There is a priest in my diocese who, when people go to call him ‘‘Father,’’ refuses to allow them to call him by this title and responds ‘‘Just call me X.’’ Is it okay for him to do this?
If you are asking whether the Church forbids him to do this, the answer is no. He can ask people to call him whatever he likes. But he does not have the right to forbid them to make use of his title, and from your report, does not appear to be doing so. To say “Just call me X” is not the same thing as actually refusing permission to call him “Father X.” A person directed to call him X can say politely, “I’m sorry, Father, but I don’t know you well enough to call you by your first name and I prefer the respectfulness of titles. Please call me Mr./Ms. Smith and I’ll call you Fr. X.” If the priest actually does then “refuse permission” to call him “Father,” then I recommend avoiding calling him anything. Gain his attention by some other means. But don’t let him get away with calling you by your first name. Continue to correct him by saying pleasantly, “It’s Mr./Ms. Smith.” (That may get him to reconsider the appropriateness of dropping titles.)
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