What can Christians do to make people feel welcome

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delrey

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I’m a former catholic I was raised catholic. I am now a witch. Some people have brought up an interesting topic, why do people feel unwelcome unhappy and overall terrible about the church and the christian religion? I replied because church does not make some people feel at peace or better but sometimes makes them feel terrible judged and overall worse than before they went. So why is this happening? Religion is supposed to enhance your life and connect with community so why is it that it’s doing the opposite to some people in your opinion and what can be done to make it into a community people would want to take part in willingly what kind of reform is needed and how can such a negative experience turn into something less hurtful?
 
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I suppose you’re talking about the Catholic Church, not other Christian denominational churches.

If so, it really depends on the church/parish. Some are more accepting of differences than others. It also can depend on the tone that it’s pastor sets for the parish; some pastors are more willing to meet people where they are and teach them from there. That can set up an environment where people are less likely to judge.

When some people have a bad experience with church, it’s not necessarily the doctrine of said church that is to blame. It’s usually the people of that particular church, or perhaps even just one or a few individuals. It’s been my experience that some people who are uneasy about going to Mass, or church, will be skittish and react negatively to things that other people would think nothing of. That’s another thing to consider.

Consider also human nature. When there is any kind of group which has standards, rules, or even just expectations as basic as “be nice”, those standards are bound to make at least someone uncomfortable enough to reject it and say it’s not for them. Just some things to consider.
 
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OP, you are making a statement that Christians are not welcoming on a site that has many churchgoers. Obviously, if you think that Christians are not welcoming, perhaps you should be the one saying what is needed, instead of asking people that don’t have a problem with it to answer.
 
Can somebody please move this out of Popular Media to some place it belongs?
Spirituality or Evangelization or something?
Thanks.
 
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I agree that most on the forum are perfectly content with Catholicism on the whole.

Some people may feel bad about themselves once they realise in how many ways they need to change to adhere to Catholic tenets and have a hope of salvation.

There is a way over that problem, change. Take time if you must, do what you can but gradually change. With Gods help all things are possible.

The Church shouldn’t change radically, people should.

Also, people dislike the idea that they will have to give up all the sins they have grown accustomed to, comfortable with, there is a fear of losing individuality. That fear is borne of ego, it’s an irrational fear in many ways since by diminishing …in sinfulness, you actually become greater…in piety. The latter is a great improvement, a growth and expansion of your spiritual self and what is more can lead to eternal life and Life to the full!
 
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I reject the assertion.

I’d like to ask why do people visiting witches have a certain low level unease about being in the presence of witches? Why do they sense a strange distrurbance in the pit of their stomach, which is hard to put into words?

Why do they sense a certain ill tone when they are near people who claim to be witches?

These are good questions to get to the bottom of.
 
My response may not be typical of most church goers. What I really love about the Catholic Mass is that I am left alone when I enter the building. My history with Protestant churches was a long one of having my hand grabbed at the door, possibly a stick-on name tag offered, endless questions about myself and my family, stay for coffee after the sermon, why not come over for lunch?. Even after 20+ years of attending the same church I could not sit quietly by myself prior to the service. Anyone sitting alone was assumed to be lonely which I have never been in my life.

When I enter the Mass I can do so without being accosted at the door. I can sit for as long as I want and no one will approach me. I avoid the sign of peace by praying with my head bowed during that portion. So to answer your question in a way that is meaningful perhaps only to me, churches would be more welcoming if they just left people alone who want to come in and worship.
 
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I think better communication can help. I have experienced parishes which have an in crowd and don’t properly communicate events or advertise what’s going on.
 
My opinion is somewhere between Celtic Warlord and Lost Lucy. I was also at one of those churches that used the sticky name labels. I’m mildly introvert so never liked it. What I think is that how can someone hope to get to know you in a church setting if they’re not prepared to meet you out of it?
I think this stuff is a lot of times dependent on how intraverted/extraverted you are. I’ve been to so many churches where I can just disappear and that is partly my fault but it’s also about meeting people that you can relate to and once you get past 40 that seems to get increasingly hard not least in churches.
 
delrey said:
So why is this happening?
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To put it somewhat bluntly, because some people are more attached to their sin than they are to God and Truth.

“For there shall be a time, when they will not endure sound doctrine; but, according to their own desires, they will heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears: And will indeed turn away their hearing from the truth, but will be turned unto fables.” 2 Timothy 4: 3-4
 
Edward_H said:
Why do they sense a certain ill tone when they are near people who claim to be witches?
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I can’t say I’ve ever experienced this with any of the Wiccans I know. But it is a very real phenomenon with others, some of whom are Catholic. I worked with one fellow who, whenever he entered the same room as I was in, literally sucked the energy out of me and I couldn’t stand being near him. He thought we were good friends, so when he asked me for a letter of reference for another job he was interested in I was only too happy to provide it. It was the most glowing reference anyone ever got from me, and all to ensure he got the other position and moved on. He did.
 
lordjules said:
I’ve been to so many churches where I can just disappear
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Oddly, to me, this is more likely to happen in the largest congregations. I know a gal in Michigan who attends one of those mega churches with thousands of members. She’s been going to this one for years and has never even met the pastor. In crowds that big, she told me, it’s easy to come and go and never exchange a single word with another member.
 
And it sort of smells bad too. Can’t put it in words. Disharmonious.
 
delrey said:
I am now a witch. Some people have brought up an interesting topic, why do people feel unwelcome unhappy and overall terrible about the church and the christian religion?

Hello. I can’t answer for everyone, but I know some people feel unwelcome, unhappy, and terrible about the Catholic Church because it challenges them to look at themselves and to lead a moral life which for many people these days is inconvenient. Most of us want to do what we want to do. I also think people don’t want to suffer persecution, they want to fit into society, and follow what the world is doing. I think we all want to be loved, but giving over of ourselves to the bad one, no matter how much we rationalize what we’re doing, will not ultimately result in eternal salvation.

Some of us, too, often think we know better than God.

I think too many people don’t even bother to do some in depth research to know what the Catholic Church actually teaches - they simply accept what they’ve been told all their lives by their parents, friends, the popular media. That’s almost the definition of prejudice - judging something one doesn’t really know that much about.

I replied because church does not make some people feel at peace or better but sometimes makes them feel terrible judged and overall worse than before they went. So why is this happening?

There is no “making” a person feel at peace. A life lived trying to do the will of God will bring peace. God respects our free will and will never “make” us do anything. What I do not understand is why people chose, often willfully, to reject God’s goodness and in the process make themselves miserable.

Religion is supposed to enhance your life and connect with community so why is it that it’s doing the opposite to some people in your opinion and what can be done to make it into a community people would want to take part in willingly

In the Catholic church the purpose of religion is to save your eternal soul from eternal separation from God. Enhancing your life, connecting with community will probably also happen as you practice the Catholic faith, but it is more of a by-product. I think, as Catholics, if we would take our faith more seriously ourselves, that the quality of our communities would improve exponentially. However, we are fallible & imperfect, just like the rest of the people on this earth. There is a saying that the Catholic church is a hospital for sinners.

what kind of reform is needed and how can such a negative experience turn into something less hurtful?
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We all need to constantly repent and reform, love each other, and love God.

You are in my prayers, and I beg you to seriously study what the Catholic faith is really about and to return to practicing your faith. There is a wealth of literature out there, plus there is help on this website and many other places, including your local church and pastor.

Thank you for posting.
 
I think it just depends on what you go to church seeking. Catholics sometimes try to give the impression there is a uniform motivation for being a member if the Church. I have found this to not be true. Some people go for community. Some people go for peace and solace. Some people go because they feel like they’re supposed to. There are as many reasons as there are people. I think you just need to find a church you feel comfortable in, if going to church is something you are interested in.
 
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