and our marriage suffered greatly as a result.

But the Lord and Our Lady were extremely merciful to us. Those events sparked the fire in us to go to RCIA, I got on some much-needed anti-depressant medication, my daughter gained strength with each month, and the following Easter my husband and I were confirmed. I can’t honestly say that I’d be a Catholic right now had it not been for that very dark time in our lives. It was our Gethsemane.

The road beyond has never been normal or particularly easy, but we did have another baby two years ago, and though we have our hands full, we thank God each and every day for his abundance of grace and mercy.

Peace to you, sister. By the grace of God, you can and will survive this.

mary

 

[catholic79]

We thought we had reason for postponing babies but had we known how hard getting pregnant would be for us then I don’t think any of them would have be grave enough. Hindsight is 20/20 I guess. At the time our reasons were financial (dh was in school) and my health I wanted to talk more with my cardiologist before trying for a baby. I pray every day that those 3yrs we waited were not my last chance.

 

[mrsfrazier]

I just wanted to pause and say that my heart goes out to you. My husband and I celebrated the birth of my daughter having been married less than two years. He had just been laid off, we moved across the state into an apartment close to my parents that we couldn’t afford, and when my daughter was born she suffered a brain injury, and many life-threatening seizures. We had a very rough few months. Lots of tests and doctor’s visits. Not knowing if she would even make it. Postpartum depression hit me like a freight train, and our marriage suffered greatly as a result.

But the Lord and Our Lady were extremely merciful to us. Those events sparked the fire in us to go to RCIA, I got on some much-needed anti-depressant medication, my daughter gained strength with each month, and the following Easter my husband and I were confirmed. I can’t honestly say that I’d be a Catholic right now had it not been for that very dark time in our lives. It was our Gethsemane.

The road beyond has never been normal or particularly easy, but we did have another baby two years ago, and though we have our hands full, we thank God each and every day for his abundance of grace and mercy.

Peace to you, sister. By the grace of God, you can and will survive this.

mary

Thank you so much for telling your story! It helps me keep things in perspective to know that all of our struggles have a meaningful end (which is extremely difficult to realize much of the time when you are in the midst of them!) It makes me feel confident again that we can weather this successfully and end up closer and stronger because of it…

 

[mrsfrazier]

**It is always hard to admit that we need help. But I am so glad you did and that you are on your way back to having the happy family you deserve! Prayers for your little one too

Malia**

Thanks Malia!! It has helped me to know that at least others share DS’s sleep problems, as my family thinks we are crazy, lol!!

 

[Just_wondering]

Not using NFP, because I’m not married yet. However, my boyfriend and I have discussed it, and when we get married, we’d like to start trying for a baby right away. I’m 27, he’s 29, it’ll be another year or so before we get married, so I think we’ll probably start on the baby thing as soon as possible. He has two daughters already (5 and 3), so I’d like our children to be as close in age as possible to their older sisters.

Half of me is scared that we’ll have trouble conceiving, and the other half is scared that we’ll be super-fertile! With that in mind, we’ll take them as they come. Ask me again in five years, and I’ll probably have a more informed answer on NFP.

 

[newbetx]

I’m looking into the question of NFP before I get married, but after having talking it over with my boyfriend, we have no reasons to use NFP in the future, really. I’m just curious to see what your reasons are and then I’ll use that for my Moral Theology class… No names mentioned!

Oh and if you don’t use NFP at all, can you please specify why you and your spouse have made that decision?

I guess I am concerned about the phrase posted as the question…

NFP is not simply “Catholic Contraception”… similar to how the “marital embrace” is not the same as “sex with your wife (or husband)”. If you don’t understand what I just stated, then you are missing out on something wonderful. I do recommend Christopher West’s “The Good News About Sex and Marriage”.

NFP is a process by which (hopefully both) husband and wife track the woman’s monthly cycle. This shared responsibility and interest in the couple’s fertility helps to form a bond and enhance the “become one body” concept. It’s a positive action on the part of the couple to help them determine periods of abstinence or sexual activity depending on the mutual decision to try or not to concieve.

So I challenge you to understand the role sex and NFP should play in your relationship once you are married. That might be a more interesting discussion for your Moral Theology class.

 

[lifeisbeautiful]

I’m looking into the question of NFP before I get married, but after having talking it over with my boyfriend, we have no reasons to use NFP in the future, really. I’m just curious to see what your reasons are and then I’ll use that for my Moral Theology class… No names mentioned!

Oh and if you don’t use NFP at all, can you please specify why you and your spouse have made that decision?

I haven’t read the rest of this (wow, lots of pages of responses) but like you, we have no reasons to use NFP so far so we haven’t used it. It’s been great too

 

[MomKarin]

We unsing the NFP since baby Nr.2 and Calendar method since
since baby Nr.8, in order to jave a little time between the babys

 

[Corki]

I marked “other” for too old.

 

[RegiMom]

We use nfp temporarily to postpone a pregnancy

 

[HOPEFUL_IN_UK]

We have several reasons.

First, I’ve got a chronic medical condition that will require treatment, and that treatment is not compatible with pregnancy - we won’t use NFP for that period, but full abstinence. Then, that treatment is also debilitating and I am already postponing it until our youngest is able to, you know, wipe it’s own bottom. I’m due in February, so that’s probably four or five years from now. The doctor doesn’t really want me to wait much longer than that, as the odds of the treatment working decline as the patient ages.

Second, we’re already financially stretched pretty thin. I’m not talking about having a big SUV, a big house, and taking holidays. We live in a small house in a ghetto, drive an old station wagon, and don’t do anything extravagant. We’re just barely getting by. Not only would adding a fourth child push us beyond what we can currently manage, I also need to start working after I get my medical treatment and the youngest is in school. We get by on DH’s income by being very frugal, but we’re not going to be able to support ourselves in retirement if I don’t work for 10-15 years and save every penny, first. I’m now 38 and I hope to be able to work from about 43-65.

 

[gettingthere]

We really don’t WANT to be using NFP to avoid pregnancy right now!

I’m in the process of applying for/getting my permanent residency in Canada. So while I’m a US resident I spend most of my time as a visitor in Canada. Emergency/travel medical insurance doesn’t cover pregnancy-related doctor or hospital visits, so we’d have to pay for the entire pregnancy/birth out of pocket. So we’re avoiding pregnancy because I don’t have medical insurance.

We’re not really sure how long we have to keep using NFP to avoid, but we’re hoping it won’t be much longer. Then there’s the whole economic struggle. While we know we could provide food, shelter and clothing for a baby, things would be tight and it’s kind of scary.

That said, we’re really anxious to use NFP to conceive!

 

[Tinajo]

My husband is currently looking for a job and I’m our only source of income so there’s no way we can afford for me to stop working at the moment (also I really want to be a stay at home mother if at all possible). When he gets a job, then hopefully it’ll be a different matter…

 

[surfinpure]

We are using NFP because we have one brain-injured 4-year-old girl who is in need of much therapy and special attention, and we also have a normal and highly active 2-year-old boy who is still nursing, still in diapers, and driving us nearly nuts 24 hours a day. There simply isn’t any more energy or time to go around right now. I would love to have more babies, but it’s probably going to have to wait until I can manage the two that I have.

Blessings to you!

mary

P.S. We evaluate our decisions and responsibilities regarding children and NFP not only on our own, but with the counsel of our pastor.

S’pose now that this old thread is reopened I should amend this … we’re 5 months pregnant! Even though we had just reason to postpone pregnancy, we decided we just wanted another baby too much to wait any longer. And since God cooperated in the decision, I’m sure He’ll help sort out the situation when #3 gets here!