What can I do for my friend?

[riabia]

Last weekend my friend “Jen’s” dad had a heart attack. It was a fairly minor one in the realm of heart attacks. They scheduled him for bypass surgery, which he had been putting off for several years. Either during or shortly after the surgery (I’m not sure which), he had a massive stroke. I’m not sure exactly what his current condition is, but it is pretty bad. My mom, who got her information from someone at church who is very close to the family, said they would be transferring him to a nursing home. (He is in his mid fifties).

My question is this- I want to be there for Jen, but I don’t know exactly what I should do. She is very close to her dad and she has 4 young children. I have never been in a situation like this, and am not sure what would be appreciated.

Any suggestions?

 

[trailblazer]

You do not have to do anything other than to be a friend! Be there for her reassure her of your love for her and your desire to be there for her. Spend time with her and listen compassionately. Here are a few ideas:

• Invite her to your home for talk and whatever.
• Take her out to dinner and listen to her.
• Ask her if she’d like you to go to the nursing home with her.
• Go with her to church and spend some time before the Eucharist or make the Stations of the Cross.

Thank you for caring enough about her to post this thread. She is very fortunate to have you for a friend. May God bless the 2 of you and may your friendship grow.

Love & peace,
Bob

 

[Arlene]

At this point, she might need some help with the logistics of life. Offer to watch her kids, or rally other friends to take turns. She will want to spend time with her dad, and while nursing homes do welcome children visitors, she will probably want to stay longer than the kids’ tolerance levels, and also want to be free to attend to her dad’s needs.

Also, if your friend and/or her mom are at the nursing home all day, they may appreciate meals being provided at night. It’s one less thing to have to worry about.

Arlene