What did Jesus teach about divorce and adultery ? Is divorce ruining our children?

[John_Russell_Jr]

Hi all, Please see the link below for a letter I wrote to 2 close friends who are living in adultery. Can you tell me if you know any child of a divorced couple who has not suffered greatly from it and borne scars for a long time if not their whole life? Can you offer me advice on how to help the children I know and love who have had their parents divorce and cause them the greatest grief and suffering? Last week I listened to the whole new testament over 2 days * about 22 hrs listening ) on the king james version. It’s a very good translation I thought too. I have just found a catholic bible with Ot and NT on audio book - The New American Bible. i hope it’s good. I’ve only listened a little as yet. i’m on a bible study program solo. One thing that really struck me was how often divorce and adultery was mentioned. Jesus and the apostles talk about it, explain what it is and tell us repeatedly we will be condemned if we do it ( annulments, remarrying when partner dies and other church rules excepted ). Why don’t people takr God seriously? We get away with murder most of our lives. our parents and others are always letting us off lightly, not punishing us and we get away with a lot. But God sees everything incl. what’s in our hearts and minds. We must take God very, very seriously. He’s not joking when he says or asks something. We can lose our souls if we are deaf to his word. Adultery was such a serious sin it was punishable by death under the old law. Our Lady of Fatima said most souls in hell are there for sins against chastity.
What do you guys think of all this and please read the article on the link below and offer advice on ow to help the kids who have been wounded and scandalised by this.
Click on the article on my blog called - What did Jesus teach about divorce and adultery ? Go to blogger.com/profile/06016276810991542260
I hope you have good ideas . God bless.

 

[brigid12]

With the advent of divorce being common, the (adult) children not only feel the pain of the tearing, but also don’t have a role model for a good and lasting marriage for themselves.The role models of parenthood today place the children as totally secondary citizens (sound familiar, what with FOCA on the horizon?).
As a middle-age (if I live to be way over 100) woman who is also a child of divorce, I learned to detest confrontation to the point of not standing up for myself; I haven’t a clue as to what a good, life-long marriage is; and true humility with real love for others seems as if it is so distant that I’ll never achieve it or even come close. In many ways, I feel like a 12 year-old (and not because I’m full of energy, etc. )! I’m sure I act like a 12 year old many times, too.

 

[jamesneiman]

Divorce and adultery wound children. The depth of the damage and the ability to recover is unique in each case. As Christians the most productive thing we can do is to model to our communities what holy matrimony is through our living examples, and to be open to healing the wounds of those who seek our help. We can and must offer our prayers for the healing of those wounded by divorce and adultery, and ask for the grace of the Holy Spirit to strengthen us to live in holy matrimony and chastity.

Divorce and adultery are symptoms of a greater problem: the absence of God and grace in our society.

 

[Sarabande]

“Is divorce ruining our children?”

I think in many cases, it does ruin our children. I know in my extended family alone the cousins whose parents were divorced have had problems. One of them is just so screwed up now, it just saddens me. In a number of cases of friends I knew, it seemed that their parents divorced because they didn’t want to make it work. It got too hard, so they backed out. I can’t judge those who do it as I don’t know the whole story, but I know that for these kids who grew up in a broken household, it is a little scarier getting married. They would rather just co-habitate than make the commitment and risk divorce. I’m not saying I agree with that, but I can understand where they are coming from. It’s a shame, because they never learn how to work out their problems. I saw my parents fight, but I also saw them reconcile and worked things out. My parents were fairly open with me as I got older, so I was able to really pick their brains about what marriage was really all about. Unfortunately, not everyone has this.

Although, on the other hand, I don’t believe in keeping children in a family if one of the spouses is abusive. I know a number of children whose mothers stayed in these kinds of relationships and it really hurt them. By the time they grew up, they suffered many scars through their fathers either being physically or emotionally/mentally abused. Some even resent their mothers for staying and not protecting them from the abuse. Or they resent both parents for staying together and making their lives miserable with daily scream-outs. In a more extreme case, a young woman my husband knew was repeatedly raped by her father for years and although the mother knew about it, she did not leave her husband. So you can imagine what this poor young woman had gone through. In these cases, I believe the parent needs to protect her/his children first and get out.