J
jazzy0710
Guest
Many of you will remember my past posts over the last several years regarding my Husband’s Father and his Stepmother.
I’m not going to go into extreme details but look back if you need.
Things have become worse.
Hubby’s stepmom has been a problem from the very beginning. When she saw that I was standing up for myself, not backing down from her, and not tolerating any of her disrespectful and verbally abusive behavior toward me. Then she began doing it to my Sister in law, then to my Sister in law’s boyfriend(she actually eventually broke them up!) Then to some of my Sister in law’s friends(she also terminated one of my Sister in law’s friendships) and other family & friends.
My husband and I completely shut her out almost 2 years ago. It was solely my husband’s decision not mine. However, my Father in law doesn’t believe that which I will get into later.
Like my husband’s stepmother, my Father in law really started over stepping my husband’s boundaries.
March of this year, my Father in law came by my house on his lunch hour to visit my son and me (he only comes during that time for fear that his wife will find out and get mad at him). It seemed that he had enough. He told me that he had been seeing another woman for close to a year and felt more of a love connection to her and that he wasn’t sure that he ever even loved his current wife. He also told me that he knew for a fact that his wife had apparently cheated on him as well when she went on a vacation alone earlier in the year to the Carribbean. My Father in law had a very extensive plan for a divorce and looked very forward to making it happen, or so it seemed…
2 and a half weeks later he showed up at my house with an Easter gift for my son and out of nowhere he says to me "She(referring to his wife) insisted that I let you know that this is from her too. Like 2 and a half weeks ago he had had enough! What the?
A month later we had reached the day that my Father in law’s Mother was being buried.
The morning of the burial I had to go to the bank beforehand. When I went into the bank, there was my Father in law. He asked me if I had heard about his wife. I told him no because hubby and I haven’t talked to her in nearly 2 years and never will again. He told me that she had a non cancerous brain tumor removed and was in the hospital. I said Oh yeah and then asked him if he was going to his Mother’s burial and did he want a ride. He told me no and that he had to go back to the hospital.
Ever since this he has really been pushing and guilt tripping me and especially my husband to patch things up with her. My husband’s and my thought on this is that if she’s so greatly improved, why did he miss our son’s birthday for the second year in a row? Why is he still only coming down on his lunch hour to visit? Why does she text him 15-20 times during the hour that he’s here to visit? Why does she guilt trip him when he wants to go fishing or hunting with his brothers? Like, if she really truly loved him as much as she claims she does why doesn’t she take a step back and let him be a Grandfather and have hobbies outside of his relationship with her?
So here’s the big kicker that really hurt my husband…
Yesterday my husband decided that he wanted to meet with his father to discuss some boundaries. There were only 4, and they were quite reasonable.
My husband went to pick him up from work. My Father in law brought up his wife immediately and how much she misses us and how she’s improved and how this makes her cry, etc etc. Didn’t even have enough sense and politeness to wish my husband a Happy Birthday first even.
Basically my Father in law refused to believe that my husband made this decision on his own and that it was my fault. All of my fault.
Then came the big kicker. Out of nowhere he told my husband that he felt that I was eventually going to turn into a lying and cheating w**** and that I would leave him, take our son, and hold it against him.
First and foremost, my husband is in the Navy and sails a lot yes. However, we have a 2 year old son who consumes all of my time and energy while he is away. Where the heck am I going to find the time to go out and cheat on my husband when I have a 2 year old to look after? Not only that, although we have been married only 6 years we’ve been together for 13. I am completely devoted to him and don’t want anyone else but him. That’s why I found it hilarious but my husband not so much. Yes my husband trusts me 100% but he was very saddened and stunned that his Father would say something like that.
The only reason that I can think of that he’d say something like that is because one day earlier this year while my husband was away, my son got really sick. I was really scared, so I asked our neighbour if he’d come along with us since he didn’t have to work that day. I’m 30, our neighbour is 25. I assure you that I have no attraction to him whatsoever. I look at him strictly like a little brother because that’s exactly what he’s like to me and my husband. Anyway, we were at the clinic with my son for quite a while and never ate so when we left the clinic I decided to swing by the McDonald’s drive thru to pick up lunch for myself and my neighbour. However, from the time that I left the clinic to the time I stopped at the lights to make a right turn to McDonald’s I noticed my Father in law and his wife in their SUV right behind me. They followed me that entire way. 20 minutes total.
So my question is this. Given what my Father in law said to my husband about me; would you let this man around your child? and secondly, what do I do and say to comfort my heart broken husband? Any feedback good or bad and prayers for my husband and my Father in law would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks and have a blessed day <3
I’m not going to go into extreme details but look back if you need.
Things have become worse.
Hubby’s stepmom has been a problem from the very beginning. When she saw that I was standing up for myself, not backing down from her, and not tolerating any of her disrespectful and verbally abusive behavior toward me. Then she began doing it to my Sister in law, then to my Sister in law’s boyfriend(she actually eventually broke them up!) Then to some of my Sister in law’s friends(she also terminated one of my Sister in law’s friendships) and other family & friends.
My husband and I completely shut her out almost 2 years ago. It was solely my husband’s decision not mine. However, my Father in law doesn’t believe that which I will get into later.
Like my husband’s stepmother, my Father in law really started over stepping my husband’s boundaries.
March of this year, my Father in law came by my house on his lunch hour to visit my son and me (he only comes during that time for fear that his wife will find out and get mad at him). It seemed that he had enough. He told me that he had been seeing another woman for close to a year and felt more of a love connection to her and that he wasn’t sure that he ever even loved his current wife. He also told me that he knew for a fact that his wife had apparently cheated on him as well when she went on a vacation alone earlier in the year to the Carribbean. My Father in law had a very extensive plan for a divorce and looked very forward to making it happen, or so it seemed…
2 and a half weeks later he showed up at my house with an Easter gift for my son and out of nowhere he says to me "She(referring to his wife) insisted that I let you know that this is from her too. Like 2 and a half weeks ago he had had enough! What the?
A month later we had reached the day that my Father in law’s Mother was being buried.
The morning of the burial I had to go to the bank beforehand. When I went into the bank, there was my Father in law. He asked me if I had heard about his wife. I told him no because hubby and I haven’t talked to her in nearly 2 years and never will again. He told me that she had a non cancerous brain tumor removed and was in the hospital. I said Oh yeah and then asked him if he was going to his Mother’s burial and did he want a ride. He told me no and that he had to go back to the hospital.
Ever since this he has really been pushing and guilt tripping me and especially my husband to patch things up with her. My husband’s and my thought on this is that if she’s so greatly improved, why did he miss our son’s birthday for the second year in a row? Why is he still only coming down on his lunch hour to visit? Why does she text him 15-20 times during the hour that he’s here to visit? Why does she guilt trip him when he wants to go fishing or hunting with his brothers? Like, if she really truly loved him as much as she claims she does why doesn’t she take a step back and let him be a Grandfather and have hobbies outside of his relationship with her?
So here’s the big kicker that really hurt my husband…
Yesterday my husband decided that he wanted to meet with his father to discuss some boundaries. There were only 4, and they were quite reasonable.
My husband went to pick him up from work. My Father in law brought up his wife immediately and how much she misses us and how she’s improved and how this makes her cry, etc etc. Didn’t even have enough sense and politeness to wish my husband a Happy Birthday first even.
Basically my Father in law refused to believe that my husband made this decision on his own and that it was my fault. All of my fault.
Then came the big kicker. Out of nowhere he told my husband that he felt that I was eventually going to turn into a lying and cheating w**** and that I would leave him, take our son, and hold it against him.
First and foremost, my husband is in the Navy and sails a lot yes. However, we have a 2 year old son who consumes all of my time and energy while he is away. Where the heck am I going to find the time to go out and cheat on my husband when I have a 2 year old to look after? Not only that, although we have been married only 6 years we’ve been together for 13. I am completely devoted to him and don’t want anyone else but him. That’s why I found it hilarious but my husband not so much. Yes my husband trusts me 100% but he was very saddened and stunned that his Father would say something like that.
The only reason that I can think of that he’d say something like that is because one day earlier this year while my husband was away, my son got really sick. I was really scared, so I asked our neighbour if he’d come along with us since he didn’t have to work that day. I’m 30, our neighbour is 25. I assure you that I have no attraction to him whatsoever. I look at him strictly like a little brother because that’s exactly what he’s like to me and my husband. Anyway, we were at the clinic with my son for quite a while and never ate so when we left the clinic I decided to swing by the McDonald’s drive thru to pick up lunch for myself and my neighbour. However, from the time that I left the clinic to the time I stopped at the lights to make a right turn to McDonald’s I noticed my Father in law and his wife in their SUV right behind me. They followed me that entire way. 20 minutes total.
So my question is this. Given what my Father in law said to my husband about me; would you let this man around your child? and secondly, what do I do and say to comfort my heart broken husband? Any feedback good or bad and prayers for my husband and my Father in law would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks and have a blessed day <3
Yes, it’s a real brain-teaser.