What do I do ?

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Nelka

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My friend whom I work with was expecting a baby with his girlfriend who also works with us but in a different department.

He found out yesterday that they were expecting twins but one did not have a skull and would die.

Today they had this baby aborted, maybe they were told it was best or it may harm the other or they just wanted rid of it.

Abortion is wrong but how do I treat them now?
How should I be around them now?
What do I do or say?

Thanks.
 
I know that it’s not an action that they’ll know or learn from, but praying for them is part of the answer. I’m not sure how you should broach the subject of the aborted twin and I don’t know how they’d react to you simply expressing your sorrow at his/her death even without mentioning the abortion (which they could even take as meaning that you approved of the abortion on some level and were just sorrow for the situation - I don’t know…the “pro-choice” reasoning which they may have been fed is absurd).

Sorry I couldn’t be of greater help, but I hope you someone else can tell you the best way to deal with them.

Lord, have mercy…
 
  1. Prayer
  2. Love and compassion
  3. Don’t bring it up unless your friend does
  4. And if he does, tread very carefully, maybe say something banal like “it must have been a very difficult time for you, you can be assured of my prayers for both of you and the child”.
It will be subtle enough to show that you believe the child was a real person, but not offensive.

I pray for many non believing friends when they’re in difficulty and invariably all of them say that they appreciate my concern for them.
 
Pray for them, pray for the baby. Pray that God is merciful. Treat them with love and compassion. It’s not our place to judge. But to be a witness to the truth. As mentioned, if you speak of this incident speak of the child as a person and as the loss of a human being.

You may never truly know what was going on with them personally or spiritually that led up to their decision. Although we, as a people of faith see that decision as one that is not morally acceptable, they might not have known any better. You should not treat them as some evil people, because we are all sinners, and because of that sin we have disorder and disconnect in our world and situations like the one you describe.
 
EWTN had a “Faith and Culture” episode hosted by Colleen Carroll Campbell concerning the lack of ethics in medical training and clinical practice today.

Doctors and nurses are advancing toward varying degrees of acceptance of where abortion and assisted suicide are used in hospitals.

This couple may not have had ethical practitioners to support them in carrying their baby to term.
 
How sad for your friends. Pray for them and please remember that compassion does not include judgment from you or any others. Help them prepare for the joyous occasion of the birth of their baby.
 
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