What do you do when the "snake is at your door?"

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What does a convert do when they attempt to share their heart with a few from their “completely Fundamentalist” family and get continually attacked, and below the belt I might add, attacks at my children even, accusatory remarks? What is the best and most Godly way to handle this? Surely I desire to be a witness -----What should you do when about 10 e-mails come in daily from family members completely rapped up, I might add, in various and sundry “cults” in the Protestant realm? Total Pentacostal agenda? etc. etc…Telling you “you are being lead falsely”–“you are in bondage to the law”—“you are making a grave mistake”…, “you’re no longer a Christian”, etc. etc. I feel surely “the snake is at my door”, etc.,-and I need some guidance here, fellow dear brothers and sisters in Christ, fellow Catholics…how should I handle this? How should I, if at all, even respond to these e-mails?

I know the verse “Shake the dust off from your feet”…Luke 10:11-12 ------does this mean my entire family here???/they are being very hard to deal with—even my own parents are turning on me…I heard Fr. Mitch Pacwa’s family turned on him too when he became a Priest? Is this true? I know we need to be ready and willing to forsake everyone and take up our cross and follow our Jesus-----but yes, how do we handle the little particulars here?

Thank you friends~~
 
It’s tough when your family turns on you like that. I told my sister-in-law (in Illinois) when I made my decision that the rumbling sound she was hearing was my Pentecostal mother spinning in her grave. (Of course, Mom has known the truth now for 10 years.)

I would suggest taking what for them is intended to be an emotional, provacative confrontation and moving it to a higher level. Give them one of the question points from the “Your Top Ten” thread below on this forum, and tell them that there will be no more discussion until they have adequately answered that question point. Smile when you do it, and invite them to pray for you. Tell them that you will be praying for them. It’s up to you whether or not you want to say you’ll be praying a Rosary 😉

DaveBj
 
Sparkle,

There are others who will be capable of answering you in much more elegant and scriptual manner, but allow me to say this:

When I came back to faith (1-2 years ago now), it was largely due to our protestant brothers who showed me the love of Christ they possesed (tv shows, radio evangelists, books etc.). Yet the more I explored the more the I realized I wanted to revert back to my Catholic roots.

One of the many attributes of the Catholic faith that penetrated me deeply was (generally speaking) the charitable nature and loving welcome that the Catholic faith exhibits.

I’d recommened being charitable, being open, listening, not passing judgement and showing respect for thier views. Through this, hopefully will come enlightenment on thier behalf.

I simply cannot believe that God designed a world where those that love him are at odds with one another. Comparatively speaking, it has been my experience, that the Catholic faith is charitable and welcoming to others opinions. With this comes truth, but it must begin with love and respect.

Hang tough while being accepting.
 
It is easy to give advice. It is hard to walk in someone else’s shoes…

Many people are totally unaware of their own attitude (anger, condemnation, etc.), and pointing it out to them usually does little good. You can try to explain to them why you have done what you have done, but it will be of no use whatsoever if they are not listening (actively). Attacking them will do no good.

One of the hardest reactions to argue against is the very passive agreement. (Umhm. Umhm. I see. That’s interesting. Umhm. Yes…) Don’t get drawn in to an argument; it isn’t going to convince them. Ask some questions (but be very careful of tone of voice), such as, “Where is that in the Bible?”. Refuse to be drawn in until they are showing that they are listening. Don’t cut off contact with them. Just cut off being sucked into their maelstrom.
 
You might try asking them for their ONE, most serious objection to the Catholic Church. Ask them, politely, for Scripture to back up their claim.
If they respond, answer them with the Catholic understanding of the scripture.
If it works once, continue with their next biggest objecton. Keep it going as long as they answer you.
You won’t change any minds immediately. In fact, you won’t change any minds at all; that’s the Holy Spirit’s job.
But you will be getting Catholic theology to them, always pointing toward Christ and showing them that we really are Christians and not a cult. I wouldn’t rub it in that we are the Church founded by Jesus Christ, but answer their concerns with love and always with Scripture.
There’s plenty of help here at CA and also John Martignoni at
www.biblechrictoinsociety.com. All of his apologetics information is Scripturally based.
And always keep it to one topic at a time. Don’t move on until that topic is completely exhausted to your satisfaction.
Goood luck and
God bless
 
Hello sparkle,

Jesus tells us that He does not bring peace but a sword. Mother will be set against son and daughter against father. (Sorry, I cannot get my bible on disk to work. Otherwise I would quote Jesus’ words.)

Jesus tells of how evil the Jewish Pharisees are and they, in turn, instegate His crucifixion.

Religion is not always peaceful and easy. In the controversy between the Protestants and Catholics, truth and people’s souls are at stake. One must stay strong in their convictions.

I would try to establish religion as an out of bounds area in your conversations and e-mails. I have been around anti Catholics many times and coming to any peaceful understandings on religion is rare.

Jesus never said following Him would be easy.

Peace in Christ,
Steven Merten
www.ILOVEYOUGOD.com
 
I would agree with Steven’s advice.

Don’t discuss it. Just ask them to love you as you love them, and pray for you as you pray for them. When they see you will not discuss the matter, they will tire of harassing you. If they renounce you altogether, it is a proof of how faulty their religion is that love and reconciliation is not at the center of it.

The best way to change people’s hearts is by our actions. When they see and feel your love, they will love you back. Hopefully the snake will be transformed into an elephant. The elephant may always be in the parlor, but he doesn’t have to break any furniture.
 
Family religious disputes are tough. I see the issue from the other side. My twin brother converted from the Catholic faith to Mormonism. I spoke my peace at the time, and tried to get him to change his mind. Our relationship was severely strained for quite a while.

Ultimately, I came to a point where I could respect his sincere and earnest desire to live in Christ, while not conceding the veracity of his mormon doctrine. In other words, time gave me a different perspective.

I hope it is the same for your family. They may ultimately come to respect your faith in Christ, even if they never agree with your doctrine. It takes time and prayer.

Peace be with you and your family.
 
So many options here you could choose from.

e-mails…I think if they raise a specific point in an e-mail, and you can find a satisfactory response - it should get sent back.
Sometimes it is good just to send a link - it’s less personal and they wouldn’t take it as a personal shot (well…not as much anyway)

If verbal discussions get too heated, maybe they could simply write down their major objection, and you could take the time to answer them.

You could draw up your own personal testimony and give it to them. A sort of “why I converted” statement.

Anything you say to them may not take root right away…but it may take root down the road - that is in God’s timing.

In the end it will be your personal example that speaks to them.
How you live out your faith, and how you hold up under their barrage.

That’s another great thing about being catholic - we can take these annoying situations and “offer it up”
 
Steven Merten:
Religion is not always peaceful and easy. In the controversy between the Protestants and Catholics, truth and people’s souls are at stake. One must stay strong in their convictions.
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This concept has (and likely aways will) cause me much distress.

On one hand we have a devout Protestant who loves Christ and tries to follow Christ to the best of his ability.

On the other we have a Catholic who does the same.

BUT (stated objectively), because of technical differences between the fundemental beliefs of these faiths (keeping in mind each honestly feels his respective side holds the truth) one or the other’s "souls are at stake". It implies that the God we are called to love would allow a soul to be eternally damned because of the happenstance of the repective souls teachings. i.e. upbringing, environment, family values etc.

I hope the God I love is not a God of technicalities and is a God of love pure and simple.

.
 
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Lorarose:
In the end it will be your personal example that speaks to them.How you live out your faith, and how you hold up under their barrage.That’s another great thing about being catholic - we can take these annoying situations and “offer it up”
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Thank you so much dear friend, and all others too for so many encouraging words here in this thread. I really heard what ALL of you said. And I pray God might use me, as an example as someone who truly lives their faith, as many do not.

God Bless~~
 
You truly have a heavy cross to carry. Jesus never promised that being a Christian would be easy or pleasent. He did promise us that if we remained "F"aithfull unto the end, He would judge us and Gods gift of Salvation would be granted us.

So, endure to the end with a Scripturally accurate “HOPE” for salvation. Do not defend His Church, there is nothing to defend against for Christ Himself will protect both you and His body, the Catholic Church.

Rather, focus on the false beliefs and teachings of those who e-mail you. Return email to them and ask them to defend and support their heretical theology on the issues they present to you. Show them in Scripture where their theology is false and contrary to Christs teachings. Make the go on the defense and expose them to the faults in their “opinions” on theology.

Do this with “LOVE” so be kind. Do not write hatefull things and start with easy subjects and advance to more complex subjects. Allways respect their “opinions” but be ready to ask them to support them and allways give evidence to show that they were misled. Some of their “opinions” will be true so let them know when their theology is correct and point out when it is wrong. But allways with respect and “LOVE”.

Questions to ask them:
When was the Bible written?
When was each Scripture written?
Is it the OT or NT that is refered to as Inspired Scripture in the NT?
Who authorized the Bible?
Who declared it inspired?
Is the Koran, Book of Morman or Bible inspired? Proof? Can a Book declare itself inspired? Is that even proof?
Who founded their denomination? Proof?
What did the early Church teach? Do they still teach it?
Has their sect ever changed stances on moral issues (like birth control or aportion)? When and why did they change?

So many more questions to ask them and so little room.

Learn apologetics, study history, study Scripture. You will learn what to ask them and how to respond with Gods Word. But allways speak with “Love” and respect for them. God loves all His children and wants to save us all, but all who call upon His name will not be saved.

You are a member of Christ’s suffering Church. Be proud, be strong, be "F"aithfull to Him in all you do.

Good luck Theophilus,:love:
 
Hi. I’m a convert to be as well…hopefully this December. Most of my family is either indifferent or supportive…my grandmothers, though, are quite disturbed. One of them has a very distorted view of Catholic history, theology, and practice, and would not hesitate to teach that the Church is the Whore of Babylon; however, she does try to be charitable despite the fact that she thinks I’ve been led astray. I would advise that you pray pray pray pray before you read any emails and you receive, before you respond, and after you’ve sent your response. Pray for the words to say, and pray for their hearts, to be open. Entrust your family to the Immaculate Heart of Mary that I am now just getting to know myself.

It may not be possible to respond to every one individually, but I would start my sending your testimony. Explain why you became a Catholic. I would also suggest that you consider telling them how uncharitable they are being, and ask them, in a gentle and respectful way, if Christ would treat you in this way. As well, challenge as to how they expect to win someone over with hateful and bitter words against the Church or you. Articles, books, or audio files for anyone who is willing to listen could also be helpful.

And like others have said, don’t let yourself be caught on the defensive all the time…you challenge THEM sometimes.
 
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Malachi4U:
Do not defend His Church, there is nothing to defend against for Christ Himself will protect both you and His body, the Catholic Church. Return email to them and ask them to defend and support their heretical theology on the issues they present to you. Show them in Scripture where their theology is false and contrary to Christs teachings. Make the go on the defense and expose them to the faults in their “opinions” on theology.
Questions to ask them:
When was the Bible written?
When was each Scripture written?
Is it the OT or NT that is refered to as Inspired Scripture in the NT?
Who authorized the Bible?
Who declared it inspired?
Is the Koran, Book of Morman or Bible inspired? Proof? Can a Book declare itself inspired? Is that even proof?
Who founded their denomination? Proof?
What did the early Church teach? Do they still teach it?
Has their sect ever changed stances on moral issues (like birth control or aportion)? When and why did they change?
So many more questions to ask them and so little room.
Learn apologetics, study history, study Scripture. You will learn what to ask them and how to respond with Gods Word. But allways speak with “Love” and respect for them. God loves all His children and wants to save us all, but all who call upon His name will not be saved.You are a member of Christ’s suffering Church. Be proud, be strong, be "F"aithfull to Him in all you do.
Good luck Theophilus,:love:
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THANKS Theophilus! What great questions to ask!!! I’ve got to write them down!
 
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twf:
Most of my family is either indifferent or supportive…my grandmothers, though, are quite disturbed. One of them has a very distorted view of Catholic history, theology, and practice, and would not hesitate to teach that the Church is the Whore of Babylon.
Click to expand...
This has alot to do with their reaction. Fulton Sheen said that people don’t hate the Catholic Church, they hate what they think is the Catholic Church. As time goes by they will see your love for Christ and you devotion to Him increase. Give them a chance to get used to the idea. Don’t cut yourself off from them. Maybe God wants you to really know your faith and He is using them to fine tune you. Remember, Rom 8:28 “We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to His purpose.” Try not to take their attacks personally, if they don’t really know the Catholic Church (and anyone that hostile to the Catholic Church doesn’t know it) then they know not what they do.

My realtives are all indifferent to God and the Church. Look at it this way: at least you have the chance of having a lively discussion! You all are in my prayers!
 
The title question is an interesting one. The variation in my family is this: I get those emails about religion and politics and when I respond to them, my relatives want to know what MY agenda is.

I do respond to them, even if it takes several days. Also, I try to be reasonably brief, not more than one printed page.

My (nice) aunt sends me all these “prayer chains” or whatever they call them, warning me not to break them.
 
just label email from those people as spam and you won’t be bothered any more. you will be a lot more convincing by living a good Christian life and making church teaching a part of your life, including especially counsels on charity, than engaging in fruitless debate with people who are not interested in hearing the truth.

email prayer chains that contain threats or demands for money are illegal, just like chain letters sent through the US mail
 
I’ve a good friend with whom I can not talk about world politics anymore else we end-up getting mad at each other. Anyway, he insists on forwarding me these links to stories that support his various (crazy) positions, along with comments to get me agitated. He will not change; I will not change…so why have this ongoing pissing contest? Make no sense.

My email application has the functionality to set-up various filters for incoming messages. Using his emal address, I’ve combined it with several keywords that are “out of bounds” in my book, for us to discuss. It has been working great. Those types of messages from him no longer make it to my inbox.
 
The first thing you should do is get a subscription to “This Rock”. It is a little spendy, but worth every penny.

There was a great article in “This Rock” this month, (Oct. 2004). I think with family, it would be particularly effective. Basically, it is this: Tell your family that you are searching for the truth-- and if the Catholic church doesn’t have it, you want to know.

In the article, the apologist goes a step further, saying that if you can prove to him that the Catholic Church is wrong on any single one of its doctrines, that he will renounce the Church and go to church with them this Sunday.

There is nothing in the Bible that is contrary to the Catholic faith. So take the time to sit down with family members (one at a time, one on one) and discuss things. Tell them you sincerely believe the Catholic Church is right, but most of all, you are seaching for the truth. But right now you feel attacked. Can we discuss this one issue at a time? And if you don’t know the answer, say, good point, can I look into this issue more?

You know where they are coming from, they only believe the Bible. But they mistakenly believe Catholic teachings contradict the Bible. So root all your discussions in the Bible. The Catholic Church is wonderfully Biblical. Introduce them to the real teachings of the Catholic Church and offer up your sufferings to God for the souls in purgatory, an end to war, etc. Every email you get say a prayer for that person to be awakened to the truth. And thank God that they love you enough to risk you cutting off contact with them because they think you are goint to hell.

They are motivated by love for you and love for God.

If you truly cannot stand it, cut off the contact. But if you can, change your perception of their actions. They love you and love God. Instead of feeling attacked, feel sad and pray that God will enlighten them. Pray, pray, pray!

God Bless
 
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