What does your parish do on Mother's day?

[Pup7]

As we waited for the elevator, a man in the custodial dept was polishing the floors. He said “Happy Mother’s Day, ladies.” He did it out of kindness, and my friend is gracious and did not try to correct him, she said “Thank You”.

I went to the mall in Bellevue on Saturday and was asked if I had any big plans for Mother’s Day. I smiled and said that we don’t really do crowds, so we would likely just spend the day at home.

We really don’t do crowds. We hate it so much we celebrate Valentine’s Day one week after 14 Feb. What’s romantic about a restaurant wall to wall with people?

My pup loves me. He’s always happy to see me and I know I saved him from certain death. I can live with that. His antics and his bids for attention are a blessing.

I guess the combo of leaving my husband in the hands of the nurses and standing with my friend just triggered your screen name in my head. I whispered a little prayer.

Thanks. That means a lot.

I don’t spend my life wallowing in self pity for certain. But some days are just a bit rough. Turning 45 in a month probably isn’t helping either. LOL.

 

[PetraG]

It stung. I can’t lie about that. I didn’t stand, but it still hurt. The looks I got didn’t help either.

The looks you got? Oh, goodness, I am so sorry. If that is the norm where you are, then that is actually a reason to make some accommodation. Our parish does preface the prayer for mothers in the church with a prayer for mothers whose children preceded them in death, who cannot be with their children, and the women who hope for motherhood but do not have any children. That did make a difference to me.

I actually did get “when are you going to have children?” from someone who was an adoptive parent himself because he and his wife could not have children. He is usually a sensitive person, too. It is hard to remember what it is like, yes.

If I’m to be honest, I have to say that for some of us, the answer some days is yes.

Especially days like yesterday. And I know I’m not alone.

I’ve been there and know that sometimes the answer is “yes,” but we also know it cannot be that way, especially when we are a Church in a world where children are not always welcomed.

We’re not going to a world where we don’t share joys or milestones that aren’t available to everyone or that have been cruelly taken away from some of us. If we did that, we couldn’t share any of our joys and sorrows with each other at all, since for every joy there is someone suffering from the lack of it and for every sorrow there is someone who has it much worse and suffers all over again when the subject is raised.

The answer is not to stop sharing our joys but to be far better than we are at helping each other share our griefs. That is hard to do, because every person who is sorrowing has needs that are uniquely his or her own. Sometimes, after all, it is even hard for spouses to comfort each other about losses having to do with parenthood. We have to try, though. Just sweeping the sorrow under the rug and pretending it isn’t there doesn’t work, either, do you think?

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

I don’t like it, never did. As a foster kid it was a terrible time, and even after I was adopted it was tough. I still felt like everyone woman standing was likely a horrible person behind closed doors. I was single for years. tough. I was married and wanting children. that was tough, too.

“One day, I’ll like this” I thought…

Then the time came…but now you have me doing pew calisthenics with young kids. The last thing I want is to drag my tired butt up so I can sand in front of the whole church while my kids make a scene.

Leave me out!

Say something in the petitions of the faithful. No need for a big song and dance.

The answer is not to stop sharing our joys but to be far better than we are at helping each other share our griefs. That is hard to do, because every person who is sorrowing has needs that are uniquely his or her own. Sometimes, after all, it is even hard for spouses to comfort each other about losses having to do with parenthood. We have to try, though. Just sweeping the sorrow under the rug and pretending it isn’t there doesn’t work, either, do you think?

That’s what the petitions of the faithful are there for. A “Special blessing” is just so narcissistic special snowflake. Moms get one when your kid is Baptized.

Fortunately, I now go to a parish that doesn’t participate in such ego-centric “everyone stands up” nonsense.

 

[BridgetN]

My parish has May Crowning, which is when there is a procession and a little girl in the parish crowns the Blessed Mother statue with a wreath of flowers. It is a way to honor our Heavenly Mother on Mother’s Day.
I’ve been lucky to have done the crowning once when I was younger.

Does anyone else’s parish do May crowning?

 

[rondirect]

Blessing of Mothers at the end of Mass and we close with a Hymn to the Mary, the Mother of God.
The Faith Formation children and their parents have the May crowning during the first week of May.

 

[Pup7]

No one said the answer was “to stop sharing milestones”. I don’t even see where I implied that.

All I said was “some days the answer is yes”. I get this is part of life. Oh, you can trust me on that.

Sometimes, after all, it is even hard for spouses to comfort each other about losses having to do with parenthood. We have to try, though.

You think? Yeah, been there too. To the point of nearly divorcing more than once.

I don’t begrudge happiness to anyone. Saying a special blessing for moms or dads on their day is fine. But asking people to stand up is a bit much - and I normally don’t care one way or the other, but I’m starting to see the other side of it now.

I actually did get “when are you going to have children?” from someone who was an adoptive parent himself because he and his wife could not have children.

I get that all the time.

 

[PetraG]

You’re right that in a parish where women who don’t stand up get “looks,” it is probably better to have the moms just remain seated. It is hard to un-do the expectation that anyone being out for a blessing is going to be asked to stand up, but it may be worthwhile.

(Don’t get me started on everyone else deciding they have to “add” to the blessing by doing what looks like a group Nazi salute. I always find that picture extremely unsettling. I’m glad our current pastor does NOT ask for the everyone to “extend their hands in blessing,” because that is what it always looked like to me.)

 

[FrancisPio]

My parish was quite cute. They surprised all the woman with a tulip on their way out of mass.

 

[Arwing]

Never seen that, personally. Sounds nice.

 

[DignumEtJustum]

Most parishes I’ve attended in this diocese have some flowers for the mothers or for her kids to bring home for her.

 

[alice24]

(Don’t get me started on everyone else deciding they have to “add” to the blessing by doing what looks like a group Nazi salute.

Which is another perspective on mother´s day I have, speakig as a german now. Mother´s day wasn´t a thing here before the nazis, and after it was a big commercial thing. It´s not something in our cultural tradition here…

 

[MSSheBear]

Not every woman is a mother. I am almost sixty and not a mother. So it is not going to happen in the future. I also ride a bike to Mass. I wouldn’t care for a tulip. I have no business taking one.

 

[Pup7]

Not being rude, but then don’t take one. I’m not a mom either and am a few weeks shy of 45. They handed out roses after Mass and I just didn’t take one because I didn’t think it was right.

Although my best friend called me and wished me Happy Dog Mom Day because he knew I’d have a rough one and wanted to make me laugh.

 

[FrancisPio]

Not every woman is a mother. I am almost sixty and not a mother. So it is not going to happen in the future. I also ride a bike to Mass. I wouldn’t care for a tulip. I have no business taking one.

1. I forgot to mention our homily for Mother’s Day at my church. A single woman had called our priest years ago. She had felt bad because he didn’t mention woman who because of their vocation through not fault of their own, we’re not able to have children. Ever since, our priest makes a point of including them in the day.
2. I bike sometimes 45 miles a day and have tons of room. Save up for a Timbuk2 Raider backpack.

 

[MSSheBear]

I feel a bit sheepish taking a large backpack in the church. I have a light road bike that has no luggage capacity, no panniers, no rack. I am going to have to upgrade my backpack. Thanks for the recommendation. I am also impressed with your mileage.

 

[Sunbreak]

Parish does nothing except the pastor said Happy Mother’s Day at the end of Mass. Really, there’s no reason for a parish to do anything for Mother’s Day since it’s a secular celebration.

 

[Elizabeth3]

My parish mentions mothers, Godmothers, spiritual mothers, women struggling with infertility, mothers who have lost children, and mothers who have died, during the prayer intentions.

At the end of Mass, mothers, Godmothers and spiritual mothers (the two sisters that serve our parish are included) are asked to stand for a blessing and the altar servers brings each one a rose.

In the weeks leading up to Mother’s day, you can purchase a carnation for $1 which will be added to the others to decorate the sanctuary and surround the statue of Mary. Each carnation can be bought in memory or in honor of a mother. Their names are written on hearts which are also scattered at the base of the containers of carnations.

 

[Pup7]

In the weeks leading up to Mother’s day, you can purchase a carnation for $1 which will be added to the others to decorate the sanctuary and surround the statue of Mary. Each carnation can be bought in memory or in honor of a mother. Their names are written on hearts which are also scattered at the base of the containers of carnations.

Nice! I might mention this for next year if we can make it happen here on base. A lot of folks are miles and miles away from their mom, as well, and they might like to do that for her.

 

[Elizabeth3]

I think that would be lovely for those who can’t be with their moms. (whether separated by miles or death). Our sanctuary looked so pretty with containers of white, pink and red carnations set at varying heights around the base of the altar and Blessed Mother statue. These were set on lots of white satin fabric with the hearts in pink for In Memory or in red for In Honor w/ the mom’s names and scattered on the white fabric. The Catholic Daughter’s chapter at our parish handled the details.